Fingers Crossed for you all that are awaiting results on Fri

Eleven Plus (11+) in Buckinghamshire (Bucks)

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scatshouse
Posts: 438
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:00 am

Post by scatshouse »

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Best of Luck for everybody waiting for results tomorrow.

Scatshouse.
in Turmoil

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Post by in Turmoil »

I cleaned out all the kitchen cupboards last night! My husband thinks it is my nesting instinct coming on to protect my daughter. I think it's because I can't settle to anything! Anyone else out there as bad as me? This week sems to have gone on forever!
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Dad40 wrote:We decided a few weeks ago not to tell our daughter the actual scores, regardless of what they are. We then received a letter from our Head yesterday who also seemed to suggest this was a good idea.
I think it depends entirely on your child and how you think they will handle it.

We told our son his mark (because he was a near miss) but suggested to him that he didn't tell anyone else, and if he was asked he should say "I just missed it but my Mum is going to Appeal".

The ones that really annoyed me were the 141s who told the whole world about their fab marks. Their parents had clearly not given them any guidance on how to behave. :roll:

Sally-Anne
Dad40
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:40 pm
Location: Chiltern District, Bucks

Post by Dad40 »

Thanks Sally-Anne.

We don't actually expect to appeal (regardless of scores) so we wouldn't even need to tell her for that reason.

Yeah we know a 141. Until we met them, I thought the 141 score would only be dished out if Prof Stephen Hawking suddenly decided to sit the 11+ :wink:

Cheers
Guest

Post by Guest »

My daughter knew her score. She was under strict instructions not to discuss it - in the end, she did discuss it with her best friend, because she had assumed she was an exception. Fortunately the child had the exact same average as her.

It is quite possible for a strong-willed child to know their results and not discuss them. My daughter would have been furious not to know the marks she had worked so hard for. A simple response to queries about marks is 'I qualified comfortably, thank you', or even 'That's for me to know and you to find out!' (which might be more polite than 'Mind your own business!')
Guest

Post by Guest »

My child may or may not have passed so who knows how we will be feeling tomorrow, and we will wait until we get home to find out.

However, whatever happens I can't see how I can begrudge children who pass, score high or even maximum marks their celebration. At a sporting competition we celebrate success and commiserate with those who don't do so well while applauding their effort.

When kids do well in their GCSEs or A Levels are they instructed to keep quiet about it so as not to hurt others feelings? Not from what I have seen on television. They celebrate but spare a hugs for disappointed friends.

I am a foreigner and for me this all smacks of the strange post-war/class-warBritish attitude that regards academic success as elitist and it is this attitude that I think has done the most significant damage to the quality of British education in the last 5 or 6 decades.

Tomorrow, I hope every child gets the result they deserve and that will see them get in to the most appropriate school for them.
guest7

Post by guest7 »

Sally-Anne wrote:
Dad40 wrote:We decided a few weeks ago not to tell our daughter the actual scores, regardless of what they are. We then received a letter from our Head yesterday who also seemed to suggest this was a good idea.
I think it depends entirely on your child and how you think they will handle it.

We told our son his mark (because he was a near miss) but suggested to him that he didn't tell anyone else, and if he was asked he should say "I just missed it but my Mum is going to Appeal".

The ones that really annoyed me were the 141s who told the whole world about their fab marks. Their parents had clearly not given them any guidance on how to behave. :roll:

Sally-Anne
We also decided not to tell our child their score, simply that they had 'passed'. On the day there were two other children who achieved 141 and they told everyone straight away and were actually given a spontaneous round of applause by their classmates. At this point my child didn't even know what maximum score was or that they had also obtained it. By the following day I was informed by a parent that three other parents had rung them, complaining that my child was boasting about getting 141 !!! How they could have done that without knowing their own score is beyond me. Word got round the playground and they were physically and verbally bullied. My child was devastated and what should have been a day of celebration was completely ruined by vicious parents.
It turned out that most parents knew my son's score before he did (Parent/teacher in same year?) and one produced a spreadsheet with all the childrens' results. When she coyly asked me and I said that we weren't discussing marks she replied that everyone knew anyway.

In the end I told my child their mark and how proud we were of them. After all if everyone else knew why shouldn't they.

The irony of it was my elder child just missed the pass mark and was picked on for that! Again it was parents making disparaging remarks that caused it. One year a friend's son was kicked to the floor for 'lying about not knowing-I bet you failed' when he his results hadn't arrived before he left for school.

I would plead with you all to be careful about what you say either to your child or in front of them. As you can see several years down the line I am still bitter about the whole business.

Good luck to you all - both my children are extremely happy and successful in their senior school.
laid back son worried mum
Posts: 4083
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:18 am

Post by laid back son worried mum »

However, whatever happens I can't see how I can begrudge children who pass, score high or even maximum marks their celebration. At a sporting competition we celebrate success and commiserate with those who don't do so well while applauding their effort.

When kids do well in their GCSEs or A Levels are they instructed to keep quiet about it so as not to hurt others feelings? Not from what I have seen on television. They celebrate but spare a hugs for disappointed friends.

I am a foreigner and for me this all smacks of the strange post-war/class-warBritish attitude that regards academic success as elitist and it is this attitude that I think has done the most significant damage to the quality of British education in the last 5 or 6 decades.
Please don't take it the wrong way.

I think most people feel happy that the children have done we11 and are genuinely happy for their succe55es. The point about being a little quiet about the succe55es (which should be celebrated with loud whooping and cheering in the privacy of your own home) is to be considerate for others not so fortunate in a one/two/three days of testing in a horrible winter season.

So many children lose out and not for want of trying.

As for A level and GCSE results , these young men and women have the maturity to deal with their succe55 or failure in that they know how much work they have put in for a multitude of subjects and therefore are more 'expectant' of their results. They have the responsibility of working hard by themselves with schools' teaching and parents' support for exams over a period of time. They can cope better as they have chosen the subjects they wanted to study and know how well they have done in coursework and in their written papers.

It is crushing for a child of such tender age (10/11) to feel a failure. That word of course should not be used. Te11 the children they did their best if they did not make it and if only a little public control by the succe55ful ones is needed for the unlucky ones to feel a bit better, why begrudge it?

I would congratulate sincerely a11 who made it and commiserate with a11 who did not but I certainly would expect my children to show concern for their friends by saying a few kind words and saving the pleasure of their succe55 for Dad and me and our close friends and relatives.

GOOD LUCK A11 in BUCKS FOR TOMORROW
laid back son worried mum
Posts: 4083
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:18 am

Post by laid back son worried mum »

We also decided not to tell our child their score, simply that they had 'passed'. On the day there were two other children who achieved 141 and they told everyone straight away and were actually given a spontaneous round of applause by their classmates. At this point my child didn't even know what maximum score was or that they had also obtained it. By the following day I was informed by a parent that three other parents had rung them, complaining that my child was boasting about getting 141 !!! How they could have done that without knowing their own score is beyond me. Word got round the playground and they were physically and verbally bullied. My child was devastated and what should have been a day of celebration was completely ruined by vicious parents.
It turned out that most parents knew my son's score before he did (Parent/teacher in same year?) and one produced a spreadsheet with all the childrens' results. When she coyly asked me and I said that we weren't discussing marks she replied that everyone knew anyway.

In the end I told my child their mark and how proud we were of them. After all if everyone else knew why shouldn't they.

The irony of it was my elder child just missed the pass mark and was picked on for that! Again it was parents making disparaging remarks that caused it. One year a friend's son was kicked to the floor for 'lying about not knowing-I bet you failed' when he his results hadn't arrived before he left for school.

I would plead with you all to be careful about what you say either to your child or in front of them. As you can see several years down the line I am still bitter about the whole business.

Good luck to you all - both my children are extremely happy and successful in their senior school.
What a sorry state of affairs.

I can only offer you my sincerest commiserations for being on the receiving end of a11 the badly behaved grown ups and children.

that is what everyone now is trying to avoid but as it goes in the real world, there are many who have no kindne55 or understanding beyond themselves and their petty-mindedne55 causes hurt to one and a11.

Just brace yourself, people of Bucks. You know your area much better than I do.
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Anonymous wrote:My child may or may not have passed so who knows how we will be feeling tomorrow, and we will wait until we get home to find out.

However, whatever happens I can't see how I can begrudge children who pass, score high or even maximum marks their celebration. At a sporting competition we celebrate success and commiserate with those who don't do so well while applauding their effort.

When kids do well in their GCSEs or A Levels are they instructed to keep quiet about it so as not to hurt others feelings? Not from what I have seen on television. They celebrate but spare a hugs for disappointed friends.

I am a foreigner and for me this all smacks of the strange post-war/class-warBritish attitude that regards academic success as elitist and it is this attitude that I think has done the most significant damage to the quality of British education in the last 5 or 6 decades.

Tomorrow, I hope every child gets the result they deserve and that will see them get in to the most appropriate school for them.
Hi Guest

I do hope that you have good news tomorrow.

The problem with the 11+ (unlike GCSEs, sporting competitions, etc) is that the score is completely irrelevant. 121 is as good as 141 - either score will get a GS place.

There are children who achieve 141 but then struggle when they get to a GS and others who shine after achieving 121. Neither score is truly an indicator of the child's intelligence or of how they will really cope at GS, and "celebrating" the mark publicly is just plain boasting!

However after perhaps having worked very hard for some months, if a child has achieved a 141, the whoops of joy within one's own home are completely understandable.

As Guest 7's bitter experience shows, the problem arises when children are given their score but no guidance on how to handle it. Those are invariably the children whose parents behave so appallingly as well.

Sally-Anne
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