How do you find the energy to do it all again?
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Re: How do you find the energy to do it all again?
Hi I was reading this through, sympathising with Wolvesmum and thinking oh my I'm probably going to have to start thinking about all this again as DD2 enters Y5 this September.
I also have little fish (scored 213 on 2014 KE consortium exam and probably just missed the boat for KEFW/ KECHG - the only schools she was interested in). Small fry (DD2) is a bit ahead of where little fish was in Y4 and is 'more together' as a person.
For me it's easier because small fry doesn't have the pressure to 'get in like her sister' - but oddly enough she's feeling a bit pressured from her peer group - many in her Y4 class are already starting with tutors.
I've nothing against tutors personally, but don't want to make things too intense for small fry and also (possibly foolishly) hope that when they say the test is tutor proof they mean it. So (again possibly foolishly) I'm thinking good quality reading material, lots of boggle/ scrabble/ banangrams, good old fashioned 10 minute bonds at first and progressively getting more intense as summer before Y6 approaches.
If others out there agree that Y4 is a bit early to get too serious about this - please reassure me. The pitying looks I get at work/ at school because little fish clearly isn't going to make the cut for KEFW/ KECHG are wearing me down.
I also have little fish (scored 213 on 2014 KE consortium exam and probably just missed the boat for KEFW/ KECHG - the only schools she was interested in). Small fry (DD2) is a bit ahead of where little fish was in Y4 and is 'more together' as a person.
For me it's easier because small fry doesn't have the pressure to 'get in like her sister' - but oddly enough she's feeling a bit pressured from her peer group - many in her Y4 class are already starting with tutors.
I've nothing against tutors personally, but don't want to make things too intense for small fry and also (possibly foolishly) hope that when they say the test is tutor proof they mean it. So (again possibly foolishly) I'm thinking good quality reading material, lots of boggle/ scrabble/ banangrams, good old fashioned 10 minute bonds at first and progressively getting more intense as summer before Y6 approaches.
If others out there agree that Y4 is a bit early to get too serious about this - please reassure me. The pitying looks I get at work/ at school because little fish clearly isn't going to make the cut for KEFW/ KECHG are wearing me down.
Re: How do you find the energy to do it all again?
Oldtrout,
One thing that makes this whole process unworthy is this. Who got in, who didn't, and if they didn't then why not? In a year's time, this will all seem pointless, like with everything else.
When this fear of the future 'what if dd doesn't get in' occupies my mind, then I have to tell myself that we are both doing this for her and ourselves and not for anyone else. So I don't give a damn about what they think.
I also remind myself that ' if this can bother me being an adult, how much would it bother dd'. Then I find myself filled with the protectiveness that I am not going to let this make my little one feel like she has 'failed'. That is enough for me to pull myself together.
From your posts, you are obviously a very balanced person. But we are all human and we all ought to have moments of 'less than positive' emotions.
It is never too early to be laying down the foundations for a good educational life but a more focussed work only needs to be later on. Otherwise, both the children and the parents peak too early and burn out.
Lots of wishes for you and your dd. I am more than sure that this process will have brought you both closer.
One thing that makes this whole process unworthy is this. Who got in, who didn't, and if they didn't then why not? In a year's time, this will all seem pointless, like with everything else.
When this fear of the future 'what if dd doesn't get in' occupies my mind, then I have to tell myself that we are both doing this for her and ourselves and not for anyone else. So I don't give a damn about what they think.
I also remind myself that ' if this can bother me being an adult, how much would it bother dd'. Then I find myself filled with the protectiveness that I am not going to let this make my little one feel like she has 'failed'. That is enough for me to pull myself together.
From your posts, you are obviously a very balanced person. But we are all human and we all ought to have moments of 'less than positive' emotions.
It is never too early to be laying down the foundations for a good educational life but a more focussed work only needs to be later on. Otherwise, both the children and the parents peak too early and burn out.
Lots of wishes for you and your dd. I am more than sure that this process will have brought you both closer.
Re: How do you find the energy to do it all again?
Hi OldTrout
I can make you feel even worse if you like : I know of people, only a few though, who have started in Year 3; my neighbour started in Year 2. I also know a parent that decided at primary school that their son was going to be a doctor . The point is there are all sorts of parenting out there and you should stick with your instincts - especially if she is already doing well.
I started in Year 5 with both of my children. DIY. If I am frank, I wish I had started work with DS1 in Year 4 as he had a lot of gaps in maths and it took a lot of time and stress dealing with them in Year 5. If I had started earlier it would have been gentler. I am not sure if it would have affected the outcome by a great deal but it would have saved some of my sanity and been less intense for him. Year 5 was probably right for DS2 as he was always more academically able. With him I wish I had begun things at the beginning of year 5 rather than after his brother had sat his Indie exams in the February.
I would say Year 4 is the perfect time to lay the foundations by addressing any gaps and encouraging them to be more adventurous in what they read. I think it is the time to be looking ahead at where you will need to be but it doesn't necessarily need assessment papers or be called 'tuition for grammar school'.
If the child is doing well then the games you suggest are perfect.
I can make you feel even worse if you like : I know of people, only a few though, who have started in Year 3; my neighbour started in Year 2. I also know a parent that decided at primary school that their son was going to be a doctor . The point is there are all sorts of parenting out there and you should stick with your instincts - especially if she is already doing well.
I started in Year 5 with both of my children. DIY. If I am frank, I wish I had started work with DS1 in Year 4 as he had a lot of gaps in maths and it took a lot of time and stress dealing with them in Year 5. If I had started earlier it would have been gentler. I am not sure if it would have affected the outcome by a great deal but it would have saved some of my sanity and been less intense for him. Year 5 was probably right for DS2 as he was always more academically able. With him I wish I had begun things at the beginning of year 5 rather than after his brother had sat his Indie exams in the February.
I would say Year 4 is the perfect time to lay the foundations by addressing any gaps and encouraging them to be more adventurous in what they read. I think it is the time to be looking ahead at where you will need to be but it doesn't necessarily need assessment papers or be called 'tuition for grammar school'.
If the child is doing well then the games you suggest are perfect.
UmSusu
Re: How do you find the energy to do it all again?
Thanks wildwest & UmSusu
definitely having a wobble - but have also come round to doing what works for us (kids personalities/ our budget/ our busy lives) and what allows small fry (DD2) time for her interests (small fry very musical). Also know my small fry doesn't like work/ work/ work - like DD1 (little fish) she's happiest when practice (for whatever it might be) is little and often.
So have decided (also after chatting with DH) to stick to similar approach to last time.
However, I know I'm curious - so I'll let you know what we've been doing & how it all turns out.
So far not doing a lot - just encouraging good book selection. Small fry (age has to be told to turn out her light and go to bed, she adores reading in bed.
Thanks all.
definitely having a wobble - but have also come round to doing what works for us (kids personalities/ our budget/ our busy lives) and what allows small fry (DD2) time for her interests (small fry very musical). Also know my small fry doesn't like work/ work/ work - like DD1 (little fish) she's happiest when practice (for whatever it might be) is little and often.
So have decided (also after chatting with DH) to stick to similar approach to last time.
However, I know I'm curious - so I'll let you know what we've been doing & how it all turns out.
So far not doing a lot - just encouraging good book selection. Small fry (age has to be told to turn out her light and go to bed, she adores reading in bed.
Thanks all.
Re: How do you find the energy to do it all again?
not sure why I got shaded smiley
meant to say (age eight)
meant to say (age eight)