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PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:46 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:01 pm
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I'm hoping that someone can put my mind at rest. I'm trying so hard not to be an overprotective worrying mum, and failing fast. My daughter fortunately isn't concerned too much (hiding it well perhaps, or doing ostrich activity?).

Anyhow, a couple of weeks to go, and i'm beginning to think all kinds of evil thoughts ....what if she can't cope with the work? what if she qualified last on the list? what if the test result was a fluke? how will the transaction be from a small (65) state primary in sticks to city grammar? would it have helped if she had had some kind of tutoring just to prepare for the workload? and just how many blue or black pens does she need?

overall, all fairly trivial, and we should really just be counting our blessings that she has a place, thinking about the caring and positive words Pate's have encouraged us with, and getting excited about the new adventure.

we don't know anyone else starting this Sept, which i know isn't unusual, but it's not helping my nerves.....aaargh!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Dear Minimum, I don't belong on this section of the forum but I cannot leave you worrying without trying to placate your fears a bit!

I don't know anything in particular about Pates but I know a lot of children and how we as parents worry ourselves sick about them.

Your daughter has obviously worked hard and made you very proud. I would imagine that the last few months (or longer) have been stressful for all of you, and of course the worry never does end with the positive result does it?

I cannot say how your daughter will cope at her new school but I can assure you that there will be good and bad times, like there would be with any child at any school. You will be there to offer support when she needs it and that is the most important thing. The bad times might be the early mornings, the forgetting to do a homework, a friendship issue or the sheer amount of work to begin with.

And the good times? Undoubtedly there will be SO MANY! Making new friends, the challenge and pace of the lessons, the pride in wearing the uniform and attending that school etc etc etc.

Please try not to worry. She gained a place there and that wasn't a coincidence. Even if she was right at the bottom, there has apparently been research done which shows that those children benefit most from attending a selective school! As for tutoring to prepare herfor starting at the school, well I certainly don't think that is necessary. Have faith.

You are worrying because you care; you're a good parent. I'm sure that by Christmas you will see that it's all been worth it.

Take care x


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:12 am 
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Location: East Kent
I echo everything Ed's mum said !

she will be fine!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:57 am 
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Me too!!

It WILL all go well.

Enjoy the ride, I bet your daughter does!! :D

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:03 am 
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Joined: Sun May 13, 2007 8:03 pm
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Location: Gloucestershire
Hi,

minimum wrote:
would it have helped if she had had some kind of tutoring just to prepare for the workload?


If you find she needs this then please move her immediately to another school as she isn't suited to Pates (or probably any grammar).

I heard an appeal once where the parents said that they'd got lots of people lined up to support their child with extra tutoring if we allowed the appeal so their son could keep up with the other pupils. Not surprisingly, they'd also had lots of help to get son through the 11+ (and was also at a 'loads of tutoring' private school). I wasn't impressed. Please don't forget children need down time - there will be loads of homework anyway.

Don't forget though that the difference between top of the class and bottom is a lot less in a grammar school than a comp (or private school), so although individual children may have problems with one subject, by and large they all cope really well (assuming they're of grammar calibre to start with). If there is a problem with one subject then the school will no doubt help and make suggestions.

I'm sure your daughter will have a fun time. They'll soon make friends - I'm still friends with a lad I met on the train to school on the introduction day some 36 years ago, and your daughter may have already done the same. My DD is somewhat excited at the prospect of so many new friends - most of whom will no doubt be as whacky and mildly eccentric as her!

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 Post subject: year 7 pates
PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:15 am 
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Please do not worry.Our DD passed for Pates but we chose Stratford Girls Grammar instead (single sex and nicer surroundings). She was in the middle of the 120 but the head at Pates did tell us that there were very few marks separating the 120 and that there was no future correlation between their ranking in the 120 and future achievement.
This is bourne out by those children at Stratford whose position we do know where not all of them achieve results that one might have expected. So I do not think you have to worry even if your DC was at the "bottom" of the intake.
Reagarding the standard of work, they are only going to be doing GCSEs in 5 years time and the standard of these is not very demanding. The head at Pates also told us that he would like to shorten key stage 3 because the children at Pates do not need to go so slowly (we even know of comps in essex where the head would like to have KS3 as one year and get on with some proper work after that.Pates were also playing with the idea of perhaps in the future eradicating GCSEs and doing 7 or 8 ASs instead.
Our experience of year 7 is that DD has learnt very little especially in maths so your DC should not find the next year too demanding.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:01 pm
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capers123 wrote:
Hi,

minimum wrote:
would it have helped if she had had some kind of tutoring just to prepare for the workload?

Quote:
If you find she needs this then please move her immediately to another school as she isn't suited to Pates (or probably any grammar).


thanks for all the replies - i'm feeling calmer about it all now. Capers, we were not planning at all on having a tutor; she didn't have one to help with the test; but i sometimes feel that her small primary school education may disadvantage her overall general knowledge. just a feeling when thinking about those from prep schools and with tutors....but my instinct and hope is that they will all have gaps and the first year will be spent filling those in.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 1:17 pm 
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a friend of mine whose son is going into Y8 there did say that he struggled intially cf private school children who had indeed had a wider education than the one provided through the narrow funnel of the NC. However she is a teacher and takes it all in her stride (her daughter went there too and has just got a first from Cambridge) saying that all that evens itself out by y8. Try not to worry, I'm sure it will all go fine.

My boy didn't do spectacularly well academically in his grammar in Y7, it was such a culture shock (up at half 6 rather than 8.20, bus ride, homework, kids from 60+ other primary schools etc etc) but the delightful head of year doesn't care at all, says Y7 is for the social side too, that he's thrilled to see my boy always chatting and laughing and surrounded by people and that that is important too. I've given him this year off, so to speak, but will expect more application next year. His intelligence isn't in doubt but, for him, there's so much more to life and learning than Motte and Bailey castles. We need to find a balance (!) but as in all areas of life, it's a learning curve and it'd be dull if it all just slotted into place perfectly from the off. Please say it would be dull :cry: :? ??!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:59 pm 
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My nephew attend s Pate's and will be in yr9 in Sept. He went from a small class and he was quite shy. But as far as I know he didn't have any problems settling in. In fact he told me that in the first year the genders tend to stick to their own and rarely cross communicate!!

I think your DD will be fine! I am sure she is a confident person and will settle down quickly - don't forget she will probably be quite excited about going to a new school. Just take things in your stride and deal with any issues as and when they come up. I am a born worrier and that's what I have learned to do! I have realised worrying doesn't solve anything especially since you may be worrying for nothing!!

Good luck and all the best to your DD - I'm sure she will have a great time!!


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:31 pm 
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..............


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