The only person I really don't want to discuss it with is my sister-in-law. My brother understands perfectly well, but his wife is a bit of a militant believer that all children ought to go to their local schools regardless of how good/bad/ugly they are. They live a very long way away and we only see them once a year or so. I am hoping that if it comes up in conversation I can just say "She decided she wanted to go to an all girls' school" (which is perfectly true) and hope she will let it go at that.
In a number of counties, children do go to their local secondary school, so some people find it difficult to understand why you would want to send your child to a school which is further afield than your "local".
I congratulate every DC who has achieved a place at a Grammar School, and do not believe anyone should have to justify sending your child to a GS. That is the education system in Gloucestershire - you are given a choice so you have the right to use it
Debs, isn't it sad when you have to justify doing the best for your child. In principle I don't believe in grammar schools (I don't think) and I believe in sending to the local school and I believe in everyone having access to a great education but sadly I'm not living in a utopian society and I want to do the best for my child with what is available so off we head to Tommies. Sister in laws, mother in laws, so called friends. Why are people so judgemental? I'm sure they did what they considered right for their child and so are you. Ignore the detractors and enjoy the sisterhood on this forum. Time this sister did some more chores
Thanks for the support, both of you.
I won't let her get to me. Most of the time when I see her we find enough things to talk about where there's not going to be any conflict. She's got loads of good points - in particular she's very hospitable, and very helpful to people in difficulties - she's just, as I say, militant about education. I remember just before her eldest moved up from his little village primary to their nearest comp, she told me it was a pretty rough school and she thought her son would find it a bit of a shock, but she gave me the impression she was pleased that he'd be discovering that the world is not all as nice as their village. So I'm not sure that she did "do what she considered right for her child" - I think she's one of the rare people who chose her child's school according to what she thought was right on principle, and right for the nation's education system, and her children had to lump it.
She knows that in Gloucestershire we have a choice about schools, but I rather get the impression that she thinks it's immoral of parents to take advantage of that choice. I know she disagrees even more with the choice my parents made to send my brothers and me to independent schools, and I have another brother who sent his kids to independent school too, so I imagine she's long since decided that it's a lost cause hoping people in our family will make educational decisions that she approves of!
I'm firmly in the "choosing the school I think is best for my child" camp myself, but I can't see that I'm doing anybody any harm by sending DD to HSFG. We live in the Balcarras catchment, so by sending DD to HSFG I am freeing up a much sought-after place at a heavily over-subscribed school for some child who is probably thrilled to have got it. Perhaps she would say that I should be concerned also about the detrimental effect of that child's non-appearance on the school they would otherwise have gone to, but I'm not going to feel guilty about something so tenuous.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law, I'm happy to say, are thrilled about DD going to HSFG, and have said all the congratulatory things one could hope for.