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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:13 am
Posts: 112
Hi all,
I'm after some advice and a bit of reassurance!!!
Ds is in yr 5, August baby so still 9. He is a bright boy and has always been top group for everything since yr 1.... He has talked about KE for a while and we never really pushed it until this yr. he said he wanted to go so we stared tutoring at home and he sees a tutor for one session a week. He's getting level 5s all round and thriving at school but he is having a major wobble about the whole 11 plus and potentially going to KE, he is one of I think 4 boys from his school taking the exam. He goes to an average state primary and 11 plus has never been on the agenda. He is getting upset about leaving his friends and generally miserable whenever we ask him to do any practise. His tutor said since starting he has come on great and his primary teacher says she has noticed a improvement academically. But after yesterdays tutoring she said he didn't seem with it and made lots of silly and unexpected mistakes. I'm at a loss as I feel we have come to far to let him give up the chance( I know we would regret it later ), I even thought maybe he's getting stuff wrong on purpose so we think he's not up to it and pull him from the test!!!
Our local comp is ok with a good gifted and talented programme and he would see his friends, but I have explained to Ds that the school streams the pupils so he may not even be with said friends.
Is it normal for dc to behave like this he's just so young and I don't want him worrying and stressing for the next few months. Should I just ignore the lack of interest and just plod on and hope he comes out of it. I'm hoping a visit to the school might bring the enthusiasm back!!!
Any ideas, advice suggestions greatly appreciated
Lottie


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 4:21 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:34 pm
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I suspect a visit to the school might help with motivation but I don't think many children will have a lot of motivation to do much with this hot weather. My ds is distinctly underwhelmed with everything at the moment. I am thinking to not press too much while it is hot and pick up the pace again nearer to the exam.


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 8:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:14 am
Posts: 530
Don't panic Lottie78, this is normal behaviour, even for the ones who want to go to KE! My DS used make such a fuss over every single paper and I rem thinking this is all just not worth the effort! Give it a few weeks, if he is still very obviously unhappy, just tell he can sit the test and still decide afterwards. Really feel for u, he seems soo little!


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:42 pm
Posts: 989
Location: Birmingham
I echo what reeyah and DC17C say - it is very normal, especially now that the 2012 candidates have started talking more openly about the exam as it approaches. It is a very daunting thought for some of them, they start to realise that there is a chance that they might not even 'pass' and separation from friends may be a difficult idea for them. Although my eldest two sons were often meeting up with their friends after school, I doubt either of them would have been upset for long at the idea of parting with their friends earlier on in primary school, it was only at the end of Year 4 and Year 5 that they built stronger bonds with them. So it is natural that they might not want to part with them now.

DS1 is the only one from his primary school going to his secondary school and it is daunting: the only thing I keep telling him is that as the friends live locally, he can still keep in touch with them. Besides, I remember I insisted to go to the local comp with my friends, instead of the indie my father was prepared to pay for............... guess what? I was put in a different class from most of them, ended up in higher sets than the ones I was in class with and couldn't stand any of them by the end of the year anyway! :roll:

Hopefully, it will pass. Give him a week off work, let him enjoy the sun while it is out, maybe plan an outing at the weekend. I hit a big bump with DS1 2 months before the exam and followed this advice - it took a couple of weeks, but he did come round in the end.

UmSusu

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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:13 am
Posts: 112
Hi all,
Thanks for the advice and reassurance!
We've had another chat and settled on a few things. I'm still hoping the look around the schools will spur him on. It's just such a lot for him to take on board, he's very sensitive and gets upset when we talk about leaving his friends.. I'm not going to mention anything for awhile a just give him bits and pieces of work to do and see how we go!
Thanks again
Lottie


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