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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:25 pm
Posts: 33
6 girls and 4 boys took the test at my daughters school. 2 boys passed, they were congratulated by all the other boys in the class. 1 girl passed and she was told to keep away from the other girls and was only congratualted by 1 other girl!! That girl, my daughter came home in tears.

We neve told anyone her results, we were sensitive to how others may feel. The non test mums said congratulations but not one test mum even looked my way. The girls were catty to my daughter the whole day.

I'm gutted for my daughter. Yes, I know we should rise above it but to terminate 6 years of "hello and goodbye" in the playground seems a bit extreme.

I just had to get that off my chest. My daughter was so proud of herself. She got a really high score and she worked really hard. The silver lining is that hopefully she'll get into a grammer school where there won't be any of her class mates!!

:(


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:32 am 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 11:05 am
Posts: 105
Bam wrote:
6 girls and 4 boys took the test at my daughters school. 2 boys passed, they were congratulated by all the other boys in the class. 1 girl passed and she was told to keep away from the other girls and was only congratualted by 1 other girl!! That girl, my daughter came home in tears.

We neve told anyone her results, we were sensitive to how others may feel. The non test mums said congratulations but not one test mum even looked my way. The girls were catty to my daughter the whole day.

I'm gutted for my daughter. Yes, I know we should rise above it but to terminate 6 years of "hello and goodbye" in the playground seems a bit extreme.

I just had to get that off my chest. My daughter was so proud of herself. She got a really high score and she worked really hard. The silver lining is that hopefully she'll get into a grammer school where there won't be any of her class mates!!

:(


Hi Bam
This is just awful - how upsetting it must have been for your daughter. It is hard for children to accept failure, but it does sound in your case that the parents need to learn some manners and of course, the children have only their parents as role models.
Congratulations to your daughter - she did exceedingly well!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:34 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:27 pm
Posts: 604
That's dreadful - poor DD.

I hope that it blows over quickly and things settle down.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:42 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:25 pm
Posts: 33
Thanks for your support.

The children are just following their parents. I always make my daughter congratulate others on their achievements, however she is slowly losing faith now.

I was bullied as a child and i swear this playground is bringing back awful memories!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:43 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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How did they know she had qualified? This information is confidential.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:44 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:27 pm
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I'd be appalled if my DS behaved like that - some people really need to grow up. :evil:


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:05 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:25 pm
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My daughters best friend's mum let it slip ! The rumour mill was working over time and most of the girls had various tutor conversations. I mainly tutored my daughter, thanks to all the brilliant information on this forum!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
Posts: 3579
Is it a tiny school bam or did all kids not sit the test?

I cannot see how a teacher could allow this to happen if that is the case, as she must have noticed. Our school is red hot on 11+ nastiness, the kids should have circle time immediately, ring the school and ask for it to happen today, our school does it as a matter of course after results day. As for the parents, how did they know she had passed, before they picked their kids up on monday? Do what my hubby does to offish neighbours, go up to them and be very very overly friendly, it always knocks their stuffing out!

This really is an awful situation, does your dd normally have play dates with the other girls? Maybe time you ring round and arrange some very quickly. You cannot and must not wish 10 months of your daughters life away, she must enjoy year 6, it is one of the most fun primary years, they are top of the tree, and learning independence in a protected environment before they hit the big streets.

Keep us posted. Bless her.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:36 am 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
Posts: 4024
Location: Reading
It's appalling.
You and your DD should be proud. The others are jealous. If so called friends of yours and hers behave like this, then they are not really true friends.

Iirc, your DD is also siting the Kendrick test and the other parents have said she has no chance. (Or maybe I'm confusing you with someone else, if so sorry)

My DD sat the Kendrick exam last year with 7 other girls, four of which are close friends. My DD, two close friends and one other were successful, the other four weren't. There was no problem with the close friends or their mums. Congrats to those who did well, commiserations to those that didn't and as a group the girls and us mums moved on.

One girl, who up to that point thought she was the bees knees and was convinced she would not only get in but beat everyone else's score, did not qualify. For months after she didn't talk to my DD or her friends (even the ones who also didn't qualify).

I think it speaks volumes about both the parents and the children when they behave like this. You have tried to be sensitive and they are being anything but. It really is their problem. Hopefully it will blow over, in the meantime, make sure she knows that you are proud of her and it's not her fault, it's theirs.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:39 pm
Posts: 2080
Around this time, you see the best and worst of people and it's true, for the most part it comes from home. When DS's friend got the selective school of his choice, some parents expressed their surprise to the friend's mother. Recently, he won the form prize for achievement. The mother and I were having a little chuckle about it.


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