after school arrangements in grammar schools

[savin]

dear parents,
i am new to the grammar school/secondary school system.
as a full time working mother, i was concerned that the seondary grammer schools expect the children to normally leave the school premises by 3.25 - 4 pm either by public transport/school bus or walk to home. this is to me concerning as this leaves most working families allowing a child under 16 ( the year 7s will be 11-12) alone at home until 5.30 - 6 pm ( assuming a commute time of 30 in) when the parents can come home.
whilst i was told by one of the deputy heads that it is inevitable that parents have to take a leap of faith in terms of giving their children more independence, i am worried that aged 11 years my child will be vulnerable to a lot of risks ( we dont live in a utopian society )
i am concerned that this also,by default, discriminates against working mothers who then have to rely on friends and families to help ( a position of compromise) or choose to give a level of independence that may put a 11 year old at risk ( and it will be the parents held responsible should something go wrong!)
i truly believe this is a systemic discrimination against working families, particularly working women, one that can be easily corrected by the responsible authorities ( city councils and school boards) by allowing children to stay in the school premises until 6 pm ( like primary schools do). this does not have to have intense supervision and can be built as a independent provision like in some primary schools.
am i alone in these thoughts, and do any of you have ideas on how this can be addressed?

[scary mum]

Many people keep a childminder on for the first year of senior school, but you will find that your DC quickly grows up once they are at senior school & you won't be so concerned. There are often after school clubs and many schools have a homework club or allow children to stay in the library to work.
No, I don't think it's discrimination, it's just life, and it's always been the same way. No primary schools around here are open until 6, or the weren't when mine were that age, they close at 3 or 3.30.

[quasimodo]

I am aware at WGHS children can be dropped off at school at 8.00 am and can stay in school in the library or after school clubs until 5.00 pm Monday to Thursday and 4.30 pm on Fridays.

At QM boys I believe they can go in as early as 7.30 am from reading on this forum and I see boys and girls leaving the school after 5pm regularly,certainly their RAF and Army cadets on a Friday are hovering around the outside of the school past 5.00pm. I think most Grammar schools have similar flexibility.

[kenyancowgirl]

As quasi says, most schools (Grammar or not) have facilities to allow students to stay on site until at least 5pm (in the library working quietly) or later, if they are involved with an extra curricular activity (for example, sports clubs at our school go on till 5.30pm most nights). Buses at the end of the day (or trains) are usually full of school children and there is an element of safety in numbers.

Currently you are looking at your Y6 child and they are still your "baby". It is hard to imagine them going off and being more independent but, the same issues you worry about at night are there on public transport in the day, in reality, and you as a parent have a year to help him get used to the journey and learning what he needs to know. Y6-7 is probably the biggest jump in terms of "growing up" that a child does - they want that independence and you can help them with it in a protective and managed way.

My boys very quickly learned that if they got home before me, that was the time to raid the snack cupboard, get a drink, have a shower and then start on their homework so that family life/chilling time could happen when I was at home.

[helen0209]

I understand your concerns, but as others have mentioned there are a lot of after school clubs which finish around 17:00, and many allow them to work in the library after school. Even when DS doesn't have an after school club he only gets home around 16:30 - 16:45, so it would only be 1 hour he would be at home on his own. In this age of modern technology they can always let you know they are on the bus / at home / everything is fine.
Not sure which GS you are looking at and which way your DC would be travelling, but Birmingham Library is open until 19:00 on a Monday and Tuesday and 17:00 Wednesday - Friday; others around the city may be the same, so they could always go there after school to do homework before coming home.
Working fathers would also be in the same position, so don't believe it is discrimination. Perhaps your DC could travel from their GS towards the direction of your work and you could then travel home together if you don't want them home alone?

[PettswoodFiona]

My mother worked and (I like to think) I didn't turn out too badly. I walked to and from primary school from the age of 8, a distance of about a mile and on the way home sat at the back of the shop where my mum worked until she finished at 5pm. My daughter is now in Y7 of senior school and whilst DH is at home he will be getting a job and so she will be at home alone from about 5pm until I get home at around 7pm (love your idea of being home by 6pm and a half hour commute ). She will stay at school in the library for homework on days she doesn't have clubs after school but that is only for about half an hour after the end of the school day. On a Tuesday she already makes her own way to her music class near our home. Those who get dropped off by mummy or daddy do suffer a bit of friendly scorn and DD is determined to get the bus to school even when chucking it down with rain as she would never live it down being ferried to school by a parent when she is capable of handling public transport - I appreciate areas not so well connected to public transport will be different. We don't have the grandparent option either, more the other way round, DD goes to the shops for her disabled grandmother.

DD's school have been fabulous supporting their transition and when I had a wobble a few weeks in she gave me a hug and said 'the school said you'd find our transition to senior school just as hard if not harder than we would, here's a hug mum to make you feel better'

You can't keep them in a bubble or cotton wool for ever, best to give them the skills to cross roads and be aware of social dangers while they are still young enough to pay attention to you rather than wait until a teenager who thinks they know it all when in reality they don't and if by they haven't been exposed to the real world will then struggle and be more at risk of being taken advantage of or being run over whilst wearing headphones because they haven't got into good habits or awareness when they were younger.

[ToadMum]

Totally agree with the other responses. You have got loads of time between now and next September to investigate your DC's route to and from school, places such as the local library or a cafe where a well-behaved schoolchild can sit quietly with a drink and do homework, etc, if you really don't want them actually to be inside the house alone. Get out and about, teach them what to look out for / be careful of (and I don't mean, 'All strangers are mad, axe-wielding maniacs, given half a chance'. No they are not, they are people just like you are, but yes, people do come in all varieties). Learn where it is sensible to go / whom to approach if they have a problem. If you have a choice between a dedicated school bus that only runs one journey each way and public transport, I would always suggest using the latter, as it is son much more flexible and usually cheaper to boot

[streathammum]

Agree with the other posters - my Y6 DS walks home alone twice a week (about 15 mins walk, including crossing a dual carriageway, and we live in an inner London borough) and on one of those days he's at home for about two hours before I get there. Most of the Y7 kids I know take themselves to and from school on either bus, train, tube or a combination.

I'm saying this not to tell the OP what to do with their own child. It's more to explain why formal after school childcare is not generally provided at secondary schools - not to discriminate against working parent but because most children don't need it.

I am viewing Y6 as an opportunity to get my DS used to the things he'll be facing in Y7 - being responsible for his own homework, making sure he's got the right books and kit each morning, being sensible when at home on his own, building up his experience of being out of the house on his own. This last has been hard for me but good for him.

[OldTrout]

Hi Savin

Actually I do understand your concern - especially if your child is on the small side physically or is 'young' for their age. But as others have said y7 &a secondary are all about gaining independence.

If you haven't submitted your CAF (not sure of deadline this year as mine are already in secondary) - investigate what they have in place after school. Most clubs in y7 at grammar will be at lunch because many will have a long commute and parents prefer the green bus to public transport. But all of the grammar schools have after school library time. So one solution to delay the return home time is to use the after school library time and then walk/ take a bus home.

My small fry takes a normal bus to CHG but after initial worries she's made friends on her route (a few from her year) and some of the older kids who she knew through primary/ outside activities also take that bus route too. So she travels in a nice little bubble.

One option I know friends have used from any secondary is to have their child make it to their place of work. Now this very much depends on what you do, your boss, your own preferences but this could be a solution. They can meet you there and you can go home together. The longer journey to you also eats up some of that time - however it also eats into homework time so it is a decision you will have to think through. Maybe appropriate initially when they're smaller but later not such an issue.

Other options include getting home and making the routine upon coming home - call mum let her know you're home, have a snack and get cracking with the homework. To be honest my small fry follows this routine and it has kept her on top of homework for CHG and meant weekends are fairly relaxed and there is time for family things like dinner together, watching to shows together or just chatting later in the evening.

One thing you aren't considering is just how tiring (emotionally and physically) that first term of grammar school is. Trust me getting home ~ 4/ 4:30 will be welcome to your child. They can have a snack and work quietly until you are home and that hour and a half will fly by.

I know it will be weird for the two of you at first but it can work.

Now what I don't think you are counting on if your child is taking a normal city bus is sheer numbers travelling at 3:30. My small fry should be home a bit before 4 but usually isn't back until 4:15/ 4:30 just because her bus route is popular and frequently buses are full of kids from other schools and just pass the stop by camp hill.

Savin - I know this is worrying and hard to juggle. But it is manageable and genuinely within weeks you will wonder what the worry was all about.

Hope this helps

OT