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 Post subject: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:06 am 
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2016 2:20 pm
Posts: 76
How is everyone feeling? We try not to talk about it or mention it at home but DS and his friends must do as every other day when I wake him up he tells me "so-and-so number of days mum!" (referring to how many days until results day). He didn't seem particularly nervous leading up to exam day and said the test was "ok" (not indicative of how difficult he found it, by the way, as he thinks everything in life is "ok"). I think this is what makes me nervous and which I try to hide from him - I literally cannot tell whether he has a good chance of passing or not. As I've read many times in this forum, scores on mocks and practice papers, especially when it comes to CEM, are not accurate indicators of how a child will do. Unless maybe if DC consistently gets 80% or above on those - which DS definitely did not.

I think more than anything I cannot predict myself how I will react on the day when he opens that envelope. I hope I can keep it together for him! First DC to take the test so I am admittedly very nervous, if a tad scared, of the unknown :( :? We never put pressure on him to pass but he seems determined to. It was only yesterday that he asked us to go to a comprehensive school's open evening. Prior to that, he only wanted to go to GS open evenings/mornings.

Truth be told, I am bricking it. There, I've said it and it actually feels good as I can't say it at home :D


Last edited by tropicmama on Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:11 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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In Bucks no-one 'passes' - the language used is 'qualifying for a GS' or 'qualifying for an Upper' - nobody 'fails'.

I think it's a better way to talk about it.


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:20 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:05 pm
Posts: 202
Good luck to your DS & other DCs who are waiting for their results.

I feel so lucky that my DS has no idea that this all goes on!


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:30 am 
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2016 2:20 pm
Posts: 76
Oh yes, Guest55. I actually use "qualify" when talking to the other mums. I must have been carried away with my furious ranting/typing. I think it's also because my DS actually refers to it as "passing" - and sadly, I can't remember if I've ever corrected him :?


Last edited by tropicmama on Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:33 am 
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2016 2:20 pm
Posts: 76
How does your DS feel about it, Blueberry? It's such a big thing in our area, there's no escaping it for my DS sadly. He does think he is lucky as it he reckons it's not as stressful as his friends who took North London school exams where I believe test-takers are ranked in addition to just needing to qualify.


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:19 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 5:24 pm
Posts: 186
We have been concentrating on talking about "options" rather than "pass/fail" , and the phrase "remember this is a flawed system" has passed my lips SO many times this year.

We've emphasised to DD that the test is not a good correlate for intelligence, but just used as a very rough seive to sort out some students from
Others, and that all it's doing is increasing her choice should she gain an "elegible" mark.
There's also the put-school-down-anyway-and-appeal option, but we will see what happens with the marks first. Because it's a cohort test we have no waybof knowing how they didnat all, so tropic, you are not alone!

One thing we did find really helpful Was taking her to the local Academy(Upper) open evening and she really liked the look of it (phew). Being aware that as parents we are approving of their effort even if they do not get into a grammar is I think far more important to their self esteem. Sadly I am sure there are Some parents out there who will be emotionally punitive if their DC do not score highly enough....which is daft as the current system is so unpredictable.

But yes, you are not alone!


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:32 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 1:40 pm
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So glad you said it. Me too!!! Completely bricking it. I already have son at a Bucks GS and DD is absolutely aware that she had a better attitude and scored better in practice papers in the lead up than he did. She will be completely thrown if she doesn't get through. I keep mentioning other options to keep her grounded but she looks at me like I'm mad. I am actually terrified of results day.


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:48 am 
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2016 2:20 pm
Posts: 76
I think what terrifies me the most is the fact that DS is determined not to go to the comprehensive closest to us, and there's not a lot of choice where we live. He has lots of friends in the area as he does all sorts of sport clubs and over the years have heard numerous "horror stories" about pupils' behaviour in that school (and he's not even aware of the school's OFSTED report!). Recently, he has taken to telling me about how the police have been called there twice in the last month or something (not sure if there is any truth to this, kids and rumours and all that). If he does not qualify, we will certainly have to look out of catchment, despite me often telling him that such behaviour probably exists in all schools, in some form or another and that certainly, nowhere is perfect and it will be what he makes of it. But then he asks me how he can learn properly if say, for example, other pupils act silly during lessons.


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 12:19 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:05 pm
Posts: 202
Tropicmama, because we don't currently live in Bucks my DS just accepts that he needs to do some extra work after school because this will help him to get to secondary school :oops:

We are hoping to move in the new year but he will most likely carry on with Year 5 here and only start Year 6 in Bucks.... by then I'm hoping that he will have missed the worst of it!

Plus I'm fairly relaxed over it all. He only does 30-45mins a week of additional work from the books that I've bought so it's all fairly low key at the moment. He still attends all of his clubs 3 nights a week and has a play date once a week - actually it looks like he doesn't do much studying for his test. Not sure whether I'm setting him to fail :?


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 Post subject: Re: A week tomorrow
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:28 am
Posts: 17
I so feel your pain too - My DS is hoping to quality for a local grammar school but we are also looking at several options and backup plans - trouble is one of our catchment upper schools has just had a scathing ofsted, which DS isn't aware of, and we did visit it last week and he really didn't like it despite all my positive words of encouragement. He too has heard of behavioural issues and police being called there so he is anxious to go there so I have widened the net to look at our other catchment upper school to find out today there is no transport to this school from where we live - Local transport would involve 1 bus into HW and then another bus to the school - its over 5 miles away with no direct transport - too much for a 11 year in my eyes so the dilemma is do I take him to visit this school tonight or not? Anyway now means that we now have to visit 2 other uppers that we are not in catchment for and I am finding the school visits taxing, trying and tiring - so is DS! Very stressful times.... Roll on next Friday when at least a few choices are out of the window...! Also trying to figure out the transport/catchment areas as our 2 uppers schools are the furthest away from our house and we are not in catchment for 2 nearer schools madness! :cry: :?


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