When my second one just missed out on getting in initially, I spent a sleepless and teary night worrying about how to tell her.In the end, she was mildly disappointed but generally o.k especially when I said we would be going out for a pizza because she had tried her best.Gran also gave her a me 2 you bear for her efforts.
In retrospect I was more upset than her.My mind was going places hers wasn't e.g "will she feel like she has failed"...
Well - no because I had spent 4 months telling her what a snapshot the 11+ was of her ability !I had also sold the local school sooo well that when she got offered a place on the waiting list a couple of weeks later, she wasn't sure!
Its a cliche but it is true, children are remarkably adaptable and "move on" much quicker than we do.
Poor you, all of you, the waiting will be over soon