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 Post subject: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 7:35 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 4:19 pm
Posts: 69
I've not really discussed dd's desire to sit the 11 plus, not least because we only decided in July and also, I don't know, I just didn't feel like it. We aren't exactly surrounded by people who go to GS, have tried for one, etc. Also, invariably, whenever I have mentioned it, people are just incredibly negative. So, you know, why go there.

But, I can't, and wouldn't, stop my dd talking about it and it's also caused a bit of consternation because she is a twin and her sister is not doing the 11 plus (both their choice).

So I've largely avoided conversations outside the family about all this. Until today, when a parent came up to me and said "I hear X is doing the 11 plus" etc and then proceeded to tell me that unless she gets over 90%, she hasn't a chance in ****. She finished it off by saying "I didn't realise X was that academic, and you'd never catch me getting Y [her son] pushing him into something like that."

It shouldn't upset me but it has and I feel really deflated and up til now, it's largely (not wholly!) been a positive experience for us. But I now feel like I'm pressing my nose against a window of a shop I've no place in.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 7:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:11 am
Posts: 31
Hey, chin up!

You and your daughter are on this path for your reasons, ignore the comments from the ignorant, the jealous and the envious.

You stick with it, best of luck to your DD.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:00 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
She's a jealous, bitter and tactless individual. Take no notice. You are doing whats right for you guys and your girls will love you all the more for not making them take the same path when they didn't want to, and listening to their opinons on it. Well done you.
Both my twins did it, and both qualified, but ended up at different schools anyway - so far a REALLY positive experience


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:04 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:41 pm
Posts: 1008
At our old primaryschool about eight children sat the Latymer test in DD2's year. Maybe three had a real chance, but no-one discouraged the others (I gave a CEM book to the mum of one of DD's friends, knowing he wouldn't pass). I think that parent X is being incredibly rude to you. We let our children try/experience out all kinds of things, so why not 11+?
Some children can pass with only a small amount of practice, but due to the way tutoring is pushed most work on (and off) for about a year. Which type of test is she taking? You need to focus on that type. DD2 sat the St Michael's Grammar (English, Maths, VR and NVR) which we worked towards and she did well in, and the Latymer CEM test (12 hours work at most) and her GL work helped so would have gained a place comfortably, but with a much lower ranking. Practice timing, and stick to EXACTLY the style being tested. At my children's grammar school (Sunday Times State School of the Year this year) many children are the first in their family at a grammar school, and will probably be the first to University. I have a cousin whose family all left school at 16. She and her brother not only left school at 18 but went to university. He ended up as a lecturer at University and she became a minister in the Scottish Parliament. People should be given the freedom and respect to try things without being belittled! Good luck.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
Posts: 3579
Why would anyone be so rude. Can you imagine finding out a child was entering a cross country race and telling the parents off, as the child had no chance of winning as they were not athletic?

Let her have a go, give it her best shot and hold her head high for trying, whatever the result. Bless her for having the gumption to put herself forward, rather than stagnating in the corner and moaning about her lot!

Well done you for not saying anything snitty back. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:39 pm
Posts: 2080
Some people can be very unhelpful, negative, ignorant just because that's what they're like. I'd be annoyed too simply because it's none of her b***** business! Have a rant on here; you'll feel better.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 4:19 pm
Posts: 69
Thanks all. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:50 pm
Posts: 194
How rude! Some people need to think before opening their mouths. Just because it's not a route she would choose for her son no need to get uppity with you. You have done the right thing and let both of your DDs make their own decision. I hope your DD passes with flying colours and you enjoy that moment when you get to tell her :D


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:13 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:56 am
Posts: 97
Unfortunately in my experience parents are worse than children in this scenario. DD1 & 2 weren't privately tutored (we did some practice at home). DD1 was told in the playground 2 weeks before the exam "my mum says NOBODY can get in without a tutor" (all the other kids agreed) DD2 had a similar experience. Both DD's are now happily at grammars & got in very comfortably.

Only you know what is best for your child & what they are capable of. Ignore the detractors. Best of luck for the upcoming exam.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:16 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:42 pm
Posts: 3818
Location: Chelmsford and pleased
Trust yourself and your daughter. No one else matters.


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