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 Post subject: Dreading results weekend
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:59 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:10 pm
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I am dreading the results next weekend. I am not sure I can even bring myself to look at them. I am taking dd on a tour of our local comprehensive the evening before the results come out, mostly so that I won't feel so awful when I crush her dreams.

I am really regretting ever starting on this journey with her. 10 is just so young to have to deal with such crushing disappointment.

I really don't know if I can do this again with dd2 who is in year 3 and who is dead keen to start doing 11+ work. I think probably because she thinks it's a good way to get to spend time with me on my own without her sister. Little does she know that it's not half as much fun as it looks! :lol:

Feeling very down and disheartened. :(


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 9:16 am 
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I feel exactly the same as you. How do you tell a 10 year old they can't go to the school they've worked so hard to get to? Those months of preparation all for nothing. I know any extra work will benefit the children in the long term but I doubt this will be any comfort to them.

My belly flips over every time I think about receiving the results. I too think I'll take some time to open and read them. I keep waking up at night worrying about it. I'm convinced my DS hasn't achieved the magic 303. He didn't have a tutor we DIY'd. Whenever he has done a paper and said it was "easy" he's ended up doing appallingly. I'll happily eat my words if I'm wrong! This is one situation where I'll be thrilled to be wrong :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 9:25 am 
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I'm with you.

Counting down the days but equally I feel sick at the thought of actually finding out.

DS has been monosyllabic as regards how it went but he missed questions out and was very quiet after the test.

I keep trying to prepare my reaction but really can't bear thinking about it.

He was only 10 in August so the odds are really against him- I am befuddled as to why I ever thought it was a good idea.

I don't ever want to have to do this again unless it's like childbirth and time numbs the memory....

Good luck to everyone out there.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:17 am 
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Saffery13 wrote:
I am befuddled as to why I ever thought it was a good idea.

I don't ever want to have to do this again unless it's like childbirth and time numbs the memory....

Good luck to everyone out there.


Couldn't have said it better myself! Waiting for the results is worse than preparing for the exam because now I am facing the possibility that I will have to tell my little girl that she didn't make it...

I am not sure I can go through this again with my youngest. Breaking one child's heart is bad enough but two...

As you say, perhaps this time next year I shall be thinking "what's the big deal, it wasn't so bad last time" which is exactly why I ended up going through childbirth twice!!! :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:57 am 
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I am practising how I tell DS, current favourite line is, "you were really close just not close enough". I am fairly convinced if he does not score highly enough he won't be interested in the specifics.. If the results come through on Saturday (we are at end of alphabet) then DS will be at another school taster day which should distract him a little.

I think I am more concerned about the discussion in the playground, around 10 of them took the 11plus there will be some good scores I am sure so it will be interesting to see how the children handle it amongst themselves.

Still I prefer to be in limbo as another poster said there is still chance he has done well enough..


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:58 am 
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wish you all the best.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 11:26 am 
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djy76 wrote:
I think I am more concerned about the discussion in the playground, around 10 of them took the 11plus there will be some good scores I am sure so it will be interesting to see how the children handle it amongst themselves.


As bad as it makes me I think this is what I'm worried about most. Most of the children in my DS's year took the test. The school has a high pass rate and it will be awful for him to be one of the few that hasn't passed. He struggles to fit in as it is :( I've told my son I'm not going to tell him his mark even if he has by some miracle passed. All he needs to know is whether or not he's made it to grammar school.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 11:53 am 
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MacPac wrote:
As bad as it makes me I think this is what I'm worried about most. Most of the children in my DS's year took the test. The school has a high pass rate and it will be awful for him to be one of the few that hasn't passed. He struggles to fit in as it is :( I've told my son I'm not going to tell him his mark even if he has by some miracle passed. All he needs to know is whether or not he's made it to grammar school.


I also worry about what will be said in the playground. I have told dd that not getting in is not reflection of her intelligence, it just means that she didn't do as well as she could have on the day.

I am glad to see I am not the only one unwilling to share my child's actual score with them. I have told my dd that I will tell her how she's done but not the actual score. She doesn't need to know the actual score. If she does well enough to get in to a grammar school, that's all she needs to know.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:42 pm 
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Location: Essex
Completely the opposite in our house re the actual score - I cannot imagine not telling DS2 what he got, be it good or bad. He knows that his brother passed well and his sister failed to get 303, but she has come out okay so far :) She had a really good year 7 at Cecil Jones (despite the journey, which the main reason why it was a school we hadn't even considered) and then in June got the chance to test for an in-year place at her first choice, SHSG, and achieved it. We try to talk about things as much as possible with our DC - more than once I have found that one of them has been more distressed by getting hold of the wrong end of the stick when something hadn't been discussed with them than they were with the actual problem...

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Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:52 pm 
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Whilst I hate to make the waiting worse, last year many people found that the result did not tell them one way or another whether their child would definitely get a grammar school place or not. The CSSE advice split scores into red, orange and green zones as to the likelihood of a place at each school. For those in the orange zone in particular there was another wait until March to find out if their DC had a place or not.
Even with a score in the green zone I would personally not tell my child they had passed as the cut off scores do vary from year to year. Only exceptional scores and those in southend catchment with a score over 303 can really be confident.


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