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 Post subject: Is tutoring a bad thing?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 8:19 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 23, 2015 6:15 pm
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Our son has just got a place at Marling. He wasn't tutored though he sat a mock exam and had feedback. He has always been bright.

His sister is one school year behind and in our tiny village in the same class. She is summer born. She is very keen to go to SHS or RH. Our school is very against selective education and when our son got a place at Marling advised him to go with his friends to Rednock and be happy. His year is a total of 9 children.

The reason I mention the school's attitude is because I can't ask them. I have found an experienced tutor and she has offered to start sessions with her, weekly, straight after school as she is so young. She is 9 until August next year. 2 was before 11+.

She is very keen to go (unlike her brother who wanted Pate or Rednock as co-ed) and I'd say whilst not effortlessly top of class is comfortably middle.

I notice on the appeals info that the panel question whether a child is tutored.

Any thoughts or advice appreciated.

Thanks
Harry


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 9:06 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
There is no real difference between you preparing her at home and a third person preparing her. If you choose to have someone else do it that is your business and as a parent we do what we need to for our dcs.

I don't mend my own car but my father used to and we had to help.

I pay someone else to do that for me while I do other things that I am better at.

Does that mean that my father was a better person than me because he could mend his own car? Of course not.

An experienced tutor who can help your dd realise her dream is wonderful.

Grasp that opportunity with both hands and don't let it go.

All over North London there are hundreds of students who found out on Tuesday that they had not got through to the second round of HBS or got a high enough rank at DAO or Laytmer to get a place.

Hundreds of other students found that they had.

I know of many students who worked really hard all over the summer to secure those places. Of course there were others who were disappointed but a much larger percentage did get through than did not.

If your dd works hard with a tutor who understands the exam format she has a good chance of doing well and getting a place.

Her motivation to do well will be a very important part of how well she does. The drive to excel is fantastic and should be encouraged.

I am sorry to hear that your school thinks that those who go to selective education are not happy. What a terrible and flawed message.

I know lots and lots of students in selective education including my own dds in Y11 and Y12 and they are very happy indeed!

Some of their friends from primary school who did not get the opportunity envy them their rich lives in Sport and Music and Drama but others would not have wanted to work as hard as they do and feel sorry for them!

Your dd sounds like the perfect fit for selective education. Do let us know how she gets on. DG


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 4:40 pm 
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I have two at selective schools, one tutored and one not. The DC who was tutored got a lot more out of than just 11+ prep, lots of useful exam prep, time management skills and strategies which have helped generally since the 11+ (DC now in year 8 ). My eldest DC, now in year 11 , wasn't tutored but was recently asked at school open evening by some prospective parents whether he thought tutoring was a good thing. He said that he thought tutoring was definitely a good idea (he is one of a very small number in his year who wasn't tutored).


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:09 pm 
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scaredycat wrote:
I have two at selective schools, one tutored and one not. The DC who was tutored got a lot more out of than just 11+ prep, lots of useful exam prep, time management skills and strategies which have helped generally since the 11+ (DC now in year 8 ). My eldest DC, now in year 11 , wasn't tutored but was recently asked at school open evening by some prospective parents whether he thought tutoring was a good thing. He said that he thought tutoring was definitely a good idea (he is one of a very small number in his year who wasn't tutored).


Presumably he was home tutored though? In that, you didn't just pitch up on the day and take the exam?

I think the question here isn't totally clear. It maybe should be about whether children are prepared, whether DIY (still tutoring) or paid tutor, vs doing absolutely nothing and turning up on exam day with no preparation whatsoever. The latter is extremely rare I would have thought. Buying papers or question books and sitting at home doing them is still tutoring, and to me represents a sensible thing to do. You'd never enter any other exam unprepared, or if you did, you'd expect not to do as well as those who are prepared, so why do it for the 11+?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:24 pm 
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If you can afford to have your DD tutored and you have found a reputable tutor then go for it. If your DD is around the middle of her year group then okay some would say Grammar isn't the place for her however these things are relative. It may be a high performing school. It also may be because she is one of the younger DC.

Gloucester do the CEM test now so this should help DD with her maths and English and expect to see improvement in these areas if the tutor is oing her job well.

Worse case scenario as scaredycat has said it will prepare your DD for the future. It should also raise her SATs levels ( I know these are changing but there will be assessments) and will put her in a stronger position if they are used for setting should she go to a comprehensive instead.

It is your DD so your choice which school she goes to and if she wants to have a go and younare happy with that you are right to support her :)


Last edited by Tolstoy on Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 5:36 pm
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No Yasmin, he wasn't! Trust me, we learnt the hard way, having to go to appeal. We were so naive it's almost unbelievable when I look back. He's one of the top in his year now. That's the reason we were so anxious to get dc2 tutored. Dc1 really did just rock up on exam day and we thought, what will be will be. It very nearly wasn't, hence our insurance policy second time around. I hadn't discovered the 11+ forum in those days of dc1 so was much more careful to do my research second time around. That's also the reason why we didn't diy it second time, my nerves couldn't have coped with it. I still feel guilty now for putting him through such a traumatic time :(


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:34 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 5:58 pm
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I taught my DS and also paid for tutoring. Mainly because I couldn't teach him NVR.
My son came out with a L6 Maths and 5A in English. Although he has always been a high achiever I strongly believe the tutoring solidified the foundation for grammar.
He loves his school and has settled in quickly with a few achievement points under his belt. I thought he would have found it difficult because we were previously OOC.
I am definitely going to repeat the same process for my DD.
Please do tutor whether you DIY or get a tutor. I won't send either of my DC to an 11 plus exam without some form of tutoring including mock exams.
Wishing you the best whatever you decision


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:31 am 
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I think we will. I have begun doing some work with her at home and she is very bright and motivated. She seems stronger in verbal comp which her brother found harder.

I'm so glad we got her brother some exam practice as he literally had no idea. We were like the lady who went straight in cold. It was only a friend with a son at Marling saying exam practice was a must. Some schools offer this but not ours as they are firmly against selective education.

Her teacher would describe her as above average and capable of higher work. She is just behind the brightest girl her brother tells me (he is in her class as small village school). I think she has suffered a bit with a class with lots of boys, other year groups, and 3 with special needs and exhibiting demanding behaviour. And the fact she is so young in her year group. The brighter girl is nearly a whole year older.

Thank you everyone.

Harry


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:38 am 
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I think you have made the right decision it sounds as if she does have the potential. Our DC have attended village primaries and I totally understand why DC like your DD can slip through the net a little.
Goodluck :)


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:44 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
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Ours were in tiny village primary too. It wasn't that the school was especially against selective education, but as a school in the state system they couldn't justify doing anything to support it since half of the class didn't take the exam and you can't use state system time to train for an unnecessary exam. Since we have three GS within a few miles, in spite of this being a rural area, all who 'can' will take the exam, so that's generally at least half the class, but no extra support from school.


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