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 Post subject: The First of March
PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:16 am 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2093
Location: Birmingham
Yes it is just over a week now until we hear The Result.

For some reason I feel strangely like I have done towards the end of my pregnancies! You know, tired out, desperate for it to be all over, slight panic, wondering and worrying whether everything will be OK when it finally happens and it won't be too painful !

And yet also aware that this is only the beginning, not the end.
So much more in front of our children.
The secondary school they go to will be merely a road that carries them to their final destination in life rather than the destination itself. And it kind of makes me think about what I really want in life for my son.
Most important is that he be kind, caring, a builder of a better future for all of us, someone special that will light up people's lives as he lives his.
Having a big salary carries no meaning for me - other than helping his ability to buy a good education for his own children (whether by catchment area, tuition or school fees!).
Yes, I do believe that Grammar school is a good road for him to be able to travel on in this journey - it allows him to enjoy learning, be with children similar to him and receive a vitally important good education.
But what I do realise is that I will love him anyway whatever. For me he is the best son I could hope for - sensitive, caring, funny, intelligent, thirsty for learning. I am proud of him and wish I could say it more. But sadly I don't.
If the Grammars 'don't want him' then I certainly do!
And I suppose that is what matters ultimately for all of us - we need to love our kids unconditionally whatever, and believe in them.

Best wishes to everyone for 1st March.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:19 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:54 pm
Posts: 10
Wow, so well said. My sentiments exactly :-).

These last weeks have been a period of reflection for me also. I've started to truly count my blessings and have involved my daughter in counting her blessings also, so that we can truly put things into perspective if the 'Grammar School route' is not to be. We have love, we have our health, and she will get a good education if she is placed at our local Foundation school because she will work hard and strive for the best, and have our support behind her.

What has been most important for me these last few weeks is ensuring that my daughter knows, beforehand, how much I love her and how proud I am of her regardless of the outcome of these results.

Good luck to all


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:28 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 23
Location: Midlands
Yes, I think it is an important time for self reflection.

We are in the situation that our local state school are real DIRE, I am talking special measure, notice to improve levels of dire. Sadly because the only decent non selective school around here is a Catholic one, my daughter doesn't stand any chance of getting in anyway.

We had always talked about moving to Devon, and we knew that we didn't want our daughter to be sent to a secondary, only to move her mid phase.
Therefore we made the decision to put her in for the entrance exam for a wonderful school in Devon. We have decided to move in the summer this year. IF she has got in, then she is sorted. If she hasn't I am going to take my children and rent down there until my husband can get a job down there.

So here we are - a week away. I have made myself sick with worry. It didn't help that she came out of the maths exam and burst into tears saying it was too hard!!! She was a level 5 last year in maths at school, so I have no idea whether or not she is over reacting to maybe one or two questions that were tricky, or whether she just isn't suited to a selective education. What I do know is that it has totally consumed my life for the last 6 months and it makes me quite angry with myself to be honest.
When I see the pain and anguish of parents in Hati, and you hear stories about children losing their fight with terminal illnesses and God knows what other awful things, I feel shallow and pathetic for being so stressed and overwhelmed by which bloomin school my daughter gets given!!

I did not choose the school for their results, I chose it because of its ethos and discipline. Our local school is full of thugs, and my daughter still loves Lego. Bad times!
But we know that we are moving anyway, but if she doesn't get in then the whole stress of going to the LA down there with a rental agreement to prove address, and putting ourselves at their mercy will be the next thing. However, I keep telling myself that it is just a school, and they are all preferable to the option we would have if we stayed...so it is all good!!

I know I am certainly more bothered than she is, lol. I have found out that I will get told by email sometime after 4pm on the 1st. To be honest I am dreading it. My brother in law also finds out on the same day if he has passed his GP exam, and my sister said we could have a double celebration IF they both pass. I am thinking he has a very very good chance, and it would be a massive shock if he didnt pass - whereas my daughter it is much more 50/50. I feel selfish, but I can't say I will feel like celebrating if I am gutted for my daughter. I also don't want to buy a cake and whatever because I don't want to jinx it!
I feel like I just want to be on my own to digest the news, probably have a cry either way and compose myself. But the children will be at home, and if she doesn't get in then I don't want her to see me get upset because she will think it is her fault. Argh.
I have got to the point of thinking how wonderful she is and if they think she isn't good enough then they are missing out! She hasn't had private tuition week in week out, she is impecably behaved, so their loss. Ha ha. I am hoping that attitude will carry me through despair if need be. However, if she has got in I will sqeual with delight and flip out and no doubt all the worry would be forgotten.
Whatever happens I am so proud of her. Her determination, attitude, confidence and willingness to work hard will make her successful no matter what. She will always be a inspiration to me, because at her age I would have probably said I didn't want to do it. I was a lazy so and so. :-)


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:40 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2006 1:49 pm
Posts: 65
Nice words and very meaningful. As a father, I sit here, stressed out, going grey-er by the day.

Good luck to all and here's keeping fingers crossed.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:42 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:54 pm
Posts: 10
Hi Tracyhf1

I totally understand where you’re coming from. My emotions have been all over the place from confident, to uncertain, to doubtful, to unconvinced, back to positive then doubtful again, it never stops. To be honest I just want it all over. Is it just me or does it seem that the closer we get to D-day the slower time seems to be going. I was also making myself sick thinking about the looming results which is why I had to start looking at positives in my life before I went completely mad. It must be horrible to be in a situation where the other schools are so bad, so i’ll definitely say a little prayer and keep my fingers and toes crossed for you. I’m hoping that if my daughter doesn’t get into Grammar she gets into the Foundation School which I put as my third choice, but I think I have lessened my chances of getting her in, putting it as my third choice after the grammars, and this worries me slightly as I really don’t want to have to face going down the LA appeals route, I just don’t have the strength.

It’s really hard to gauge how well they did when they come out distressed saying “it was hardâ€


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:25 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2093
Location: Birmingham
Hello Trixystone

Please don't worry about putting the local school third - it does not in any way jeopardise her chances. The school does not know in what order it was placed. You are offered the highest choice school that you meet the criteria for, for example if you put a Grammar first and got a high enough score, you would be offered this. If you didn't but were within the amount of km required for your foundation school, you would certainly get that one - the fact that it was third makes no difference.

Tracy you are right that families suffer terribly throughout the world - through disasters, war etc. But we can only be positive and hopeful with what we have - our own kids and their relatively privileged position. We are doing the right thing by trying to get them the best education. After all, they can usually then go on to do more good in general. But in perspective, not every Grammar school child has done brilliantly in life, and not every Comprehensive school child has done terribly! Ultimately parents are more important that either, I think.

Still, please everyone share your experiences of this last week - and The Result!
I telephoned admissions today who said that I should receive The Email 'in the early hours on Monday (1st March) morning, some time after 00.01'.
They couldn't be more specific. So looks like I may be up all night then waiting for it!!! I hope it arrives OK and quickly. I'm not sure when to tell my son though - should I tell him in the morning or after school?..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:02 am
Posts: 14
Location: Birmingham
I agree with all that has been said. However well our children have done they are still lovely!!!!

I am in Worcestershire and I asked when the results are e-mailed out on 1 March. Apparently they come after 8am in Worcestershire - so looks like we are slower than Birmingham! I am told that the e-mail does not always come immediately because so many are sent at once, but it should be possible to log in and see the allocation on the website.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:16 pm
Posts: 56
I just had a go at logging in to Birmingham online admissions http://secondary-adm.bgfl.org:81/admissions/prefs.php - it gives a summary of the application and says "Please login and return to this page to view offers when allocations have been made. "

So I guess if the email doesn't arrive then you can always login and check.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:15 pm
Posts: 253
Location: Birmingham
Hi all,

Just to say I went through this process last year and I received an email about 12.10. Others I know waited till 1am and after so be prepared. This year texts are also being sent at the same time apparently as the emails.

Yes it is stressful and best diversion is to keep as busy as poss. very tempting, but fatal, to clock watch!!

um, as to when to tell him.. really up to you but if you can get him to sleep might be best to tell him in the morning. My thoughts are if it's not the news we want at least we have time to prepare what we tell our children.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:51 pm
Posts: 2237
Ours arrived about 12:20 as far as I remember, but I've heard of people getting them about an hour later.

Don't plan on getting any sleep afterwards either!

When did we tell ours? Ah, well, he woke up to go to the toilet at about 2.30am so we pounced immediately... :oops:

Mike


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