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 Post subject: Stressed out child
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:01 am
Posts: 85
My DD has had an ongoing problem with shortness of breath with makes her feel as if she can't breathe. She was refered to the hospital with it last year, and they found no physiological cause, and put it down to stress. However, it's a bit of a vicious circle, because once you feel like that, it stresses you out even more, so it's hard to overcome it. The last bout she had lasted 3 - 4 months! Not surprisingly, with the 11 plus looming, she has gone down with it again and is constantly fighting for breath. I can't see any point keeping her off school tomorrow, because she would probably stress out even more that she was missing the test, plus it's unlikely that this will go away in a week or 2 for her to be able to take the test in a better state at a later date. The other side effect is that it leaves her feeling absolutely shattered. She came home from school on Monday and went to bed at 3.30pm for 2 hours, then had an early night after tea! When she wakes up in the morning, she can barely drag herself out of bed.

I'm debating whether to get her a doctors appointment today or tomorrow, so that I have something in writing in the event of an appeal, although I'm feeling like paranoid Mum here! Also, if I were to sit in front of a doctor with DD discussing this, it could stress her out even more!

Any thoughts / ideas most welcome!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
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Dear Jellybaby

Is she like it at school?

Are the school aware? If so what is their stance on the matter?

Patricia


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:52 pm 
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Yes she is - the teacher was very aware of her previous bout last year, and used to report back to me almost daily on it. I spoke to her again this morning and she is very sympathetic and keeping an eye on her. DD has also consistently underperformed in tests compared to teacher assessments, so it worries me that this might be the case with the 11plus too.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:58 pm 
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I would go to the doctor's if I were you. When we had to go about something sensitive, I typed out a brief precis (me? brief!) for the doctor so that he could read it without my child overhearing and that worked quite well. You can tell her it's just a routine check up after last year or something.
I sincerely hope it works out for you!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:01 pm 
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Thank you. Maybe I can get some tranquillisers for myself too while I'm there!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:04 pm 
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Writing medical notes / letters in support of things is difficult if you haven't seen the person round about the time of the event. I get people asking me to write that they had x or y a few weels ago but we didn't see a doctor etc. All I can say in the letter is that "z has asked me to say that he had x on the following dates" - naturall people can see straight through this. Of course if there is an ongoing problems there is already evidence of the condition but still tends to be better if the record is contemporaneous.

Does the surgery / GP have a "phone in session"? many do now - may be worth having a chat first and see what they suggest re appointments for DD - for example here we might say to bring her to the very friendly practice nurse for a "check up" and in a very low key way ask about general health.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:08 pm 
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Location: Buckinghamshire
Hi jellybaby

As you have a documented medical history already, and the school are aware of the problem, I would not see a doctor today. The evidence you already have would be sufficient to make the point at an appeal.

I agree with your thought that taking her to the doctor now might stress her out even more, and I think an appeal panel will understand that very clearly. If a consultant couldn't resolve the problem last year, then 5 minutes with a GP now is not going to sort it out.

I also agree with you that there is no point in delaying the test. Her problem is chronic and ongoing, not acute and short-term, and that is the one exception to the rule of not sending a sick child in to school on the day of the test.

The gap that you need to close now is the Head teacher. Is he or she aware of the problem as well? Are they supportive of your daughter? It is the Head who writes the submission for an appeal, and you must have them on your side as well as the class teacher if at all possible.

After the test tomorrow make sure that you find out from the teacher how your daughter coped, and do the same next week. You should also ask your daughter how she felt during the test but unless she mentions it, I would not refer to the breathing problem until after the second test, for fear of auto-suggestion taking over.

Do you know from the teacher how she coped in the school practice tests? You are likely to be asked that question in the event of an appeal. Make sure that you write everything down that you can recall from the last few weeks, including how she felt yesterday of course.

I wish her - and you - very good luck. Please let us know how she gets on.

Sally-Anne

Edit: I have just seen Milla and herman's posts. I think the suggestion of a phone conversation with the doctor is a very good one. It achieves the objective of informing the doctor without stressing your daughter out today.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:10 pm 
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Sally-Anne wrote:
I agree with your thought that taking her to the doctor now might stress her out even more, and I think an appeal panel will understand that very clearly. If a consultant couldn't resolve the problem last year, then 5 minutes with a GP now is not going to sort it out.



ooops crossing in the ether - this is very true, hence the need to make it low key, might find the doc says that the phone call from mum is enough.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:11 pm 
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Thank you. I've just made an appointment for this afternoon but plan to go in myself first and have a quick word, then get DD to see the doctor. Do you suggest that I ask them to put something in writing now, or just make sure that something is put on the record in case I need it at a later date?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:13 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
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If it was me I would say wait and see if you need the letter.


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