I have noticed lots of negative comments from parents who have referred to their children as "failing the 11+". My DD hasn't got into her first choice of school but I do not see this as her failing the 11+! The competition was really tough (as it is every year) and I am sure that all the children tried their very best.
Our children should all be praised whatever the outcome as they all work so hard and the difference in scores between gaining a place and not gaining a place is minimal. I think that taking the 11+ is an achievement in itself and I for one am a really really proud mummy.
Sorry I will get off my soap box now!