Go to navigation
It is currently Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:49 pm

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:10 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2093
Location: Birmingham
It has taken me a long time to write this, but I felt it had to be done, and that, coming from me as a Muslim myself, it would be better than a mod having to tackle it.

I feel that the Bham part of the EPE forum has become very cosy, with some regular posters supporting each other like friends - and that is absolutely great - but I really don't want to exclude other parents from joining, asking questions, and getting involved either.

Many parents here are Muslim and it has started to become common to use phrases, acronyms and vocabulary when posting, that only Muslims would actually understand.

C'mon guys, you know what I am saying :D

I feel it best if we stick to ensuring that all our posts are clearly accessible to all parents, (so no harm in writing God Willing in plain English when posting, but 'IA' makes little sense to many people) and that the forum is one of active discussion and support rather than new users feeling as if they have stumbled across private conversations.

I do have and practice a faith, but feel uncomfortable with some recent comments, for example on the faith of one Headteacher, which is his personal business only, and suggest that we stay 'on the straight and narrow' as it were.

Not one of us knows the results that we will open tomorrow night...although, happily, ok1 and Bacchuss have no need of them :D.
But there will be many parents visiting the forum, not just regular users, as they open their child's results on Thursday. Depending on the outcomes for their dc, they will be experiencing a range of emotions. I just wanted all of us to remember that too....


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:14 am
Posts: 530
Very well put Um :) .. Totally agree.

A friend of mine who doesn't follow any faith, often jokes that she prays for me through her 'Beer God' :lol:

We can all think about each other and say our prayers etc without mentioning any religion really.

Wishing everyone the best tomorrow as the clock strikes 12! ( I'm fully aware we may not all get to find out then... As the lovely lady from the LEA put it .."Please don't stay awake all night"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:15 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:42 pm
Posts: 987
Location: Birmingham
I largely agree with what um is trying to say and thank her for raising it so discreetly: that we should ensure that what we write is understandable to all who visit the forum, regularly or irregularly. It took me long enough to work out what DS (handheld game?), DH, DD etc meant, never mind iirc, btw and the rest! :D. So it might be best not to use much more as there many who visit the forum that do not contribute. Reference to other people's religion (as opposed to one's own) might also easily be misconstrued by another reader and cause unnecessary and unintended offence.

However, I see no harm in using terms from poster's own cultures / backgrounds / faiths as it adds a sense of a poster's personality - just please make sure that it is understandable to all. I found the 'ladoos' thread very amusing, even though I didn't realise what we were talking about until Reeyah gave her definition :roll: . And I enjoy JaneEyre's explanations about French metaphors. Just be aware that it would be a shame if anyone reading or wishing to contribute had to think twice before they did so.

See? If only NewsCorp had consulted EPE forum members about the value of self-regulation, we could have saved them losing NOTW, a lot of money and their reputation! Leeveson enquiry take note ..... Well, not sure that their reputation can be saved :D

Edit: just realised I used another acronym (News of the World) :oops:

_________________
UmSusu


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:50 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:37 pm
Posts: 87
I would like to endorse the sentiments above as well as add a few words.

A recent question my DS raised when faced with the new choices of societies available at grammar schools, where he was asking for advice on how best to tackle the issue of separate religious groups, so I gave him my own experience as a guide.

Whilst at university I was an active member of the Islamic society, I have led the prayers and several times given group speeches to students on Islam and its teachings. I must also add that at the same time I was also the vice president of the Hindu society, where I arranged many functions and stepped into main organiser role when the president was unavailable. I was also a member of the Sikh and Jewish societies, my house mate being a devout Sikh meant that around exam, both of us could be found nestled in the Ghudwara, with the customary ‘let me pass my exams and I promise to be good forever’ prayer. I have also been lucky to share Hanukkah celebrations with my Jewish friends. Sceptics amongst you at this point may be thinking that this is a clever strategy just to bag as many celebrations :shock: as possible in the year, and combining all, you certainly do, as the whole year becomes one long endless celebration. :lol: :lol:

After taking my son to the mosque for the first time, it was followed by a visit to my local church, the temple, ghudwara and synagogue, yet to add others but will due in due course. If I spend an hour on islam, then the same time is allocated to other religions, ask him something in islam and he will give you the answer for all religions, also have the Jehovah’s Witness aspect covered by our good friends next door. I have also explained the non religious viewpoints so DS has an understanding and appreciation for those who choose separate paths. Our hope is that he can stand up and argue the plus and minus points from any side and that is all that we can prepare him for.

I embraced all that was around me and hope DS not only does the same but takes it even further. The enrichment of life comes from the variety to which we are exposed, and we are very lucky to have such diversity at our doorstep and it would be a tragic shame if these opportunities were not grasped with both hands.

Best of luck :D
ok1


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:33 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:15 pm
Posts: 196
Location: Birmingham
Very well put Um, I feel I have learnt a little bit about Muslim culture through reading various posts from all sorts of different members which I have enjoyed and can only be a good thing. But you are right sometimes the language can make me feel as if I am a little 'on the outside' - I KNOW this is never the intention. The vibe of the Brum section is cosy and I value and enjoy the discussion, phylosophising and banter between us all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:28 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 12:04 pm
Posts: 2573
Dear Um,

I really thank you for raising this issue... and for pointing to me my involuntary solecism! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

The aim of that particular post was precisely to stress how I admire the British to try to be as fair as possible... and to tell how well received I have been when I came to KES! (quoting my conclusion: I had to put a few things straight concerning JC and the administration at KES, as I have found them extremely polite and warm) :D


And please have a look at my agreement with ok1 on another thread about how warm and friendly I found a particular person!
viewtopic.php?f=31&t=24303&p=286915&hilit=boarding+school+in+France#p286915

So I didn’t intent at all to hurt anyone! And I do deeply regret mentioning something I shouldn't have mentioned as it has caused unnecessary and unintended offence.

As for being inclusive, this is really what I was trying to do when I finished one of my former message by writing salam/shalom/peace/ kind regards to try to include as many faiths as possible as I was feeling I was beginning to use Arabic terms. Don’t forget that I hardly sleep since the day I opened that dreadful KES letter :( .
I have to add that I regret not to have been able to be inclusive enough as I don't know yet the proper words to include Sikhs, Hindus, or any people from any other religion. I do apologise to any person I could have offended by the limits of my knowledge.

I really feel extremely sorry, now that I realise that I appeared impolite.
As I am sure some poster on this thread about learning German versus Spanish didn’t see he/she had been impolite.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=24096&start=30

I suspect the poster to be German , and like me, not mastering all the British etiquette.
I would like to quote the page about customs and etiquette in Germany from a touristic guide for Germany (Let’s go Germany on a budget – editor: Stephanie O’Rourke – page 67)
Although Germans may seem reserved or even unfriendly, they are not as standoffish as they may first appear. Germans are very frank and will not hesitate to show disapproval. To the uninitiated this may come across as confrontational, but it stems mostly from honesty. Many Germans consider effusive chumminess insincere, and Americans are often perceived as disingenuous for being overly friendly.

I have quoted this book just to show how intercultural relations usually involve misunderstanding at some point as each person has been marked by his own culture.

For the last time on this forum, I’ll quote again a French thinker: ( I don’t know yet well enough British philosophy to quote British philosopher. Do pardon me the limits of my knowledge).
Vérité en deçà des Pyrénées, erreur au-delà.
Blaise Pascal

Translation :
truth on this side of the Pyrenees, error on the other.

So what is considered to be true/proper/correct in France is considered to be wrong in Spain.

We are all brother and sisters in this earth.

But inevitably, due to all our different upbringing, culture, limited knowledge, we all do faux pas, even when we try desperately to avoid them!

I sincerely apologise for the ones I did without being aware of them...

And I will as quickly as possible write a little card to apologise to the kind, warm and amazing person who chose very appropriately the card he sent to my DS.
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:38 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:42 pm
Posts: 987
Location: Birmingham
JaneEyre, you have really not done anything to apologise for. What you meant was clearly understood, especially to those of us who follow your posts. And no, you don't need to go and learn all the alternatives in other languages too before you use an expression that is not English. I think there was just some concern that someone unfamiliar to the forum might misunderstand what was being said when you innocently refer to someone else's religion

You just carry on being your lovely self :D . And please don't feel that you are obliged to answer each pm individually as you obviously received quite a few - we were just concerned about you.

_________________
UmSusu


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:47 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
Posts: 2093
Location: Birmingham
The post was not intended for any individual at all, JaneEyre, just a very general point - that was all, and I hope I have not caused any anxiety to anyone through it.

:D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:47 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 12:04 pm
Posts: 2573
Thank you umsusu,

Your message cheered me up as usual, as I really feel tonight that I unintentionally commited a serious offence! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

I think that we all need to go to sleep as the Birmigham LEA won't update us tonight.

Good night everybody. sleep tight! :wink:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being inclusive
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:55 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 12:04 pm
Posts: 2573
Dear um,

thank you for what you have done. You did cause some anxiety in me as I am always careful to try to my best ability not to offend anyone.

And thank you for teaching me a new idiom today! to stay on the straight and narrow :D

Good night. And hoping that you will announce to all of us tomorrow that your DS2 made it into his first choice! :wink:


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: mum1115 and 5 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016