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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 12:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:39 pm
Posts: 29
Help! I have tried everything to keep my daughter going but she has just had enough!
She wants to do the 11 Plus but she doesnt want to work anymore... I have given her breaks etc but we cant do it too much otherwise she wont be ready.
Im stressed out so bad... Any advice would be gratefully received!? :)


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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 2:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:34 pm
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Hi it might help to have a bit more info - How long has she been practising for? How many subjects willl she have to take? Are you DIYing or using a tutor? Are you being realisitic about your DD's abilities and have evidence of high ability should you need to appeal?
( sorry to ask - as a parent currently going through the appeal route - you have to consider it)


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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 2:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:39 pm
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Hi, thanks
We have been studying since October. She has a maths and comprehension paper and also an independent writing paper. We are using a great tutor but my daughter needs further help from me as she moved schools and was a bit behind on everything.
She is capable for definite..my tutor is an honest one and has told anothe parent to not do it.. She has faith that my DD can do it but she needs to keep up with the pace....
:( we have worked so hard but I can feel her attention is literally dropping off big time.


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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 7:44 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:19 pm
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I think I would discuss it with the tutor, but my instinct is to say that you won't do anything at all over half term. If she is struggling / demotivated at the moment the quality of work she is doing probably isn't great so it's becoming a two edged sword iykwim. Therefore, will a week off actually make much difference and it might just clear the air for her.

Just an idea.


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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 8:48 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
You need to take her to events at the school to remind her what all the work is for. I took my dd to the school all the time and generated in her a desire to go there. Perhaps also take her to a school that perhaps she might not want to go to. Is she the only one or our her friends working for the exams as well? DG


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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 9:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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A promise of treats to be earned for hard work? Aka bribery! At this age it is hard for them to see the benefits and if you really believe that this is the right school for them some treats may be in order, as well as showing them the school again. How about a complete break until after half term? Does she know anyone else who goes to the school who can tell her all about it? DS2 was a little reluctant & his brother & sister were primed to tell him it was all worth it. It partly depends what other options you have as well. Would it really be so bad if she didn't go to the grammar school?


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 7:46 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:33 pm
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i would agree with the complete break from 11+ til after half term. maybe giving her a break will re ignite her motivation x


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 10:39 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 2:00 pm
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Agree that she needs a break. But after half term think about putting her in control of when she does 11+ practice. When my DS was feeling like this I got a diary and asked him to choose when he did his work. So he knew he had to do Maths, English and VR, so he might choose Wednesday straight after school for Maths, Tuesday after dinner for English. Saturday first thing for VR etc. Once that was in the diary that was decided and the rest of the time we didn't mention the 11+. This meant that I wasn't spending every afternoon/evening trying to persuade him (nagging him :lol: ) which was part of what was making him so fed up with the whole thing. As parents it's frustrating when you know that can do well, but they wont put the work in. But it can end up in a vicious circle where the more frustrated you get, the more demotivated they get!

Try to give her lots of fun things to do. And bribes work wonders! (I paid DS 20p per paper with a 1p bonus for every mark he increased :oops: )


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 3:31 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:33 pm
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Bravo STORM couldnt put it better myself.


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