Feeling insecure negative comments
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Since finding out our result, I too have encountered the "put down" comments about Pates - generally referring to it as a "hot house" with a very strict environment and kids who look as though they did not want to be there!! And the faked concern about the transport issue. And all second hand from parents who had not even gone to visit and see for themselves!!! I have really found out who my true friends are .... 
My own impressions and opinions from parents with children at the school (ie those that know!) were the complete opposite and that's what I am basing my decision on. Oh and the fact that my ds loved everything about the school .....
My own impressions and opinions from parents with children at the school (ie those that know!) were the complete opposite and that's what I am basing my decision on. Oh and the fact that my ds loved everything about the school .....
Pushkin
I know I might get flamed for this but here goes
The major problem is that some parents have 'driven' their children so hard to get into Pates that the wheels (for some) fall off later. I have had to deal with this fallout emotionally in my job. It is what I call 'pushy parent syndrome' where some seem to live their lives through the acheivement of their offspring.
So long as your child is not in this category they will flourish I am sure. The amount of falling out in the playground by some frankly childish parents is flabbergasting but happens every year and it most likely results from their own insecurities and the fact they see this as some sort of personal failure.
I made sure my daughter was not pushed, it may have lost the Pates Place but so what she may still get Denmark Road and be happier for it. She was not coached (apart from the last six weeks prior to exam)
If you can honestly say to yourself that you did not push your child then Pates is the right place as they are obviously capable. It is my opinion that the hot housed stressed pupils are not the result of the school they are the result of the parents.
The major problem is that some parents have 'driven' their children so hard to get into Pates that the wheels (for some) fall off later. I have had to deal with this fallout emotionally in my job. It is what I call 'pushy parent syndrome' where some seem to live their lives through the acheivement of their offspring.
So long as your child is not in this category they will flourish I am sure. The amount of falling out in the playground by some frankly childish parents is flabbergasting but happens every year and it most likely results from their own insecurities and the fact they see this as some sort of personal failure.
I made sure my daughter was not pushed, it may have lost the Pates Place but so what she may still get Denmark Road and be happier for it. She was not coached (apart from the last six weeks prior to exam)
If you can honestly say to yourself that you did not push your child then Pates is the right place as they are obviously capable. It is my opinion that the hot housed stressed pupils are not the result of the school they are the result of the parents.
hot house
I agree entirely that the onlypeople tro listen to are thos with children there rather than those who may, just may, have a reason to find fault with teh school for other reasons (like their child was not offered a place). It is NOT a perfect school - but ask those who go there whether it is a really good school.
The pushy parent syndrome is just as prevalent in all Grammar Schools in Gloucs, from my experience. Some do too much prep for the test - I would say it isn't too early to start at Easter of year 5 myself and that isn't 'hot housing' - but they may well end up at any of the Gloucs Grammars as lots of prep does not guarantee a place at Pate's (even if you wanted it) - just ask the may people posting on here!
I would be wary of saying that more kids at Pate's have the 'wheels come off' than at other schools - that is very difficult to judge and a few people's anecdotes might not tell the tale. Unfortunately, our children will go through GCSEs etc and they are pressured. From reading the Pate's website this weeek, it looks like thay are going to spend three years on GCSE rather than two and have lots of regular Activity 'Afternoons' etc. Having longer to cover the syllabus at a mre relaxeed pace and having more timetabled 'fun' might reduce the pressure even more.
We are very lucky that the local Grams and the local Comps (mainly) are outstanding.
The pushy parent syndrome is just as prevalent in all Grammar Schools in Gloucs, from my experience. Some do too much prep for the test - I would say it isn't too early to start at Easter of year 5 myself and that isn't 'hot housing' - but they may well end up at any of the Gloucs Grammars as lots of prep does not guarantee a place at Pate's (even if you wanted it) - just ask the may people posting on here!
I would be wary of saying that more kids at Pate's have the 'wheels come off' than at other schools - that is very difficult to judge and a few people's anecdotes might not tell the tale. Unfortunately, our children will go through GCSEs etc and they are pressured. From reading the Pate's website this weeek, it looks like thay are going to spend three years on GCSE rather than two and have lots of regular Activity 'Afternoons' etc. Having longer to cover the syllabus at a mre relaxeed pace and having more timetabled 'fun' might reduce the pressure even more.
We are very lucky that the local Grams and the local Comps (mainly) are outstanding.
Pate's - negative comments
Over a number of years and in all sorts of ways, I have learned a great deal about Pate's. I have had more limited dealingss with other schools in the area but I do know that, despite continued Council meddling, many of our schools continue to thrive.
I can reassure you that Pate's is not a hot house in any way. The students do aim for the highest grades and see that they need to work hard to get to Oxford, med school etc. However, the school has become increasingly focused on pastoral care in the last few years and I have been very impressed with the staff, counsellor, tutors etc. It looks like it is a direction that the new Head started the school on after tiny bit of complacency before he took over four (or three - not sure) years ago.
Their results seem to get better every year with nearly 30 off to Oxbridge and more than that to Med school this year.
The extra curricular side of Pate's is the real strength but I do feel they are bad at marketing it!
Although new to this Forum (never knew it existed) - happy to help, if I can.
I think that for many the new system of letters and test before offers is helpful but for some it is just as, if not more, painful as ever.
RS
I can reassure you that Pate's is not a hot house in any way. The students do aim for the highest grades and see that they need to work hard to get to Oxford, med school etc. However, the school has become increasingly focused on pastoral care in the last few years and I have been very impressed with the staff, counsellor, tutors etc. It looks like it is a direction that the new Head started the school on after tiny bit of complacency before he took over four (or three - not sure) years ago.
Their results seem to get better every year with nearly 30 off to Oxbridge and more than that to Med school this year.
The extra curricular side of Pate's is the real strength but I do feel they are bad at marketing it!
Although new to this Forum (never knew it existed) - happy to help, if I can.
I think that for many the new system of letters and test before offers is helpful but for some it is just as, if not more, painful as ever.
RS
What I was really saying is that hot housing is often down to parents not school. This is where the majority of the emotional problems come from NOT from the school itself. I have been very impressed with the postoral care of Pates and I know that they are all too aware of the pressure that can be generated from home. This will inevitably also be the case in other grammar schools so I would agree it is not limited to a single school
I know this is controversial when this forum is jammed full of parents who just want the best for their children and some who have tutored their children extensively to get to these schools. I also know of someone who tutored from Year 5 which I personally feel is bonkers
Like it or not (in my job) I have seen many who reach puberty and then begin to resent the pressure being put on them from some parents who seem to want to live simply through the acheivements of their children. These children then do have some difficulty and some end up with adjustment disorders.
I am proud because I have a daughter who has a decent score but importantly did so because she wanted to NOT because I aspired to it for her. She also did it with 6 weeks of tutoring.
In a way I am appealing to parents to look within themselves and consider who is 'hot housing' my child? I sincerely doubt it is the school iteslf...
I know this is controversial when this forum is jammed full of parents who just want the best for their children and some who have tutored their children extensively to get to these schools. I also know of someone who tutored from Year 5 which I personally feel is bonkers
Like it or not (in my job) I have seen many who reach puberty and then begin to resent the pressure being put on them from some parents who seem to want to live simply through the acheivements of their children. These children then do have some difficulty and some end up with adjustment disorders.
I am proud because I have a daughter who has a decent score but importantly did so because she wanted to NOT because I aspired to it for her. She also did it with 6 weeks of tutoring.
In a way I am appealing to parents to look within themselves and consider who is 'hot housing' my child? I sincerely doubt it is the school iteslf...
Other parents, blimey, yes! Lots have been just lovely, and obviously pleased for us but some, my jaw drops. One "friend" blanked me for about 4 days (and her son the same with my son) others have been quick to say "they wouldn't have wanted it anyway." You just have to take it. Wish them well. Be glad that in, what, 8 months, they will be part of your past not your present. Their bad behaviour, not yours.
Thanks again for the support he was certainly not tutored to within an inch of his life (know of some kids who started in year 4) in fact we didnt pay for any tutoring instead familiarised him with the type of question from the start of this term doing a maximum of 10 minutes per day. I too am against children who are artifically brought up to the pass rate if they would struggle once in the GS system.
Second the choice was left ENTIRELY up to him in fact he rejected my favourite school as well as the one that all his mates will go to. I know my son and know he will flourish in this environment he is confident, sporty, a bit left field with a thirst for knowledge. If he doesn't like it I will pull him out. I will completely reappraise the whole situation with DS2 with his personality in mind although thank god I dont have to think about that for another 6 years.
Of course the move up from primary school is going to be a challenge - there are only 70 kids in his school now and it is 2 minutes from our home - but it is actually the extra curricular stuff at Pates that appeals.
Second the choice was left ENTIRELY up to him in fact he rejected my favourite school as well as the one that all his mates will go to. I know my son and know he will flourish in this environment he is confident, sporty, a bit left field with a thirst for knowledge. If he doesn't like it I will pull him out. I will completely reappraise the whole situation with DS2 with his personality in mind although thank god I dont have to think about that for another 6 years.
Of course the move up from primary school is going to be a challenge - there are only 70 kids in his school now and it is 2 minutes from our home - but it is actually the extra curricular stuff at Pates that appeals.
Keep your dignity be polite and ignore what they say to you! I have only ever fallen out with one adult friend and that is when she took it upon herself to tell me I was sending DS to the wrong school, an opinion that hadn't been asked for! I smiled sweetly, she tried to argue with me, I wouldn't and we haven't spoken since. Sad I know but where your child goes to school is a decision for you and your family and nobody else has the right to question your decision.
Chin up and keep smiling.
Chin up and keep smiling.
