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 Post subject: exam nerves
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:10 am 
I am worried about my son who is due to sit his 11+ in October. He is quite a nervous child and panics under stress even though he is very clever and regularly at the top of his class.

I have done a good deal of practice with him, in a relaxed way, and he is capable, but panics when he comes to a question he can't do and gets very upset. I have tried to tell him to move on, but he finds this very hard to do.

I'm tempted to get some relaxation tapes or even some kind of therapy to help him over his panic but wonder if he'll find this more pressuring than helpful.

If he doesn't pass - and all his teachers think he should - how can I appeal with only 'panic' as an excuse? It sounds a bit pathetic but really is quite debilitating for him.

I haven't put him down for the main boys' school as I think the pressure would be too much for him, even though I'm sure he could hold his own academically.

Any advice?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:07 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8201
Location: Buckinghamshire
Hi panic

I'm afraid I can't help you on the main problem, as my son is rather the same. However I think that if you end up having to appeal that "panic" would be very good grounds! It is honest and straightforward, and with the support of the teachers (especially if they have also seen him panicking under stress) and hopefully a very good academic track record you would be in a good position. I hope it doesn't come to that, and I am sure that wiser heads than mine will respond shortly with advice to help your son cope. Have you thought of asking his teachers for advice as well? They may have some helpful suggestions to make.

Good luck!
Sally-Anne


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear Panic

Have you tried Rescue Remedy [spay].....you can buy it from most chemists, we have used it for GCSEs and A Levels.....it may be a whole load of rubbish, but if they THINK it will calm them down, it often will....the placebo effect!

Is there a particular type of question he gets stuck on, I may be able to offer some help....

Tell your son [ easier said than done]....he shouldn't worry, the reason you are helping him is to make it easier for him when the real tests come around.....he will not be alone, others will be upset/worried...I would be more worried if he was blase......you will be proud of him whatever the outcome etc etc

Just before the real tests, I tell all my students that on the day there WILL be children around them upset/crying.....they HAVE to remove themselves from these children [ if they dont they end up getting caught up with their friends emotions, making it worse for them]....I tell them to report it to a teacher/teacher assistant.....harsh I know.....

If your child is emotional on the day......a letter to the head must be put on file THAT day.....its difficult proving to an appeal panel in retrospect.

Any questions just ask

Patricia


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:41 am 
Sally-Anne and Patricia

Sally-Anne thank you for your kind words. The teachers have also witnessed his problem so I am hoping for support there, if needed.

Patricia, I have seen Rescue Remedy in the chemist so I'll give it a go - as you so rightly say, if he thinks it will help then maybe it will (fingers crossed).

He doesn't get stuck on a particular type of question but sometimes worries over the most difficult examples of each. We'll carry on with the practice and maybe he'll grow in confidence.

Thanks again

Panic


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:01 pm 
Patricia

Sorry, me again. The ones that I have trouble with - my son is much better than me and seems to just 'know' most of the answers instinctively-are the K type questions.

All the other types, we've worked out effective strategies for. Advice on these would be useful for when his 'instinct' fails.

Thanks again.

Panic


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:42 pm 
Hi Panic

I have a son like yours who sat the 11+ last year - he scored 116 and was predicted 131 - 141 by the school so under performed considerably. That was my only grounds for appeal along with the extra 'pressure' he placed on himself as he knew he 'should' pass. The appeal panel accepted this and hes off to Grammar School in September so try not to worry too much. Hopefully he'll be fine but if not 'grammar' is not the 'be all and end all'.

Sara


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear Panic

Type K [as identified by IPS or Type 18 [as identified by The Tutors]…..

[ 36 [6] 6] [56 [ 7] 8] [49 [?] 7]

There are THREE basic rules…..

1] The number in the MIDDLE is made by using the numbers on either side.

2]Sometimes you use ONE operation, sometimes you use TWO.

3]The RULE found for the first set MUST apply to the second set.

To get started the child must look at the number in the MIDDLE of the first set….

If the number is BIGGER than the numbers on either side, then the child says to themselves “The CHANCES are…. I will be ADDING or MULTIPLYING.”

If the number is SMALLER than one or both numbers on either side, then the child will say, “The CHANCES are…..I will be TAKING AWAY or DIVIDING.”

They always say, “The Chances Are”…….because occasionally you DO have to use the opposite operations.

The Above Example

The number in the MIDDLEis smaller than one of the numbers on either side ……so….”The chances are that I will be TAKING AWAY or DIVIDING….

36÷6=6

MUST check that it works for the second set….56÷8=7

The rule goes for both sets, therefore can use for last set…49÷7=7

Another Example

[25 [16] 7] [29[27]25] [49[?]]23]

The number in the MIDDLEis SMALLER than at least one of the numbers…”The chances are that I will be TAKING AWAY or DIVIDING…

25-7=18….…how do I get to 16….I take away 2……..does this rule work for the second set…..NO

25÷8= cannot do….must be a whole number.

I must NOT give up…I just try the other TWO operations

25+7=32…how do I get to 16…I half the number 32….does it work for the second set.

29+25=54…..how do I get to 27…I half the number 54

The rule works for both sets, therefore I can use for the last set…

49+23=72……half of 72 = 36

Common Mistakes

The child forgets to check the RULE works for BOTH sets.

The child tries to USE the middle number as part of his/her calculations to find THAT middle number.

The child tries the obvious 2 operations, cannot find the answer, then panics, forgetting they CAN use the other two operations.

Knowledge Required

This type of question is ALWAYS the most dreaded……BUT….at the end of the day it ONLY uses the four basic maths operations + ÷ x -

All my tutored children have to complete times table squares on a weekly basis [2-12]

I tell ALL mums that they should try to ensure that the child can add up and take away basic numbers under 100…..VERY QUICKLY……before they come to me.

A good knowledge of doubling and halving is also very important.

It’s basically...... firing quick questions at them, in the car, out for walks at the kitchen table.

Hope this helps

Patricia


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:47 pm 
Sara

Thank you. Your post gave me hope.

Patricia

Brillant - a set of rules! Thank you, I'll go and put them to the test right away (on me, that is).

Regards

Panic


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:15 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear Panic

See also...

viewtopic.php?t=618

It may help your son gain some confidence.

Also IPS publish a book on how to approach the different types....may help you!

Patricia


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