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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:42 am 
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My two sons were helping at an open evening last week. A student was taking a small group of families round the school, which, inevitably, was crowded and busy. They reached one classroom building and a father said loudly 'This is dreadful, no son of mine is coming here!' and stomped off, with his wife/partner and son in his wake. The student immediately concluded that 'we don't want people like that here anyway, thanks', but was really quite shocked.
If you don't like the school, fine, don't apply there, but I think there is absolutely no excuse for being rude to a child (a child!) who is giving up his time to show you around. If you are expecting the playing fields of Eton in a state funded grammar school, perhaps it's time to wake up.
Anyone else witnessed appalling behaviour by parents at open days?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:56 am 
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Location: london
grumpyoldbookworm wrote:
Anyone else witnessed appalling behaviour by parents at open days?

Yes, repeatedly! From the very irritating talking during presentations, talking loudly to DC so that everyone else can hear about how wonderful DC is, bragging 'oh great we'll be OK then because you're bright/we live.../we're catholic/your head teacher said so...in front of other DC, being unable/unwilling to manage the behaviour of their unruly children at all (and why they couldn't get a sitter for the other 4 just this once I will never know), barging past and knocking over a child on crutches in a bid to get their DC to the front of the DT demo and, my personal bete noir, monopolising whoever they think is the 'key player' with a string of tedious and irrelevant questions with absolutely no regard for other parents, children and the 'key player' themselves.
In fact, at two open days I got a terribly negative impression which I fear was really clouded by the behaviour of the other parents in 'our group'. Rather alarmingly, one of these was the school which DD2 is now at, our first choice. Luckily for me (and her!) because DD1 was already there I knew that they and their children were not representative of the school at all. Indeed in the tube on the way home I consoled DD2 who had had rather a 'bruising' experience with them that there was no need to worry as they probably wouldn't get in, especially as they had monopolised the admissions secretary so much at the end she probably had their cards marked. Churlish and immature but made me feel better!
As for rudeness to a child in those circumstances that is absolutely unforgiveable.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:05 am 
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Thanks for sharing, I was a bit worried as well, as I experienced this at an open day we attended a couple of weeks ago, a mother shouting for the whole group to know (talking to her dd) how good dd is at playing instruments. Oh you wont have a problem dd because you are sporty, you are fab in this and that, oh we know almost every other parent here, oh your whole class will be coming here. shameful really, this gave us a distorted view of the sch.

Thanks to a mum on the forum that mentioned my complaint to the head of the school, we have been invited back for a one on one view of the school.

good manners just escape some people.

If you do not get the chance to see a school properly, you can try and book another appt to see the school in action at another time.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:15 am 
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most of the time they are just needing to convince themselves of

a) that their child is wonderful
b) that the school will take them


best thing is to walk up to them, and say
"there there dear, we know your child is the best we have ever seen , no need for YOU to continue on the school tour as they will have a place anyway. Just pop over there to the men in white coats - they'll give you some tablets and take you home"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:26 am 
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I had a mum trying to entertain a young daughter during the head's talk last week. I will give full credit to the Mum for sitting near the back of the hall, but I did find it a little off-putting.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:27 am 
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hermanmunster wrote:
"there there dear, we know your child is the best we have ever seen , no need for YOU to continue on the school tour as they will have a place anyway. Just pop over there to the men in white coats - they'll give you some tablets and take you home"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:35 am 
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We had a similar thread running last year. Obnoxious parents being rude to Yr7 guides at MGS.

MGGS open night tonight. Please be nice to the guides. My DD is one of them.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:38 am 
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blessedmum wrote:
oh we know almost every other parent here, oh your whole class will be coming here.

It is for DC (and DPs) to feel a bit excluded by this sort of behaviour. I was much more prepared for it with DD2 so when she wnet to her exams and interviews (most of which were at the weekend) I warned her that there would be lots of children with stripy blazers and more medals than a war hero behaving in a somewhat, ahem, overconfident manner (as were their parents...the manner not the blazers!). When she asked why, I told her it was not their fault, that they had been poorly brought up and that their parents mistakenly thought it would give them a better chance of getting into the schools if they had lots of badges and a stripy coat. I think it actually gave her confidence to think that there were such ridiculous things being done and as we waited to go into the interviews we were able to pass the time quite enjoyably by trying to spot the most ridiculously attired child. :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:02 am 
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This post made me laugh, I havent really met any of these parents perhaps because when I looked round the schools it was quiet in the summer and I think there is a stampede now to view schools. Its one obnoxious Head I met, who thought his school was the greatest thing since sliced bread. No problem with that you would think but it was very off putting and patronising sounding like the school would be doing us a favour offering our children a place. Grapevine suggest this Head is good but lacks PR skills with parents.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:04 am 
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mad? wrote:
I warned her that there would be lots of children with stripy blazers and more medals than a war hero behaving in a somewhat, ahem, overconfident manner (as were their parents...the manner not the blazers!). When she asked why, I told her it was not their fault, that they had been poorly brought up and that their parents mistakenly thought it would give them a better chance of getting into the schools if they had lots of badges and a stripy coat.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
We went for an informal int yesterday and I was taken aback when i saw a girl waiting for her interview with a huge case of certificates and medals. Luckily my dd went to that sch before moving to her current sch. she said "oh mum, here comes ....... school with their over the top behaviour"

The int lasted 15 minutes and all we were told was the new assessments process, if we had any questions about the school, how dd was feeling coming to senior sch and finally if she thought the opened day gave her the chnace to see every part of the school.

we were told this does not form part of the assessment process at all and it was just a chance of a one on one for us to ask any questions about the school plus the fact that the assessment process had changed.

I could not help but feel sorry for the girl with her huge folder and medals waiting outside.


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