Count Down

[Midget Man]

We can't wait for next week to come and put us out of our misery! I can remember when our son got his results, we had to read the letter at least a couple of times just to make sure he had passed before telling him the good news.

I think I must have re-read the result's letter and then the school admission letter for atleast a good couple of weeks

[duffymoon]

Yes we kept going back to look at it just to make sure !

[stresspot]

That's a good tip about being settled with a hot drink, thank god I've got a rapid boil kettle......

[luckydip]

Is there any clue in the thickness of the envelope?

Its probably a single sheet stating yeah or nay

I think I 'm getting paranoid.......

[Sally-Anne]

Is there any clue in the thickness of the envelope?

The official results letter is one page, and there is no other content provided at this stage by Bucks CC. Appeal booklets and forms are sent to the school, but only given to parents who ask for them after they know the results.

Heads are however given this advice by Bucks CC: "You may also like to enclose a letter indicating any special arrangements you have made to meet with parents who might wish to discuss their child’s performance."

I have never heard of a Head doing it because I think they assume that parents will find them if they want to talk about an appeal. In the event that any Head did do this I hope that they would include a letter in every child's envelope, not just those who didn't qualify! The extra sheet would be a dead giveaway if it was only in some of the envelopes.

On the subject of opening the letter, do please take it home before you open it. Schools do usually talk to the children about this, but it is the parents who behave badly by ripping the envelope open at the school gates. Not good either way.

As for the hot drink ... well, if it's good news there will be tea and cocoa everywhere, I can guarantee.

[Belgarath]

Dear All,

This is undoubtedly the worst time, as the week counts down to next Friday. Mrs Belgarath (or Polgara to those of you who know the books) didn't sleep from Monday before.

I urge you all to make plans for the "grand opening" which covers both eventualities. I live in a small village with small school and unfortunately everyone knows how every one thought their DC had done (school gate culture). Over the years there have been many supremely confident parents whose DC had told them it was easy and they had in turn told all and sundry that was the case. The 11+ is not easy, end of. Those that come out and say it was easy have IMHO probably missed the point of the exam and fallen for all the little tricks and traps. Those who demonstate caution and say well I found "x" (hopefully <10) number difficult but I had a good guess are more often sucessful. The point is that those parents who don't think failure is a possibilty will crucify their DC's confidence with their reaction to a score of under 121. They will think they have failed, which is not the case. The exam is about suitability and even that is only a snap shot and by no means definitive. I have known some mums to hide away the week after the results and are teary eyed a week later. This is because of the pass/fail culture that exists and the fact that the a parent thinks that their child is in some way deficient by not getting 121.

So please plan how you are going to deal with a mark of less than 121 and how you can encourage them over the weekend and avoid sweeping statements about "you will be alright on appeal" , many aren't. Hopefully cautious parents have discussed options with head teachers and have some idea of what level their child was graded and if they will support an appeal. Don't build up their hopes and think what it will be like for them going into school Monday to face the music as children can often be very spiteful.

Given my sentiments I wish you all well and the result you and your DC desire.

[Hope]

Best wishes to you all this week.

I have been through this a couple of times now (thank goodness I don't have any more children!) this last week is really hard, all you want is for Friday to arrive and get that LETTER. Where to open it? I think that it is best to take the letter home if at all possible, much nicer to open in your own home especially if you need to manage disappointing news. Also if good news you are able to celebrate without usetting anyone who may not had 'been selected'. It can be really hard for the children who have done well but have friends who have not or the other way round!

We unfortunately had a 'not selected' letter both times, my DD spent the whole weekend crying if anyone spoke to her my DS handled it much better although he too was very disappointed. The hardest part for me was that they felt disappointed in themselves and felt they had let 'everyone' down which obviously they hadn't but it was very hard to convince them of this.

My advice, if you get the dreaded result, is to speak to the headteacher and class teacher, they know your child very well and will be able to let you know if they think you should appeal. An appeal is a difficult, stressful route but worth a go if you believe your child should be at a grammar school.

Anyway, good luck for Friday, it will get here eventually

[drummer]

It is a dreadful wait isn't it!

Can I just echo what Sally Anne said. While the school will ask pupils and parents to wait til they get home to open the letter (which is addressed to the PARENTS by the way) some, even many will inevitably rip theirs open at the gates and yell about what they've got. It can be really quite horrendous! So, please, hold your nerve and get back home for calm opening with tea on hand!

[TheDirector]

Reading these replies, there must be some real idiotic parents if they open result letters at the school gates.

From Househusband

[Jules7]

Have been avoiding any 11+ "chats" that might be going on at the school gates, but actually not aware of any anyway! Think this forum is a good way to privately share the wait.
I can't believe many people open letters at the school - I don't remember anyone doing so last year at our school (thank goodness).