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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:06 am 
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Hi, I have twin Ds's who have been offered places at KES. One prefers KEFW (his view today:) even though he got a scholarship to KES, the other prefers KES.

They have been in same 1 form entry primary school and now of course could separate.
So to all twins parents:
Is is okay to be both at KES (or KEFW) and in different forms, ie does this provide enough separation?

or is it better to have one at KEFW and the other at KES (or will they think later that one had preferential treatment?

They are involved in the decision making.

Also in term of logistics, do any of you have DC in both schools at same time and does this make it more difficult from parents standpoint?

Obviously this is assuming we get offers for KEFW.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:16 am 
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I have twin boys at KEFW in year 7. They too have been in same class for first five years of schooling. Treated very much as individuals at KEFW. May I suggest you wait for the results tomorrow and if one or hopefully both get offered a place, you can Pm me. What a lovely dilemma you may have. Good luck to you and everyone waiting for results - I remember it like it was yesterday - very stressful but we had the double outcome we wanted. Koala


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:42 am 
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I have twin DD DS in Year 7 at CH Boys and CH Girls. They were previously in a one form entry school so had never been separated. I must say they have thrived on being apart and it has made it easier for us in terms of parents' evenings to have them at different schools. Your situation is slightly different though. I think if I had the same sex twins with identical offers I might want to encourage them to take the same offer to avoid recriminations at a later stage. As I am typing this, though, I am also thinking that twins should be treated as individuals not as a package so you should listen to their preferences. (So actually I have been no help at al. Sorry! :oops: )


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:04 pm 
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DenDe wrote:
I have twin DD DS in Year 7 at CH Boys and CH Girls. They were previously in a one form entry school so had never been separated. I must say they have thrived on being apart and it has made it easier for us in terms of parents' evenings to have them at different schools. Your situation is slightly different though. I think if I had the same gender twins with identical offers I might want to encourage them to take the same offer to avoid recriminations at a later stage. As I am typing this, though, I am also thinking that twins should be treated as individuals not as a package so you should listen to their preferences. (So actually I have been no help at al. Sorry! :oops: )


Hence my dilemma, If I listen to their preferences then they will be at different schools (assuming we get that choice). Also CH boys and CH girls are next to each other so I'd say that was ideal.

My other factor is that I work very near KES and so I may end up having more time with KES DS after school etc,

DS's realise the hard decisions and are actually saying now that they hope they don't get the GS offers!

Koala: I think I am okay with twins being at same school being treated as individuals if they are in different forms and will PM you after results.

Our DS's first choice on the LEA was KEFW so my initial ideal solution would be to have offers for both from there but KES has muddied things for us.

Am sure they will thrive at any of these schools but also considering the impact on me (main transport).


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:11 pm 
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Hi, congratulations to both of your boys for obtaining places at KES. Obviously much will depend on the results tomorrow in terms of any dilemma.

I too have twin ds's, and would have loved to have been in a similar situation, but whilst one attends KES with an assisted place, the other recently started at our catchment high school. They are poles apart academically, so one did not sit the 11+, and I can't deny having feelings of guilt in that one is getting a much better education. We are not in a financial position to consider a private education for my other son, but tbh he is doing very well at his new school and is above all happy!

They were separated in year 7, and I can honestly say it has been really good for both of them. I look back and feel it must have been very difficult for my less academic ds being in his brothers shadow, although obviously your twins are similar in their ability.


I remember when they came out of school together for the last time, it broke my heart, but I have made the best decisions for each one, and treated them as individuals and I'm sure they will respect this when they are older. Just because one attends KES, doesn't make him or his education any more important, we support both the twins and my younger ds equally. If I had been given a £1 for each time I was asked doesn't ---- feel left out I would have enough for a decent holiday!


If you do have a dilemma, my advice would be the obvious to take them round the schools again to see them on a working day. Get them to write the plus points and minus points for each school etc. Letting them make an informed choice, should prevent any future resentment. (hopefully)!

I wish you the very best of luck both with the results tomorrow and any resulting difficult decisions. If you wish to pm me re our experiences with KES then please do.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:32 pm 
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mommyjo wrote:
Hi, congratulations to both of your boys for obtaining places at KES. Obviously much will depend on the results tomorrow in terms of any dilemma.

I too have twin ds's, and would have loved to have been in a similar situation, but whilst one attends KES with an assisted place, the other recently started at our catchment high school. They are poles apart academically, so one did not sit the 11+, and I can't deny having feelings of guilt in that one is getting a much better education. We are not in a financial position to consider a private education for my other son, but tbh he is doing very well at his new school and is above all happy!

They were separated in year 7, and I can honestly say it has been really good for both of them. I look back and feel it must have been very difficult for my less academic ds being in his brothers shadow, although obviously your twins are similar in their ability.


I remember when they came out of school together for the last time, it broke my heart, but I have made the best decisions for each one, and treated them as individuals and I'm sure they will respect this when they are older. Just because one attends KES, doesn't make him or his education any more important, we support both the twins and my younger ds equally. If I had been given a £1 for each time I was asked doesn't ---- feel left out I would have enough for a decent holiday!


If you do have a dilemma, my advice would be the obvious to take them round the schools again to see them on a working day. Get them to write the plus points and minus points for each school etc. Giving them an informed choice should prevent any future resentment. (hopefully)!


Thanks. I have just taken them round each school on a normal day and will be making them do a pro/con list

They are academically different (one slightly less maths able than the other but makes up for it in creativity)and also potentially one needs the other more than the other way round. The DS who got the scholarship offer at KES is perfectly happy to be at KEFW if he gets the choice whilst I suspect the other DS might feel better if he was at KES with him. We need to be fair to both needs.

I am heartened to hear that there are other parents in similar situations. Also when we started this journey I started with an assumption that only one of my twins had a chance of passing the 11+ so empathise with the situation you are in but as you demonstrate, we do the best we can for our kids which will help them wherever they may end up.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:53 pm 
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My Father was one of 3 sets of twins. They all went to indies.

His older brothers went to the same school. They were both very bright. They developed a constant rivalry and pupils and teachers kept comparing them to each other. They hated it.

His older Sisters went to the same school and loved it. They were in different forms and the teachers treated them as individuals. Even though they often irked each other before, they came out of secondary school closer as Sisters.

Dad and his twin Sister had to go to separate schools as the choices were all single gender. At first they thought this a terrible deprivation (they were not irked by each other like the other 2 pairs) but after a term or 2, realised they were becoming more themselves rather than one of a pair.

My DH's Mother and her twin went to the same school and were in the same form. They got on well together, but she says they were constantly lumped together.

My Mum and her twin Brother were at different schools because of the single gender issue. They did very well, but Grandpa had always been very clear about treating them as individuals from the word go. They had no separation issues.

So, I think it depends very much on their relationship as twins and on the way the particular school treats them. In particular, being in different forms is important so that they are individuals.

I remember once last year I asked a pupil if anyone was still in the cloakroom. He said "Oh, there's just those little twin things." :shock:


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 1:55 pm 
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Location: West Yorks
aargh that is a lot of twins for one family! :shock:

_________________
Vic x


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:05 pm 
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Yeh. All non-identical
We were rather surprised not to have any ourselves.
Just single DD and single DS.

The Aunt who had children had 2 sets of twins.
She was living in Africa at the time and sadly the second twins were premature. They had to drive 200 miles to the hospital over dirt tracks and the hospital had only one supply of oxygen. She had to choose which twin would get the incubation. I cannot imagine what that must have been like. It was clear that the girl was far stronger and more likely to survive. My cousin says it has always felt strange to grow up without her Brother, and think that it might have been the other way round.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:05 pm 
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Both my husband and I are twins (to different siblings!). Our cases are different.

My DH and his twin are non-identical and went to different senior schools. One went to university and followed an academic route. My DS went to a good comprehensive, and had a more vocational career.

My sister and I are identical twins. We were in different classes in the junior school but the same for senior school. A mistake! It was nice for us but the teachers never told us part. In the sixth form, we asked to be in different form classes and went to different unis (much to the amazement of school friends). It was useful as we could help each other revise for tests etc, but I feel that on reflection, being in different classes would have developed us more us individuals.


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