Is it crazy to turn down Pates?

[Amber]

It is a school.

If you have one you are happy with on your doorstep, why look further? People turn places there down every year. And other people send their kids across county boundaries for hours every day to go there. Each will tell you they have no regrets.

[Weaver]

We had this unexpected situation last year - shared the result with Pates just for interest and never dreamt she'd get in. However, my DD had been keen on HSFG from the outset, and in the end, that's what we went with. It just felt right to her, she can get a local bus, and be quite independent. And she loves it.

So in the end, it's what feels right for each child and family, isn't it?

[That said, I certainly prefer a short commute over a long one!]

All the best with your decision - it's a very fortunate place to be

[FluffyCat]

Sunflowers - go and look at both schools again this week and see which one feels like the best fit for your DS. Your commute to either is short compared to those who are prepared to come from places as far away as Bristol every day. Only you and your DS know what is right for you. My DS happily leaves at 7.30 and is back by 4.15 having had a lovely, social time on the bus. She chose Pate's over SHS fully knowing the implications and like everyone else who has commented, she has never regretted it.

Trust your instincts and go with what feels right for you. Good luck!

[EmeraldE]

My DC's both wanted STR when we started this process. They both passed for Pates (in different years). Much debating ensued. In the end it was the co-ed that swung it for us. You might like to think about any other kids you have coming up through the primary and into secondary system and where they might go to. I wanted mine at same school, for ease really, and so it was big decision to go for Pates having no idea if DC 2 would pass. In the end I am so glad we did. They love Pates and have a short car journey to get there so travel not an issue.
It is hard to turn down, it really is. Visit both, it feels different to you and DC when you know either is a 'goer' as opposed to distant dream Enjoy

PS. DS1 got quite upset when we encouraged him to make the decision himself. Very heavy responsibility for a child hence family decision here. In retrospect the best approach for us.

[PaterGloucester]

Each will tell you they have no regrets.

And each would be 100% right. Aren't people wonderful ?

[PaterGloucester]

DS1 got quite upset when we encouraged him to make the decision himself. Very heavy responsibility for a child hence family decision here. In retrospect the best approach for us.

I know each child is different, but I also think it's is too great a responsibility to be laid on the shoulders of an 11 year old. Certainly take as much input from them as possible, but make it clear that the final decision will be the result of a three way process led by you and significant other. (Of course if you're in agreement with their choice you can play it anyway you like).

Usually a walk around Pates followed by a comparison walk around the competing school cements decisions in young minds. But hey, if my child violently did not wish to go to a school, and had valid reasons, then I'd listen…

This hasn't helped much, has it ?

[Samdigs]

Of course its not crazy HOWEVER... do it for the right reasons.

Last year DS unexpectedly was in the top 120 for pates. It was a total surprise.

DS was a very nervous boy, who would have prefered to go to another school because his friends went there.

After a lot of thought (an awful lot!! ) we opted for pates because it was the best choice for him.

Looking back we cant believe we thought about it so long...pates is fantastic. Yes he leaves a bit early (stonehouse) but he has developed so much and his confidence has developed so much. He has a great set of friends at pates and settled in immediately, which was a great relief.

He now has the best of both worlds with his friends - he still has his original friends from primary school, and also has a great group of friends at pates

I really cant speak highly enough about Pates and more importantly neither can my son.

[dr.watson]

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[mumoffin]

Of course its not crazy HOWEVER... do it for the right reasons.

Last year DS unexpectedly was in the top 120 for pates. It was a total surprise.

DS was a very nervous boy, who would have prefered to go to another school because his friends went there.

After a lot of thought (an awful lot!! ) we opted for pates because it was the best choice for him.

Looking back we cant believe we thought about it so long...pates is fantastic. Yes he leaves a bit early (stonehouse) but he has developed so much and his confidence has developed so much. He has a great set of friends at pates and settled in immediately, which was a great relief.

He now has the best of both worlds with his friends - he still has his original friends from primary school, and also has a great group of friends at pates

I really cant speak highly enough about Pates and more importantly neither can my son.

I have been lurking on this thread as I am in this position also and am so glad I read this. Think we'd have a few reservations about any making any school our 'first preference' without giving him HUGE thought, it just seems such a big step and an important decision. We were in awe of Pates when we attended the open eveing and to be thruthful didn't think we'd stand a chance of getting in. Now we are fortunate enough to have a choice it all feels a little overwhelming. I think a mixed school (regardless of which school-obv Pates being the only mixed Grammar) over an all boys school will suit my son best so that also helps our decision. However Tommy's is much closer... Thanks for the great post

[Dixon]

Samdigs and Sunflower I've PM'd you.