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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:43 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:24 pm
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This is my first post on this forum.

Since my daughter received her CEM results she has been quite emotional about the whole thing telling us she doesn't want to go to CCHS as she prefers a local comp where she says she'll fit in more. Although I do believe she would thrive academically at CCHS, I am concerned for her emotional development, particularly with adult mental health issues being suffered by other people in our close family.

I am afraid of pushing her into something and us all regretting it but also realise that an education there could be the making of her.

I have tried to arrange a visit to the school as our guide in June was not particularly informative or friendly (which i don't think has helped our daughter's perception of the school) but have been told this won't be possible.

A close friend has a daughter with an almost identical score and I can only imagine how choking it could be to watch her daughter skip off to cchs in sep whilst ours walks in the opposite direction to our local comp.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as we have now gathered all of the info available from other sources and are oh too aware that the buck stops with us!!

Thank you.


Last edited by Wilderness on Mon Oct 21, 2013 4:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:56 pm 
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I think that at age 11 you have to make the final decision.
If you were equally happy with both schools then leaving DC to choose is one thing but this is rather a bigger responsibility than that.
I am not convinced that a DC can really know where they would be happy in the long term.
Your DD might find the transition easier going with her school friends to a school were she can quite easily rise to the top academically but if a few years time will she be frustrated at disruption in lessons or lack of peer interaction at the top level.
( Have no idea about your local comp - these are just possibilities)

In any case is your DD's current behaviour a bit of self-preservation in case she doesn't get a place at the GS? Or peer pressure to go along with her friends?

It would be much easier to leave the GS later if you really aren't happy with it than to move the other way.

There are a few comments on here already from current parents. Maybe you could ask to PM one or two with specific concerns?

Most schools are pretty good these days if you have serious pastoral issues. Have you tried asking to speak to / email a member of senior management to talk about your concerns?

Personal opinion - If it were me then I would go for it because the regrets of not doing so would almost be certainly stay with me for a very long time.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:08 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:08 am
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My daughter was really stressed during the whole process. She cried a lot. I felt really felt terrible. I think it is a stressful time, I could see that it would be worrying for you. In the end I just said to her, we have come so far you have a little chance of getting a place in a. Grammar school, so we are going to try. I said it's more likely you will go to the comp but we will try any way. When finally she was offered a place off the waiting list, she cried and begged me not to make her go. I told her she was going and she told me she hated me. She is now in the grammar and is so happy. If she had hated it, I would have let her change school after year 7.

I think you have to go with what you feel is right. Of course if they really are not coping it's not worth it, as their health is a lot moe important. If it is just tears then you can work through that.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 10:08 am
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Wilderness - I have sent you a PM.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:04 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:24 pm
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Thank you so much for your advice.

My dd has always struggled to fit into friendships and can be easily intimidated by others. She said being around bossy intellectual girls all day every day would be her worst nightmare - her words, not mine. She is very much your average 10 year old - into X factor and trashy American teen tv - just happens to be bright academically and I also question how easily she may connect with the other girls.

She has 2 very good comps nearby for which we are catchment. She is opting for the slightly further one which only a few children have chosen, partly with a view to escaping some of the ones who have marred her junior education so far.

I think I may put cchs as preference. I know that if she doesn't get a place I will then be blaming myself for not doing enough prep with her.

I fear she is too far down the list for an offer.

Thanks so much for your time and I am glad your experience has turned out positive.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:38 pm
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Wilderness wrote:
Thank you so much for your advice.

My dd has always struggled to fit into friendships and can be easily intimidated by others. She said being around bossy intellectual girls all day every day would be her worst nightmare - her words, not mine. She is very much your average 10 year old - into X factor and trashy American teen tv - just happens to be bright academically and I also question how easily she may connect with the other girls.

She has 2 very good comps nearby for which we are catchment. She is opting for the slightly further one which only a few children have chosen, partly with a view to escaping some of the ones who have marred her junior education so far.

I think I may put cchs as preference. I know that if she doesn't get a place I will then be blaming myself for not doing enough prep with her.

I fear she is too far down the list for an offer.

Thanks so much for your time and I am glad your experience has turned out positive.


Well done to your DD! Are you in catchment for CCHS?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:50 pm 
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Thank you. Yes, in catchment but think an offer is looking unlikely. How about your dd?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:38 pm
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Wilderness wrote:
Thank you. Yes, in catchment but think an offer is looking unlikely. How about your dd?


My DD sat the test last year and she is in year 7.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:01 pm 
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Hope she's enjoying her year 7 so far!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Wilderness wrote:
Hope she's enjoying her year 7 so far!


Yes, she really enjoying so far! Did your DD sit for the CSSE 11+?


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