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 Post subject: Secondary School worries
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 10:33 am 
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My Ds will be starting an Camp Hill School for Boys in September. Initially he was very excited but as time is passing he's becoming more and more worried. The problem is that he is the only boy from his school going in September. He has some very good friends who will be going to the local comp and I think he now wishes he was going with them. He says he doesn't want to make new friends!!

Is there anyone else whose child has similar worries or who can come along with advice or reassurance?

Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 10:45 am 
Ask your ds present school how many went to kech over the past 2-3 years? If there are some boys who did, he may know them. There are only 2 from my ds year going to KECH. It's pure nerves at this stage.

My DS played his first competitive cricket match last night; bag of nerves, stomach cramps and turn the car round scenario. All fell on my deaf ears, he played the match, did well and can't wait for next week.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 10:56 am 
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Ah poor lad!

My son was in the same boat, only child from his school. On the open evening I did a bit of net working and found a couple of boys who lived near us but went to different schools. There were many 'single kids' coming on their own and we all linked up and had a day out just before they started. I am sure it will be the same at that school too.

Regardless of this-- I can assure you that within a day or two he has found some friends and has linked into a number of other established friendships at the school. He is absolutely loving it.

Please reassure your son that this will be the case for him as I am sure it will be.

I also asked that he be put in form with other 'onlys' which he was but to be honest there were 'onlys' in every form anyway. Perhaps you can do the same??

Good luck x


Last edited by TIDDLYMUM on Tue May 17, 2011 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:04 pm 
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If he knows no one else he will be in the majority. In our son's year the 93 Y7s came from (iirc) 77 primary schools; in his form 24 out of 31 were the only boy from their school. In many ways it's better that way - they are all thrown together and have to get to know each other. They start out with a lot in common (i.e. not knowing anyone and starting a new school!) so it's not really that difficult - it's not as if they're going somewhere everyone else knows each other.

Mike


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:21 pm 
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DenDe wrote:
. He has some very good friends who will be going to the local comp and I think he now wishes he was going with them. He says he doesn't want to make new friends!!

Is there anyone else whose child has similar worries or who can come along with advice or reassurance?

Thanks


All my dd's closest friends went to the local comp. When she started at her secondary she didnt know anyone in her class but took her time and now is friends with most of the class and socialises with some of them at the weekend. She keeps up with her old friends, this has been important for her but often she feels left out as she dosnt know who they are talking about from their school etc, but she has perservered and enjoys having the variety of friends that going to a different school to them has allowed her.

At first i know she wished she was with them at the comp but now she just loves all the opportunites her school offers her that she would not have been given at the comp, and she throws her self into these activites and is extremely positive about her school.

Your son will be fine. The experience will help him mature and it is good for our dc's to broaden their horizons. My dd feels that her old friends have not really moved on since primary as they still go to the school just down the road and know basically the same people they did at primary. I know she is proud that she has spread her wings and made new firends and been able to further her passions in a way she would not have done at the local school.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:26 pm 
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in DS's year, out of 112 boys ,. 35 were the only ones from their school - they really do get to know people quickly and make friends. Also find that, unless the group of friends spend loads of time together over the summer holidays, they tend to drift apart a little anyway.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:47 pm 
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Location: East Kent
My daughter was the only one from her primary in the class ( although there were others in the school) She was really worried, but by half term had made a lot of new friends and was really happy ( she still keeps in regular touch with several of them at 22)


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:52 pm 
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Thank you all for your replies. You have really underlined what I felt would be the case - that there will be lots of other children who are the only ones from their school. I have tried suggesting that but it isn't making him feel any better at the moment, he doesn't want new friends he wants the ones he's got!! :(

I think his worries about friendship are really part of the bigger worry about growing up, moving on etc which is quite understandable really. I don't know if it is also worrying him that his twin sister will be at a different school for the first time. (She isn't bothered in the slightest :lol: )

There are other children from years above his who are at C Hill so they will be on the bus together and I'm sure will look out for him.

I just hope he has a great time at induction so we don't have a struggle in the summer holiday.


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 12:55 pm 
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ooo tricky going to different school to twin too - used to be the case when there were more single gender schools :wink: Anyway - re the induction day - my vast experience (of 2) - leads me to believe that they make a huge effort for the kids to have a good time and be positive about the whole thing, they don't want them moping over the hols...


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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 2:41 pm 
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They'll be going in by the same gate in this case tho' so it's hardly like they're being torn apart and sent to opposite ends of the earth. Unless they're like our 2 and likely to end up pushing each other under bus if forced to wait at the same stop.

Mike


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