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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:33 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:21 pm
Posts: 139
Need a little rant. My son is the only child in his school who passed the grammar school test for any school, we are seriously considering Pates being ranked in the mid 120s. I have tried to be humble and positive to the other parents whose children didn't get a place. But it is hard as I have met with a lot of negativity mainly along with the lines of that is too far, too much of a commitment, he needs to be part of the local community, it will be too tough there for him etc etc. Along with some issues with the in-laws who feel we should put him into a school where he will be top rather than average. I don't tell other parents that they have made the wrong choice what is it about the word Pates that brings out the worst in other parents or is it just me?

My Mum was a widow who worked 3 jobs to send me and my brother to private schools 15 miles from home she would have killed for a GS so making these commitments in time and money for my kid seem natural. I dont criticise others for not doing it, it is our choice and he did qualify. Rant over sorry. I am sure it is just me although everyone outside the school is just delighted for him.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
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Location: london
slackmum wrote:
My son is the only child in his school who passed the grammar school test for any school,
.


Which is why they are making the comments. Do what you decide is right, safe in the knowledge that you the one with your son's best interests at heart. We all have different views based on our own experiences and situations, and we all subconsciously talk up/down the relative merits of those situations in order to reassure ourselves that we are doing our best. Good luck

_________________
mad?


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:56 pm
Posts: 431
Awwww, see that is not good pet. People can be funny about it. I have met this too, and from mums who did not even have kids sitting the test this year. I do feel some of this could be sour grapes (no disrespect to anyone on the forum intented) on certain peoples parts.

The best thing is it will all die down soon. Your DS will be off and away to Pates and having the time of his life, leaving the negativity well and truely behind. Your child has worked hard. Do not allow kill joys to dampen your happiness. Ignore the 'too far' comments. If you are happy with the travel, so what? As for the 'part of the community' well he will be mixing with kids from everywhere, being a part of the rich tapestry of life and learning. He's not leaving home :D

You enjoy it darling and do NOT let these, probably well intentioned, individuals get you down, or your son. You are giving him all the options and YOU alone know what is best for him. Of course he will cope, he passed well and is capable of the work.

Relax and take it in your stride. I just smile sweetly and say "oh well, I;m sure we'll manage!" :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:49 pm 
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Thanks for that. I did point out that he wasn't going to be boarding, he will still go to Scouts, play rugby and tennis in the community. The choice of school was left entirely in his hands and we did a proper pros and cons list. Iif he is prepared to commit himself knowing the challenges we must support him.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:51 pm 
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Absolutely!!! How far do you have to travel? I am wondering about travel to Pates myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:55 pm 
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15 miles but will actually leave home at the same time as he would for his local GS, we will have to drive him 4 miles to pick up the dedicated coach and pay for it of course!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:59 pm 
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It is very expensive I think :( Out of my price range
I am thinking about public transport (though we only have 6 miles to go) and I am SCARED!! Traffic/abductions/bullying :shock:

Oh I'll shut up!! I am hi-jacking your post!!

:?


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 6:35 pm
Posts: 609
Hi slackmum, don't listen to people telling you stories when they may not know the facts. Both of my children attend Pates, they are both about middle of their classes and love every minute of their school life.

They have lives outside school, inside school, and plenty of time for everything. I have been transporting my son since y7,now in upper 6th, to and from school a total of 20 miles each way. we leave home about 7.55 and get to school about 8.30.This has not been a problem, and I will have to continue until my DD leaves and she has just gone into y8!!

The time and money spent is worth it- for them to have an outstanding education, and most of all to fit in, and be valued in a caring school,where only parents' whose kids attend can tell you the honest truth.


In other words, you have a place there, snatch it, and be ever so grateful that your son did the business, you have a lot of happy years ahead of you as a Pate's parent.

(everso)proud mum x2 xx


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:54 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:42 pm
Posts: 3818
Location: Chelmsford and pleased
Not my county anymore, but send him to Pates, be happy. We had some stick from parents too and DC got lots from other children. They are now in schools where they are happier than they have ever been. They enjoy lessons aimed at their level of intellect. DD does sometimes worry about not being top, but we reassure her that just by being there she is already top. DS never seems to notice this sort of thing anyway. Had we stayed in Cheltenham I would have put DC in Pates as it is an outstanding school.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:17 pm
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I have never heard anybody with a child at Pates say anything bad about it.


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