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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:18 pm
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I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but I am experiencing almost guilt that ds passed and others didn't.
I don't know what to say to other parents whose dc didn't and worry that I am saying the wrong thing.

Not one parent has congratulated my ds and I am keeping my head down in the playground.
My dd didn't pass two years ago, I still went up to the parents/ children that did, I do know how it feels from both sides.

The school has banned the dc from discussing it , I think this is fair enough, I just cannot understand the bad feeling that seems to be flying around.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:04 pm 
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I'm sure after half term things will get back to normal but there is always the problem of playground politics. You have nothing to feel guilty about only pride in your son's success. True friends will be pleased and tell you so - don't worry about the rest!!! Well done to your son from me!!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:11 pm 
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Thank you, I just hope this hasn't caused a huge rift with everyone.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:17 pm 
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I can understand emotions running high to start with but if it causes a long term rift these people really don't deserve your friendship! I get so cross with playground politics as it so upsetting for the nicest people!!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:02 pm 
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Congratulations on passing!

In our school, everyone was asking each other who had passed (2/3 of those who took it passed) or not, and these were the children! Those who failed were pleased for those who had passed. I'm sorry no-one has congratulated you - jealousy perhaps?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:31 pm 
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Thanks for congrats! I don't know , my ds had such a tough two years and I am amazed that he passed, despite a pretty awful situation going on in the background. I thought that I would feel happier than this- very few parents talk to me anyway( we joined school in yr 3) and quite cliquey, but I sense outright hostility now! Maybe I am being paranoid...


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:23 pm 
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lurker - i am sorry you havnt had any congrats - people can be strange and jealous i think. Children work hard to pass and if the day goes well they get the result they deserve. My dd failed the kent test last year but i was quick to contratulate the children and parents of those that passed. A few weeks later dd did pass the medway one and some of the kids at school turned round and said to her that their mums had said shed only passed as i had sent her to a tutor for the last year. Thats ok if she had gone to a tutor - i have nothing against dc's having tutors, but my dd worked hard at school and at home with me and passed. It felt like those parents just wern't happy for dd and me. As i said people are strange!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:52 pm 
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That's awful tiredmum- what a way for them to teach their children to treat others as well. Hope your dd realised it was just jealousy.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:12 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
Lurker I tried to find an old thread about this same thing but I couldnt find it.

I havent said congratulations to anyone in school. I know two girls so far who passed but I dont really talk to their parents so felt it would be OTT to now go and talk to them and say congrats. If these are people you know and talk to then its just not very nice but who cares your daughter passed and you must be very proud. I think it is sad that success isnt celebrated and its the whole ethos in the schools now that you must all be average. My DD is in a house team that has always been last but she brings medals every year. I really wonder what they are for. To make all kids feel good, duh!

There is no reason for you to feel guilty at all, I hope you have a gulty free half term with your DS and enjoy the well deserved success.

Twisting things a bit though dont you guys think us failures deserve a bit off ah "sorry your dc didnt make it". I cant help feeling some glares I get sometimes esp from the ones that didnt bother are saying "yipee you got what you deserved for your clever offspring". The next day after results I just wanted to go in and melt away as quick as I could from the playground. Its such an emotional time for everyone and I am sure after half term feelings will have settled, CAF forms filled so life will be back to normal again.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:18 pm
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You're right, I would do this but someone recently posted about how she hated people dong this 'as if someone had died'!
I am paranoid now that I will say the wrong thing. All the children have tried so hard and done well , pass or not. My dd didn't pass a couple of years ago and it turned out to be a positive for her in the end, but I do remember how utterly devastated I felt at the time.


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