Bullying..!

[reeyah]

Hi all

I thought I'd make a separate post for my dilemma and not make the y7 post all doom and gloom!

DS is on high dose steroids and chemo, and has consequently put on a lot of weight . He has come home on many occasions saying boys ( especially older ones!) have called him names. One even proceeded to poke his face. I haven't said anything to the teachers, as DS doesn't seem particularly upset, but I fear he may be hiding his true feelings from me! Shame on the boys at KEAS who have taken the mick out of a poorly child

What should I do?! Tell the teachers?? Forget it, as this is the norm?! Help!!

Thank u! Rant over

[Paramjeet]

Make an appointment to see the year 7 head; he she will have experience on this matter. Maybe done without son knowing in the first instance.

[Turtlegirl]

Advice at our primary school is that the child should instigate the complaint as this puts power back into their hands against the bullies. My daughter had a problem with some teasing and ended up writing a letter to her teacher who was then able to address the problem.

But if he's not wanting to do anything about it just now, I agree that seeing the Yr7 head would be a good start.

[hermanmunster]

I have known schools where a kid is on chemo and steroids and a letter has been sent to all parents (via the kids) highlighting that there is a kid undergoing treatment and parents to be extra aware re infections diseases etc etc -

this can have the effect of the people being more aware of why a child looks "different" at the moment..

TBH kids at KEAS ought to be intelligent enough to be able to work out that making comments about someone's appearance is unacceptable

[reeyah]

Thank you all for your suggestions

I emailed his form teacher last night, and she has replied promptly and seems very concerned. I hope we can resolve this.

HM, DH said the same thing as you.. he would have thought a Grammar School pupil would know better. An odd comment here and there is just children for you, but to be unable to even walk around the school with random older boys poking fun is unacceptable, and certainly not something I envisaged at KEAS.

Thank u again for your replies

[scary mum]

I hope you manage to sort this out satisfactorily Reeyah. Sadly grammar schools, private schools etc are no more immune to bullying than anywhere else. My family knows this to our cost already . If the school doesn't act to your satisfaction please keep on at them. We had to move DD due to a very weak initial repsonse from the school which prolonged the unpleasantness and switched DD off school completely for a while. Happily she has blossomed now, but it was touch and go for a while. Other children can be very cruel, even if they don't mean to be. Good luck.

[um]

I would have spoken to the form tutor as soon as just one comment was noted - this just isn't acceptable and the boys who have taken part need to be taught that clearly.

Yes, it would be ideal if your ds had raised the complaint immediately himself, but he is only 11, he has just started a new school, and he is dealing with ill health, so I would go ahead and act on his behalf to get this matter sorted.

Thankfully the form teacher has rightly taken this seriously and any boys who have verbally hurt (or physically poked at!) your ds should receive sanctions against them.

People who judge and jeer at others because of perceived differences are the worst kind of ignorant and self centred people in my opinion.
I would rather my own sons be brought home by police for shoplifting than to have behaved like this toward someone and hurt their feelings (I am not condoning theft here though!).

Your son deserves to feel safe and comfortable at school, and it is in the 'bullies' interests to be taught a clear lesson that their behaviour was and is unacceptable.

[Fran17]

I think you have done the right thing in contacting the school. This sort of dreadful behaviour, particularly from olders boys, is unacceptable. I hope it is resolved quickly.

[equation]

Coincidentally, we just found out that one of our friend's dd was being bullied at KECHG. The dd wanted to deal with it herself & thankfully she managed to. Unfortunately bullying is still very commonplace in our schools including at GS (you have children from a diverse background; intelligence is one thing but instilled common sense - or a lack of it - is another).

[DIY Mum]

Reeyah, this is a horrible experience to go through.
Unfortunately, it's human nature: saddest and lowest form of character. But it happens in all types of schools (think Lord of the flies...public school boys in the choir!).

A lot matters on how the school deals with it (really impressed with these boys). When my dd1 was at primary, she was also bullied and the staff were quite feeble in their response. So were her parents. They couldn't imagine that their 'angel' would kick her under the chair, instigate b****y whisperings amongst her 'friends' and isolate her in the playground... In the end, I had to pull her out.
But I'm sure his teacher will nip it in the bud. Last year, a boy was 'beaten up' in his first week of starting school and the staff assuredly dealt with it. I sometimes collect ds2, this boy and 3 others from the GB to drop off home and I know this boy is very happy and settled in KEA since then.