Would you let your child decide?

[HappyRobot]

I know this has been posted before, but always interested in what "new" parents and "old" have to say.

Would you let your child decide what school s/he goes to, presuming that they have lots of offers on the table and they want to go to one specific school.

[Smudger]

I wouldn't let child decide outright - but I would certainly take their thoughts into account and reach a joint decision. If they felt really strongly about a particular school I would consider the basis for this and, if valid, go with it!

[muminbrum]

Only if the choice was between two school of equal merit, and in that I include ease of travel etc. as well as academic issues.

We had this between KEA and BV and ds2 had a strong preference while as an adult I can see there are pros and cons for both but neither is a clear winner. We went with his choice as he will be the one attending. We also struggled to decide where to rank HGS relative to the UOB new school and again we consulted with him as it wasn't clear cut. It does depend on the child though, DS2 is a very sensible and practically minded child so gets why commute time etc. are important, DS1 would have just picked wherever he thought his friends might go!

[sbarnes]

Not me, child is 10, what input can they possibly have at that age? Maybe just check after an open evening, that's about it.

[Peridot]

I think the child's view should certainly be taken into account (don't want to have to drag them there kicking and screaming) but ultimately we are the adults and hopefully have a less prejudiced, more experienced and longer-sighted view of education so we should be making the decision. These are 10-year-olds, as sbarnes said, and we are... err... a bit older and wiser.

[Happy dad]

Give them the impression they have decided but in reality no. Ds1 was adamant he wanted to go to BV even when KEFW was offered. He was given some research to do and then told to go away and come back and tell us why KEFW was the best choice.

[Tinkers]

It depends on the child to some extent. If a child is mature to have a sensible discussion about their reasons for wanting to go to a particular school (not just the standard ' all my friends are going' ), then I think they are mature enough to have a say in Where they go to school. They are the ones who have to go everyday.

However I'm sure there are some children, that despite being bright are not necessarily mature, and the parents need to make the decision.

The deal we made with DD before we started looking was we wouldn't let her choose a school we didn't like, but we wouldn't send her to a school she really didn't like. Ultimately it wasn't an issue, but the three of us had all agreed on what we felt was important to us beforehand.

[Fatnorville]

DS chose between #1 and #2 preferences, and appreciated that other GS would not be options due to the commute time. Parents chose the backups. When the choice boiled down to several equally good schools, all of commutable distance, his choice was relatively risk free.
Oddly enough his choices didn't mirror my own. However having discussed the options, I was proud of his conviction in choosing school #1 over #2.

[shakey]

For some strange reason this thread reminds me of a quote from the late, great Football Manager Brian Clough.
On disagreements with players: “We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right.”

[HappyRobot]

Love the Brian Clough quote and agree parents should make the decision.