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 Post subject: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:45 pm
Posts: 71
Had ds parents evening, and I have to say I came away extremely upset. My ds has always been under the radar, never really pushed to bring the best of himself to the surface and just coasts along at school. He has a very bright dd who attends CCHS and when she went to the same primary was always on g&t workshops, given advanced work and really motivated to excel. Now I always knew that my ds was just as capable and encouraged him to take the 11plus which he scored 344.899 which I think will almost certainly secure a place at Kegs, a huge achievement which I am so utterly proud of. Now his teacher has made me feel, by implying that his score may not be enough, and by also stating that the the tests he will be working towards now at school were extremely challenging last year for the very capable children and that he will really need to work to get close to their standards. I found it saddening that this is the opinion of my ds :cry:


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:55 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2015 4:11 pm
Posts: 173
There are times to ignore the school and go by your belief in your child. This sounds like that time has come.

Do the school exams count towards a place at the next school? If not, ignore them and be happy at his achievement.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:56 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2015 6:02 am
Posts: 26
I had a similar experience with my two boys. The oldest was clearly very academic from the outset and behaved accordingly at school and I was told consistently how well he was doing. My youngest however had some issues at primary school with behaviour mainly when he was being teased in the playground in the early years he had a bad habit of hitting out. His whole primary school career seemed to be tainted by this and it was all many teachers wanted to talk about at parents evening, so it was a huge surprise to me (and his teacher) when he came 2nd in the whole year for academic tests in year 5. He also passed the 11plus and is now at grammar school with his brother. I feel his academic ability was overlooked as all the teachers focussed on was one issue, and because he didn't necessarily fit into the academic mould. Ignore the negative comments, you know your child. Like you I always believed my DS was bright but was almost convinced by teachers ignoring his ability that he wasn't.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:25 am 
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Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 6:19 pm
Posts: 285
I think the vital thing here is that we can't ignore your own assessment of your DS. Grammar school is no joke and the pressure is intense. If you don't think he will push himself hard enough to deliver the goods, don't send him there. When DS was in yr 7 at CRGS there was a boy who was known for constantly getting low marks in all his tests. It became a joke amongst boys. Surely it would have knocked his confidence being in such a high pressure / achieving environment. You know your son better than anyone. He has done very well in his 11 plus. Question is: would he work hard enough if he goes to grammar school? If he is just going to comfortably sit under the radar....(your words) he may not have the best experience of an otherwise amazing school.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:31 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
Posts: 2826
Ignoring the whole 11+ thing for a moment, and playing devils advocate a bit, perhaps the teacher is trying to manage YOUR expectations about SATS? These were really hard last year, compared with the old style tests and lots of parents who expected their bright children to score well above the expected levels, were bitterly disappointed...lots of teachers I know were furious at the disparity between previous years and the huge jump the kids were expected to get. The teacher is urging caution in not celebrating a GS school place just yet and letting you know that achieving the levels in SATs is a tough job.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:48 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:45 pm
Posts: 71
I can totally understand about the expectations of grammar school, I now having reread my post I can see how I have portrayed my ds. I suppose I just wish that this week I could have just celebrated his score, maybe the parents evening was just at the wrong time for me. He knows that he will be working hard this year and he is quite fine with that.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:53 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2015 4:11 pm
Posts: 173
For many schools SATs are as much for the school's kudos as they are for the children's development. They need good SAT score for their reputation. Wouldn't be surprised if they pushed all the children and their parents into preparing hard for them. Call me cynical.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:46 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2015 9:09 am
Posts: 44
jojo2305-Congrats on fantastic score for your DS. I agree with other comments that schools are more worried about SATs and they are definitely getting tough. There can be other reason which may explain why your DS doesn't seems to enjoy at school?

My DS had bit similar issue at his previous school(his few friends left for independent and I suspect he became a loner-there were surely other reasons but he was not getting desired support from teachers which made him agitated I guess)-his performance dropped ,not enjoying at school and first time he was not willing to go to school . That was a turning point for us.

We changed his school in Yr 6 (in Jan this yr) and all of a sudden he changed again to his usual self. Made new friends-sometimes change of scenery helps.

Now he has just completed 6 weeks at SHSB and have settled well. Wakes up himself and willing to run away to school :)

So don't let any negative thoughts spoil this moment of happiness -I am sure he would be fine and congrats once again.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:49 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 11952
I think this says more about his current school than him.

Ignore it - he has done well and will have a fresh start at Secondary without this 'baggage'.

Perhaps he keeps a low profile because he is bored?


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling deflated
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:10 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
Guest55 wrote:
I think this says more about his current school than him.

Ignore it - he has done well and will have a fresh start at Secondary without this 'baggage'.

Perhaps he keeps a low profile because he is bored?


+1 :)


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