This time next week...

Eleven Plus (11+) in Gloucestershire (Glos)

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Amber
Posts: 8058
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 am

Re: This time next week...

Post by Amber »

Sunshine 11 wrote:I One of her friends has been told she will receive an Iphone 6 but only if she qualifies...
Sorry, I think that is absolutely appalling and feel very sorry for that child. Talk about giving out the wrong messages. :(


Good luck to all - and I shall issue my now annual plea for the lucky ones to remind their offspring how others might be feeling. :D
RedVelvet
Posts: 546
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:06 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by RedVelvet »

Amber wrote:


Good luck to all - and I shall issue my now annual plea for the lucky ones to remind their offspring how others might be feeling. :D

And the parents too...
Kismet
Posts: 195
Joined: Wed May 07, 2014 8:23 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by Kismet »

I'm a bit concerned as DS is refusing to go to open day at local comp. We have been before but he has developed a rather superior attitude towards it and this can only have come from the playground. Part of his argument is that the open day clashes with a club and I can understand that aspect but his determination not to go that school worries me. Especially as he will definitely have friends going there even if he doesn't. One of the risks I know I face is that if he does attend GS he may develop a snobbish attitude which I definitely definitely do not want to condone. For one thing, there is always the chance that DD may end up at the comp soon enough.

Re gifting, we matched DS' savings and shared the cost to buy him second hand tablet which he'd been nagging us for. We gave it soon after the test to reward him for working hard through the sunshine and not moaning (too much).

I found myself saying to DS, when he was being negative about the comp, ' what are you going to do if you don't pass the test' so I may have made him conscious of the imminence. Oops. I just don't want him to turn his nose up at those who don't go to GS. I've explained to him in the past that many children who are perfectly capable of passing 11+ choose to go to comp anyway.

I do worry about all these stories of self harm etc. Why do the children put so much pressure on themselves even when we try not to. Argh!
doogievx
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:35 am

Re: This time next week...

Post by doogievx »

Sunshine 11 wrote:I bought DD some lovely earrings which we will give her Friday morning and tell her we are proud of her no matter what the results and we know she tried her hardest which is all we could possibly ask for. One of her friends has been told she will receive an Iphone 6 but only if she qualifies, a bit harsh, they can't control how everyone else did and really that is all it comes down to !

I took DD to Chelt Lit festival after school yesterday, friends over today, scouts tomorrow and a friend over on Thurs so hopefully it will have kept her distracted. Hoping the next few days fly by for you all. x
I myself have offered a gift in the form of an iPhone to my DD and as far as she is concerned she will only receive it if she is successful in her exam, she will however receive it regardless of the result due to her great hard work and effort. :idea:

I felt that I needed to make this offer to give my DD a boost and a further incentive to really go for it as she had hit a brick wall and this offer seemed to do the trick. :D

In summary, I don’t think its right to comment or judge a childs parents based on playground talk and without knowing the full facts as this childs parents may well have the same plan as me! :evil: If my DD is unsuccessful then it will be a lovely surprise on the day and will help soften the blow.
NancyB
Posts: 83
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:29 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by NancyB »

Sunshine 11 wrote:One of her friends has been told she will receive an Iphone 6 but only if she qualifies, a bit harsh, they can't control how everyone else did and really that is all it comes down to !
So the Appeals forum may have a topic in a few months time: "Help needed for Glos appeal".

"My daughter was so stressed out in the test because she was worrying all through it about not getting an iPhone 6. We took her to the GP who diagnosed severe anxiety".

It's an IQ test - her parents are rewarding her for the level of intelligence she has? Unreal!
Amber
Posts: 8058
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 am

Re: This time next week...

Post by Amber »

doogievx wrote:In summary, I don’t think its right to comment or judge a childs parents based on playground talk and without knowing the full facts as this childs parents may well have the same plan as me! :evil: If my DD is unsuccessful then it will be a lovely surprise on the day and will help soften the blow.
This doesn't make it any more palatable to me - it is the sort of ploy you can only use once as if your daughter isn't successful she will know you deceived her with a bribe and that you will reward her anyway no matter how badly she performs in future. And if she is successful she can justifiably say, next time she is finding revision a bit tough, 'what will you buy me if I pass?'. It is up to individual parents what they do (and how much they are prepared to pay to do it. I couldn't afford an iPhone 6 for myself, let alone a child!). But in the end children have to learn to find reward in the achievement itself and no amount of prizes will feel better than getting a stack of good exam results. In the end it's what you're comfortable with - let's hope the friends of these richly rewarded children don't start leaning on their parents for expensive trinkets to add to their success.

Good luck to your daughter either way though.
doogievx
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:35 am

Re: This time next week...

Post by doogievx »

Thank you Amber, good luck to your daughter too!
stroudydad
Posts: 2246
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:25 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by stroudydad »

I have to say that I don't see a problem rewarding hard work, but only if the person works hard without bribery. We rewarded our DC Immediately after the test.. Daughter got given a broom handle and some small spray paints. And I think son got a Pokemon card from eBay.... Their biggest reward of course was knowing they had tried their best to achieve something.
Tinnyknickers
Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2013 6:22 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by Tinnyknickers »

We are rewarding our DS as well, not for the result but for the tremendous effort he put in all summer long without complaint. I defy any parent to say they haven't used bribery at some point but it was encouragement to put the work in.

Regarding the iPhone, all ours get a phone of some kind in year 6 before they head up to secondary school. DS has an old iPhone 4 which does not yet have a sim! He is learning to be responsible!
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: This time next week...

Post by kenyancowgirl »

Lol Amber...I read your statement that you couldn't afford an iphone for yourself, or a child as "I can't afford a child" and I was thinking - no, me either - these kids are blinking expensive!!

And...stroudydad.... "a broom handle"? No broom?!! :wink:
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