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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 12:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:08 pm
Posts: 105
DS got his 3rd choice BM & looks to have squeaked into Band A. He's delighted as 13 kids from his class are going... Despite liking the school very much, it feels galling to be going to a school where he only needed to put his name on the paper to get a place! He's in a good position for his 2nd choice Ricky, 16th on academic. We think this is the best school for him, he's very arty. This would be a commute, 35/40 min bus ride. But where he wouldn't know anyone. From the open eve, it did seem that they would make efforts to help everyone integrate. The other possibility is Queens, we have a place of 11th on waiting list but we felt that this wouldn't be the school for him. We are not making any quick decisions but I am very cross that he doesn't want to 'go for it' and remain on the list for Ricky. BTW we are a distant 48 for WGSB! We never got his maths up to 11plus standard, although his VR was on form.

The other issue is that we fell in love with Ricky but we only ever saw it on the open eve and may be viewing our memories with rose tinted glasses!

I feel as though I am wasting a lot of psychological energy on this, everyone is telling me to go with what DS wants, I am feeling more ****** minded about it but fear the consequences of making an 'executive decision'.

So apart from getting ACAS in, can anyone help me with this?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:09 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:06 pm
Posts: 87
Location: West Watford
This is quite tricky, I do feel for you. There are a few days in hand I think though, before you risk losing the BM place by not cancelling your continuing interest / lose a potential waiting list place by cancelling etc.

I would be wary of insisting on a school my child didn't want because it could come back to bite at the first and subsequent things that went wrong. (And there's always something). On the other hand, at this point, year 6 children get very focused on where their friends are going and I have known children very upset at getting their first choice when they're the only one going there. It does all sort itself out of course but it may be skewing his perspective at the moment. The other thing is that his friends may end up not going to BM because they take up waiting list places elsewhere - as did happen to a friend of mine.

Could you maybe have a bit of a compromise and say you'll arrange visits to all the schools in the next 10 days to give a better picture before deciding? Some schools get a bit grumpy about visits at this time, but they can't actually refuse!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:02 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:54 am
Posts: 542
Personally I would go with what you feel is right for your son not necessarily what he wants. After all they are still only 10/11 years old, very young to be making such an important decision.

If you feel Ricky is right for him and you are 11th on the waiting list, I would persue that. He will probably move up the list once everyone has either sent in or not their continued interest form. Meanwhile I'm pretty sure you can accept BM in the meantime.

Don't worry too much about the friendship issue. Yes of course it's important but friendships change a lot in yr 7 and most schools do a lot to integrate all new children.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 6696
Location: Herts
It is your job as a parent to see the bigger picture. A ten year old cannot imagine that he will make new friends and feel as happy as he does now in primary school. One friend of mine blames her parents for letting her choose to go with her friends to an average school when she had the opportunity to go to a better one. She llooks back and shudders at the idea that they let a ten year old choose. Last year I idd an evening class with a lovely 17 year old who, once again, blamed his parents for letting him choose the school with his friends rather than the better one. Stay on all the waiting lists and if a place comes up grab it with both hands. DG


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:50 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:08 pm
Posts: 105
I did post a thank you to CJ (somehow got lost) and many thanks for the subsequent posts. I have rung the admissions office this AM and found out that the lowest score on offers day was 222 at Ricky. A waiting list position of 16th (218) based on previous years is very 'borderline'. Anyone know someone who is planning to turn their offer down at Ricky or hanging out for a higher ranked school???

We have 10 days to decide what to do; we'll definitely accept BM. I have a number of a friend of a friend who has a son at Ricky so that I can find out a bit more about pastoral support. There's a summer concert we can go to to see the school in daylight next week.

I am hearing lots of reassuring things about BM and I am confident that he'll settle easily. I think what is weighing on me is the responsibility that this may be a defining moment... that a few more points at GCSE will make a difference... to the A levels... to the choice of university... career.

I know I should be careful for what I wish for, but I do wish I had a crystal ball in working order (or the gift of foresight)!

I don't think my son would do well at Queens - 2 open evenings and 1 tour later I am yet to be convinced. The DT looked great but I was very disappointed in the achievement of boys Vs girls in languages. Although he's a 'joiner-inner' I think he might be demoralised if he is in a low set for sport - there's some excellent sporty kids going from his school who play at a high level.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:43 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:10 pm
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If you are 16th on waiting list for Ricky I feel you have an excellent just of getting a place. Just be aware that if you chose to stay on CI list and Ricky offer you a place you will automatically lose your place at BM so you must be very sure. I am sure this is the case now perhaps someone else can confirm this. Nearly all my friends children attend Ricky who generally consider it a decent school. What it does do really well is Drama, its productions are amazing.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:32 pm
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My son joined Ricky in September - coming from a school that had noone else going to it.
It really is the most amazing school and my son is loving it, he has settled in well - and friendships are forming.
He is heavily involved in the drama and music (in the concert you mention next week).
I know last year a child ranked 18 academic got in.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:08 pm
Posts: 105
Hixie many thanks, mank thanks for your comment. Wow this forum is great for info like that. Can I ask you a question, I was flipping through their brochure and noticed that the form groups are 26 - does this mean that they are taught in groups of 26 too?

I actually feel as though I am coming out of the cloud of indecision - it's been weighing heavily as I mentioned before. No one can live with this tension for long!

I spoke to the head-teacher at his primary school and she looked me in the eye and said that I should hang onto the bitter end - this is what I wanted to hear! I don't think she was being critical about any of the other schools in our area (which are pretty good) but could see the stubborn glint in my eye.

Also it was interesting hearing her agree with me that DS's lack of maturity may have got in the way of more focused academic achievement (in the tests). The boys who got into WGSB (4 from the school) already seem to be captains of industry - and this is at 10 or 11! He does seem to need another year to mature.


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