Bright but anti practice

[littlebaker]

Ok, we've finally started a bit of practice at home with mixed response. I've only started with the IPS papers and my DS does really well but my word is it hard work. It takes as long to encourage him to sit down and apply himself as he actually spends doing any questions. He resists from the off and gives up as soon as he can't see an instant answer. We're south Bristol and have no tutors nearby that would be appropriate for Glouc and money is tight so I'd really like to crack this at home but I'm losing the will to live. He's top of his class at school, gets the 21 types and loves doing the type z!! But if he can't see an answer straight away or doesn't feel like working I end up pulling my hair out and wondering why I'm doing this. Not sure if we'll make it to October (and we're only doing 30 mins once a week!). Any suggestions?

[yoyo123]

bribery?

perhaps you could do some of them together, or you could have a race.

[ToadMum]

You probably have done this, but have you (and more importantly your DS) actually been to see the grammar schools, and your local schools, yet? It might help if he had a strong idea of what he is working towards (assuming that he sets his sights on a particular GS or the GSs in general) - or at least what you want him to work at getting away from, if you want him to travel that distance to school?

(Then try bribery, of course...).

[littlebaker]

To be honest, and I'm going to get a lot of grief for saying this, we haven't been to see the GS because I was worried that by playing them up the disappointment of not getting in would be so much worse. Our local comp is kind of/sort of/nearly adequate and we may end up there, I really don't want my DS to think he's missed out on something so much better or that he's failed me in any way. I would never make him feel bad for not passing but we've tried to keep the options light to keep any pressure off him. He's very sensitive. I'll try bribery for the time being and see how we get on.

[moved]

I opted out with my two. DS pretended to do some papers. Usually told me he'd made one or two errors. He admitted later that he'd only done a couple. He was fine when it came to the exam. He's continued to turn my hair white ever since!

[dr.watson]

have you tried to enroll on online lessons

[ginx]

We started with online questions which we did together. My dd thought she was really clever when she managed to do them alone. We also did very little and not very often.

I used to read about dp's doing so much work with their children, I thought my dd had no chance, we did so little by comparison. But she seems to have scraped a pass.

I can only suggest not too much and bribery ... have you tried Bond 10 minute papers? Good luck!

[pixiequeen]

If your nerves will hold, why don't you give up on the papers for now? Try and encourage him to learn some new vocab and to practice times tables but it is still quite early to be doing papers - we are waiting until at least the new year, if not Easter (DD2 this time, DD1 already in Y8 at SHS). There is also a chance that if you appear to just drop the whole thing, that he will eventually ask why. Then you can try a little reverse psychology and suggest you thought he wasn't really interested in sitting the exam...and you may find he actually asks to continue with the work...obviously only you know how your child might react to that.

There are lots of other things you could be doing to prepare him that may be more acceptable to him - games, reading, you've said he already gets the 21 diff. question types, so are speed and organisation likely to be an issue? Could you have races to get things done? Can you teach him to think around any new question types that might come up by playing logic games or doing puzzle books? Perhaps rewarding perserverance if that is an issue. Yes obviously he will need to practice actual papers at some point but I really believe that a lot of the skills needed to pass can be learnt in other ways.

Good luck
Pixiequeen

[Amber]

Slightly controversially perhaps: but could it be that he doesn't fancy going to a school some very large distance from where he lives? I am guessing that will be an hour and a half each way - a huge undertaking. Or maybe I have misunderstood and you would move - in which case perhaps he is worried about leaving his friends and where he has grown up? Just a thought.

Agree on not showing the school though; for me that was never going to be a good idea. Wait and see what your choices are, and then show the child if you believe it should have a say, at that stage. Can't see the point in showing something they might never get 'to motivate them': raising the stakes like that would just increase the disappointment if they were unsuccessful, imho.

[StJamesDad]

I would say that going to see the schools is very important.

We looked at 2 GS's with DD2 and as DD1 was at the local comp she had a good idea of what that was like.
The 2 GS options (for a girl) we looked at were very different, and DD2 very much wanted one of them.
I feel this played a big part in her eventually doing well in the test.

I think DC's need to know what it is they are aiming for. You cannot fully protect them from a low score, only do your best towards a high one.
If you play it down (by not looking at the actual schools) do you not run the risk of your DS being able to say (or feel) that he would have tried harder if he had known how nice the school one of his friends goes to was?

Rewards/bribery can work wonders as long as they are implemented well.

As always, what works best depends on the individual child. I hope you find the right path through all of this and do well on the day