Page 1 of 4

What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:31 am
by cindrella
IT probably is simple but my conscience is confused, pleas suggest an opinion.

THis friend of mine is preparing her DC for the same tests as me - Latymer. And she has requested me quite a few times to share all my papers, even Latymers . The thing is that I want to share, but my DS is using them right now. And also when I give her the Latymer papers I am only reducing my sons chances/ or making him one place short to Latymer. Her DS is clever enough to do that. Her Dc has outsmarted and passed MCHC already.

Should I be selfish for my son this one time? Should I just give my papers let them practice and leave it to luck! :?

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:48 am
by Pumpkin Pie
I would just be honest and say that you are using them at the moment. Really, she should be buying her own papers and not relying on you! Look after number one, your DC. Good luck with the exams! x

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:25 pm
by dragonfeet
A friend probably wouldn't ask, they might expect!.

The purpose of borrowing your papers is to equipt their dc to pass the exam. If that means your dc does not get in, then that's life.

Latymers were selling the papers at their open evening. Was like a fish market!
I am pretty certain the school will supply your friend with papers if she asks.

Sometimes with friends, you may decide to call the school on her behalf and arrange it for her. STOP! Wait!.. your helping again! aarrgh!!!

Better to say the paper are still in use, (and the photocopier is broken).

Naturally, Look after your dc first, and good luck to all who have exams.
DF

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:57 pm
by hermanmunster
Say - yes that's fine, I'll pop them round on <insert day after Latymer exam> :wink:

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:09 pm
by cindrella
Ha! I like that one .. :D
people say ..what goes round comes round.. scarry! as long as my son doesn't get it for what I do -I hope god understands! :shock:

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:13 pm
by cindrella
She did not go for the open evening just handed the form to another friend who was going!
Last year I had another spare set of 'hand me down papers' and someone asked me for them - I did not tell her that it was my 'spare' and told her to return it .... guess what ? they never even came back! so you see how selfish people are .. so what isf I am once too! Only for my dear son.

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:54 pm
by Daogroupie
So can you explain to us why this woman is your friend? What is it that she does for you to make you want to have her as a friend. Why should you buy papers that she then gets to use? Why is she not buying her own? Has she lent you any papers? And for your other so called friend who walked off with your other papers, just keep on until she gives them back and do not lend her anything again. I would repeatedly text her until she returns them. Why don't you tell your original friend that you are using the papers and she needs to buy her own. DG

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:04 pm
by tiffinboys
My DC is also taking the test this year. I would give anyone list of papers that we did or want to do (in next few hours.. :lol: ), but sorry can't lend these sets. I have been helping the friends and on forum about our preparation. But if some one ask for our set of papers, then sorry, these are being used by my DC and I don't like to photocopy for others as obviously it is not right. After 2015, I will gratefully give these to the first person who ask for these sets and clear my loft.

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 10:10 am
by cindrella
Lesson learnt! The hard way, This first friend was the one who was my 4th door neighbour - years ago. and she kind of advised me about all the process children have to go through when my kids were only 3 -4 yrs old. so I must say she made me aware of keeping up the game right from the beginning. I never thought she will never return my papers but i still did not take the chance and passed on only my spares to her.
But this one, she doesn't drive so she has to ask favours sometimes. and umm.. yeah she is somebody who I cannot avoid even if I wished to because our kids are in the same school and same year and she lives close by! Yes, I will have to say 'no' - and nicely, not to offend her in any way!

I advise anybody not to ask and not to lend! If you really care, then go and buy them, even if you find them expensive! or don't bother at all.
Only ask when none of their children need it.

Re: What should one do?

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 10:31 am
by RationalityRules
I feel differently. I have shared any resources I have been able to find and I hope that they have been helpful to the parents and children. As long as you are helping your child to the best of your and their ability, I think it is kind to help others to do the same. That is a personal opinion and I respect that other people's opinions differ from mine. Everyone must do what they feel is right for themselves and their families. RR