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 Post subject: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:14 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:01 am
Posts: 31
We have been offered a place at our good local comp, it has a great reputation and is a 10 minute bus journey from our house. My son was very close to aging a place at Marling, he is more than likely going to be offered a place during reconsideration.

Marling would mean driving 10 mins to the bus stop every morning then a 25 minute bus journey, (there are no direct buses from where we live in Gloucester).

Our other child attends a grammar closer to our home...and the comp we have been offered is close to this and is a great school.

I don't know why but I now have cold feet about putting Marling down for reconsideration! I just don't know what to do. I would be turning down an outstanding grammar for a good comp but I don't know if it's worth the journey. Oh and I need to send the forms in today really!

What would you do?


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:09 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 8:27 am
Posts: 340
To be honest, either would probably be great. You are in an enviable position of having 2 good schools.

Sometimes we tear our hair out over these decisions, but in this case, really, he is probably going to do well at either.

ds is at Marling. It is a good school we have been very happy with it. He travels a long way, because all the comps near us are crap. So he is 1 hour door to door. It is a lot of traveling, and he would love to be in the position of not having to travel. It is made slightly better by the fact he is good friends with someone who lives close to us, that has helped a lot.

In my ds case, he is very peer influenced, and at his primary it was not cool to be clever. I felt that for him he needed to be in a place where it was admired to be clever, and there was some academic competition, and very firm behavioural guidelines. Marling has both of those, and he is flourishing.

dd1 is going to SHS in sept, and although I am delighted that she got in etc, to be honest, because of her personality, she would do well at the local comp, if, as in your case, it was a good one.

My firm conclusion is pick the school for the child. Where do you think he will flourish?
And maybe ask him?


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:11 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 5923
Jellyicecream wrote:
What would you do?
Take the comp. No question.


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 2:49 pm
Posts: 28
Does your son have a preference between the two schools? Does the Comp have good results for their high attainers? (check on Dept of Ed website) Is there something in particular that Marling offers that the comp doesn't for example a particular sport, music, drama, language etc.?

I think if your son doesn't have a strong wish to go to Marling and if the comp has good results for it's high attainers then I think I'd go with the comp.

Is the comp usually oversubscribed? If they aren't and you are feeling very strongly about Marling then maybe you could go with Marling knowing that if the journey turned out to be really awful he could switch, to the Comp? Obviously not something to do unless you really think that Marling will be best for him but having it as a worst case scenario plan might take some of the stress away.


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:41 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:01 am
Posts: 31
Thanks everyone. My son is easily distracted, a bit quirky (likes to memorise bus timetables and dates) but slightly lazy! He doesn't like to stand out from the crowd and I am worried he will be embarrassed to show his knowledge at a normal comp, and maybe slightly more distracted.

He likes both schools the same. I know my other son would've hated the travelling.

However the comp in question is very much into tennis which my son loves. I went to a bad comp and it was definitely not cool to be clever.

However I would be pleased if we still got the comp after reconsideration.

Will look at the high attainers.

Need to stop dithering and decide!


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:54 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2012 11:20 am
Posts: 196
Jellyicecream wrote:
What would you do?


Sit down and have a frank discussion with DS.

Things to consider:- Does he mind making the journey, (for at least the next 5 years) and are any friends going to the GS (assuming friends will be going to Comp) he could travel with? What after school clubs are run by both schools that he might like to attend? Do you know how much homework each school will give every night? Is he likely to be selected to play sports matches on weekends/after school or attend music/choir/amateur dramatics concerts after school? You will have to make the journey to attend parents evenings and maybe other social events. Hard decision to make for both of you - good luck.


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 12:44 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:01 am
Posts: 31
Do you know if there is much movement for reconsideration?

If you were in 9th on the waiting list do you think that means you are likely to be offered a place after reconsideration?

I think Marling might be slightly better for him but I really don't know if that outweighs the extra travel, I don't want to feel like I'm not offering him the best chance.

Thanks everyone.


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 5:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:28 am
Posts: 1775
[quote="Jellyicecream"]Thanks everyone. My son is easily distracted, a bit quirky (likes to memorise bus timetables and dates) but slightly lazy! He doesn't like to stand out from the crowd and I am worried he will be embarrassed to show his knowledge at a normal comp, and maybe slightly more distracted.



Until I saw that, I was going to say choosing the comp would be a no-brainer. However, after seeing the firm and fair way my also easily-distracted son is treated at STRS I would say grammar. It also stretches him academically, which I'm not sure would have been the case at our local comp. I'm not familiar with Marling, but would imagine it is similar.

It is very important of course the have the discussion with your DS to take his opinion into consideration. I wouldn't let friendships cloud issues either as they soon change anyway. I agree with Cazien's points also. One important issue is, how does he feel about a single sex school? it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Those travel times aren't a biggie to be honest once he gets into the swing of it.

Good luck


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 8:11 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:30 pm
Posts: 27
Which good comp is it?

I don't think the travelling time is significant.

Many travel longer.

It does sound like your son will do well wherever he goes.

My DS is going to Marling. He needs discipline and stretching and inspiring. I'm not confident our local comp will do that and everyone leaves after gcse's which I don't want.



Good luck with your decision.


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 Post subject: Re: Dilemma
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:38 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:01 am
Posts: 31
St. Peter's, we are RC.


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