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 Post subject: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:51 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 99
While DD brushing her teeth last night I explained what 11+ work we would be doing in the morning and she broke down.

She explained she felt it was all too much and she had no control of what was happening. :oops: How bad did I feel !
I congratulated her on being able to tell me so honestly and asked her what she would like to do. Dreading that she would say 'drop the whole idea'.
Instead she said she wanted to control what and when she works. More dread.
I said we will abandon work tomorrow and talk more in the morning. She went to bed the happiest she has been in ages. :oops:

This morning she sat down and dictated what she will do on each weekend before the hols. Which subjects she will do on each weekday of the hols and for how long.
She was so organised.
She chose to do a full 50 minute test on each Monday then a 30 minute test on Tuesdays. Wednesdays and Thursdays are the daily tests and Fridays are for going over any corrections.

No prompting or cajoling required.


I couldn't do a better job myself


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:59 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
Well done her! That does seem quite a lot, though - is she aiming at a super-selective?


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:01 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 59
err... is this work for now? or during the summer holiday?
it is an awful lot.
when is her scheduled time for school work, clubs and sport, seeing friends and doing nothing?
I would be worried that she is not suitable for grammar if she has to do that amount of work to pass the test.
and completely stressed out about it now? she's got 3 months to go! You're at risk of burn out imo.


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:35 pm 
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Oh it sounds fine for the holidays. It doesn't sound like too much; if she wants to be prepared and feel like she did her best then whatever the outcome then what she has planned is the best way not to feel stressed. I remember my stepson doing a Bond paper each morning (or equivalent) on holiday before we went out for the day ....... it didn't seem onerous to him; and better still it got him out of the after breakfast chores.

The important thing is your end of it to make the time she spends most effective so she's not just practising practising for the sake of it, but is learning from the exercise and that it progresses her maths and helps her enjoy it more whether or not she passes the Kent 11+.


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 4:53 pm 
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I agree with Mystery.

Chocolatey Mum, your daughter will do well if she is that motivated and organized. She will clearly tell you if she feels it's too much and you will clearly be there to listen. And you sound like the sort of mum who would handle the situation sensitively if you thought your DD was over-doing it.

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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:14 pm 
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Your daughter has chalked out a fantastic plan and best part is she will stick with it. My son does the same amount now with all the clubs, HW and just chilling out. :) Know your child's endurance because each one can has their own capacity. Some kids can't sit still for even for 10 mins and some would sit for two hours happily. This is no reflection on a child's intelligence. My ds1 was can sit at one go where as ds2 is bored in 10 mins. So kudos to your dd, Chocolatey Mum, she knows how much is too much. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:44 pm 
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My DS did pretty much the same amount in the summer holidays...the practice tests/ papers first thing in the morning and then going over them later on in the afternoon. It only takes about 90 minutes out of the whole day and he knew the work was only required up until the test and then he would be able to relax.....I kept stressing that this was just one small point in time to really pull it out of the bag....didn't like to break the news to him tests are never ending at secondary and then you hit your GCSEs !!


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 99
Thank you all for your comments.

I should have explained that this plan was for the hols.

She sees a tutor on Saturday for Maths and we have been doing about 30 minutes on VR or NVR when she finishes with the tutor. Thus my conversation with her yesterday.

She is cutting back on the work we do after the tutor to every other week until the summer hols when the weekday plan kicks in.

So plenty of time for play/homework/friends/nothing during the term and she would like to work straight after breakfast in the hols to leave us the rest of the day to do other things.

I forgot to mention our 2 week family holiday is in middle of the summer holidays therefore she will only be working for 2 weeks before we go and then 2 weeks when we return. She has also requested we ease off in the last week of August and no work other then her tutor once the new term starts.

Hope this explains things and I don't come accross as a harridan. :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:31 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
Redsnapper wrote:
I would be worried that she is not suitable for grammar if she has to do that amount of work to pass the test.


Really I dont think so, any child who passes IMHO deserves the place. It doesn't matter how much work you do, sometimes they are just not cut for the mustard so I don't see how doing a lot means a child may not be suitable if they do PASS.

Good luck Chocolatey mum, we were in this position last year and it feels rather odd now that its been nearly a year since our DCs took the test, just how time flies. There will be plenty of time to sleep, play and do nothing next year so don't feel bad if you think what you are doing is what your DC may need.

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 Post subject: Re: Ashamed but so proud
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:04 pm 
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Posts: 3664
I agree Sherry, it seems a lifetime ago ours sat the test and I really can't seem to remember all the stress and hard work....I'm even excited at doing it with DS2 now !

My advice is not to worry about doing too much.As long as your child isn't a gibbering wreck you can't possibly know at this stage whether you are doing too much work...you just do what you feel you need to do and you can reassess after they have taken the test ! :) I'd rather push the boat out and then know afterwards We'd done everything possible regardless of the outcome.Also, I feel now with DS2 I just want to get him through the test as they then have a whole year to mature and develop ...Ds1 has continued to come on leaps and bounds and is definitely going to be ok for grammar .


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