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PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:12 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:38 am
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Location: West Midlands / warks border
Our DD will be doing 11+ in September. She is a bright girl and is capable of passing the 11+.

However, she has had a total meltdown and has completely lost all confidence which is seriously hampering her efforts.

He brother is at KEFW and she feels under so much pressure to get there that her performance is being effected.

She has done all 4 mocks with Shirley company. Her third one was excellent, but two and four were a lot lower and this has also dented her confidence.

We have tried to tell her it doesn't matter and that she can only do her best, but i don't think it's helping. She's got it in her head that she can't do it.

Any advice would be much appreciated.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
It is really really hard for siblings who have to battle to secure the same place. Sometimes as in the case of Latymer and other schools the exam format has completely changed, so a different pressure. Stop doing the mocks and just do some gentle easy stuff to build up her confidence.

It is full of ups and downs and this is just a down that you need to work through and get to the other side.

Plan a lovely treat that she will enjoy and don't give up. There is still time for it to all come together. DG


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 10:39 pm 
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It is a long summer and difficult to keep up the momentum.Your dd has been working hard she has taken four mocks which are four more than the majority of children.I would suggest a few days of enjoyment(which is hard for the parent) and to build up the confidence a lot of easy papers and then just work on her weaknesses.I would also be only doing papers in the style of the exam.Similar advice to the last post.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 8:20 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 9:14 am
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This happened to our dd 3 years ago. She also had a blip with her mock after two very decent results and then lost her confidence.
We had a full week off with NO talk of the 11+ whatsoever. Then we did some easy papers 8-9 papers!!, then quickly moved onto 9-10 then slowly onto 10-11. Didn't dare go near the 11-12 papers. Her confidence went uphill fairly quickly and she got into first choice school with 240+.
I think the moral of the story is to lay off a bit as a dp- being nervous and anxious - as your name suggests, if you don't mind me saying- never helps.
So relax and take a break for a few days and then resume.
I'm sure it'll work out in the end - particularly if she's had some excellent scores with the k**l mock.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:38 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:38 am
Posts: 1043
Location: West Midlands / warks border
Thanks for your replies.

Bob, my DH said the same thing, my nervousness is passing onto her :roll:

We had a chat last night and she seems happier this morning.

She just come in laughing because McCarthy and Stone have sent me a leaflet!!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2012 11:02 pm
Posts: 223
Yes do give her a little break.

If she's as smart as her brother, she'll be fine.

She needs to think positively, and I guess you can help her there and remind her that she is very capable and she just needs to do her best.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 8:48 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 9:14 am
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K**L say that the 4th mock is usually harder than the real test using feedback from hundreds of dc over the last few years. In fact over 62% in the July mock should mean, ON AVERAGE, they have a good chance of gaining a GS place.
I hope things are improving with your dd.
The only one who's having a meltdown in our household is me!! I think we forget that it's not the end of the world if our dc don't gain a GS place and it's certainly shouldn't be the be all end all. Hard to comprehend this at this somewhat stressful time but something we should all bear in mind I suppose.
All the best- just over 4 weeks to go then it's all over for us!!!!


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