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 Post subject: Please Please help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:03 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:51 am
Posts: 78
Hi, I am very new to this sort of stuff but I am completely and utterly in a state of panic. My daughter is sitting the 11+ on Saturday at SHSG. We are in catchment, she is bright and consistently does well in her practice papers and mock test etc. I teach in a special needs school and am counsellor so I should know better but still I cannot stop thinking about this dreaded exam. I am not sleeping, eating (which is good as I need to lose a few pounds) and I can't concentrate on anything. This is the longest week of my life.

My daughter is very level headed and is more than equipped for the test so why am I in such a state - is this normal?

We are not doing any preparation this week, just chilling and having fun but I keep thinking this is wrong and I should be working with her - Please can I get some advice before I self combust - many many thanks.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:11 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:42 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: Chelmsford and pleased
Relax, easier said than done, you are not alone. Try not to let her know how you feel. SHSG passmark last year was 55% (50% in 2008) VR is worth double the other two. Does this help?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:51 am
Posts: 78
Thanks so much that does help - her mock results were up in the high 70's so that's good to know :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:34 pm
Posts: 106
It is re-assuring there is someone else that feels the same as me out there. It is ridiculous and as adults we should know better, and certainly not to transfer this onto our children, but your right it is so hard. Let's face it we want our child to go to the best school possible for the rosiest future. I know, to console ourselves, we tell ourselves - bright child will do well anywhere - I agree - but as well as if they went to a grammar school?? - I'm not convinced and that is probably why this exam causes so much stress.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:51 am
Posts: 78
You are so right ! I think it's the knowing that as parents you have no control over the outcome, it's down to the child - that's what I struggle with - if I could I would do the exam for her but as my daughter quite rightly pointed out I would fail !! Don't you just love kids :lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:42 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:25 pm
Posts: 2556
you guys could be me! A lot of this has been going on in Glos - you are not alone! Believe me, it's better when it's over. True, a different fear slides in, but less of a controlling one! Good luck to your children - they'll be fine! and to you - you're the ones who need it!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:52 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:51 am
Posts: 78
Aah thank you a bit calmer today she got 92% in her school mock yesterday and I have been knocking back the Rescue Remedy like it's going out of fashion ! Just can't wait for it to be over as I can't concentrate on anything else at the moment !


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:57 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:25 pm
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that's the signal to stop practising! Grab those high marks and stop. Keep on a high. Keep taking the RR (that's the stuff I use for, er, mishaps when skiing. You must have it bad :shock: !)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:51 am
Posts: 78
She hasn't been practising at home for about a week but the mock was school initiated. She can't win poor love though because she is so cool about it and I think in my head she wont take it seriously !! You wouldn't believe I was a trained CBT counsellor would you !! My CBT has worked on her but not me :evil:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:25 pm
Posts: 2556
I think that a lot of us find this, we're frazzled and a bit sad really and they just take it in their stride. They live in the present, we project a hundred possible futures in every moment. No wonder we get like this.


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