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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:36 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 261
I had put off doing the bond placement tests with my daughter until after house move. Then other, related, things have slightly got in the way. Anyway, she did them yesterday. Unfortunately, I did NOT do a very good job of hiding my horror from myself. This led me to completely overreact her not doing a maths task I'd set 'quickly enough' or even be able to verbalise her thoughts as to how to approach it.
This led to my inevitable guilt and I turned to the forums for support. Unlike previous browsings, I couldn't find anything to pick me up. So I am writing this for future ranters.
I thought about reasons for the lower-than-expected results; very recent house move, disrupted study routine - hasn't actually done anything since before Christmas except times tables exercises, new school, hasn't done anything under test conditions in ages, I practically snatched the pencil out of her hands when the time for the test was up.

Hmmmmm yes I came to the same conclusion - that it was my own fault. I went against my instinct of leaving it for a few days more because of grammar-schooled OH insistence that she is nowhere near the level needs to be and how highly he was scoring this far ahead of his test.

According to the marking of the placement test, she needs to go over the third
assessment papers in maths. Could someone please clarify- are these the 8-9 years ones? And is that the same across the bond range of assessment papers It
doesn't say on the cover of the new edition books.
I've had a long chat with her this evening going through her worries and reminding her to ask for help earlier if she really is stuck.
I was reminded of something that I've read several times on the forum: that this roller coaster ride really does bring you closer to your kids.

I understand that sometimes when youread a forum post, you don't feel you have anything to contribute, but to someone who is feeling a little eggy faced and mental, even a smilie is appreciated.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:13 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2011 8:51 pm
Posts: 179
Dear penguin.

:P

Xx


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:20 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 6966
Location: East Kent
sounds like me with my children! I have the patience of a saint in school, but not at home!

I'm not sure about the bond papers, how old is your daughter? This year's tests are not until September and she may not have covered some of the work yet. Take it slowly! Make sure she is up to speed with her tables and quick mental maths, maybe work through the papers together showing her what she has to do note any "sticking points" and do more practice on those. There is a wealth of resources onliine, try to make it fun, she can do papers later in test conditions as the test looms.

Look at woodlands junior site (google it) and bbc has some fantastic resources.

:D


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:23 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 1413
Poor you, Penguin.

Eggy faced and mental :lol: :lol:

I'm not there yet in 11+ terms, some years to go, but I know there are days when I've listened too much to the school gate/ OH etc and then 'felt bad' when DC has not done too well in some homework/ workbook whatever. And then the inevitable guilt when I remember that he is just a kid and no kid gets 100% right all the time. Which adult does?:( Only to find 3 weeks' later, he's got some other really technical piece of, say, maths, that I was struggling with! :roll: :)

One bad day between you need not set the whole tone for the preparation, however. There must be some stuff she did in the paper which she did really well and you can praise her for that; and some stuff she needs to focus on - but that's what preparation is about: concentrating on the stuff that is trickier/ does not come naturally.

You obviously are a lovely mum, who cares for her DD, or else you would not be helping her to sit the 11+ or be on here expressing your feelings. Try to see the positives and remember that we are always on here for when it's a dip in that rollercoaster. :D :D

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Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:36 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2011 5:24 pm
Posts: 73
Poor Penguin - I do hope these posts have helped you.

Fatbanans - that was a really nice posting.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:19 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:33 pm
Posts: 239
Location: London
Poor penguin! :) I believe the Bond third level papers are age 9-10.

I know exactly what you mean about verbalising your horror - I was also very bad at hiding my anxiety when DD just didn't seem to know how to tackle questions

Don't worry, it's just one bad day. Give your daughter a hug, tell her you're sorry you lost the plot, that it's not her but the whole house move/school move thing is driving you mental and that she's doing fine.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
I've had similar stresses Penguin, and posted under " I'm worried I'm not being realistic " on the Everything else part. My son is due to sit the Kent Test this September...the same as your DD ? and didn't do very well in a maths paper I gave him. I've found that after the initial aargggh ! it has actually helped because I can now see which areas to work on and he has improved already. Another thing is this really is the nature of the 11 plus ! Sometimes they do really well other times it's as if they've never seen the work before in their lives ! My DS1 is now at grammar and did swing wildly between the 2 extremes. You must just remain calm and impartial telling them that they can do it. Just scream inwardly.

If DD hasn't done any work for a while then that will probably have an impact, but I found with mine they then pick up really easily ...the next test will be much better, I'm sure. If you are working through the Bond books , have you tried Bond online ? They have 10 minute tests which I find Ds is more compliant with and the maths are split into topics so you can really get to grips with certain things.

If you have any worries..just post, we all know how you are feeling and you really do feel much better for it ! :D


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:09 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:35 am
Posts: 755
Dear Penguin.

Poor you! OH's have got a lot to answer for don't they? Please don't beat yourself up. We have all been there and it is really hard at times. I was not at all sure about home tutoring my Dd. I have always supported any work done at home but have tried to avoid taking on the whole thing just because of the moments that you have described. That said I am working with her at the moment on all 11plus practice as we were badly let down by a tutor in December. A real low point for me not least because I knew that it would be a miracle to find a fantastic tutor with a vacancy now. So we have been going it alone. Dd is very keen but there are times when she has been very frustrated and I worry that I have not handled it well. Sometimes I just look at her beavering away,determined to achieve a great result this September in spite of the fact that she has been all but written off and I am so proud of her and then almost immediately I go into worry mode....I worry that shes putting herself under too much pressure etc etc. This is all done whilst I am sitting with her explaining how the question needs to be attempted and manage to smile my way through it. Sometimes though we have a bit of a meltdown and this is when I know that we both really need a tutor on board!!!

Please don't think that you are on your own...there is proof on this fantastic forum and lets face it you have only got to stagger round a few decent schools on an open evening to see that you are far from mental ! Some parents reach dizzying heights of near certifiable lunacy in the quest to bag that all important place. I have witnessed parents who belted out opera at one school open evening (to demonstrate that musical ability was in the family), at another one poor child was forced to hastily assemble his music stand and trombone to play a unscheduled piece of music to impress the head whilst his parents gazed on. I also saw an a4 size photograph being hawked around of one smiling family with the Pope.....this tactic didn't impress though because they showed up at the same appeal as me....the photo came along too.

You wouldn't be on here if you didn't care and you wouldn't be human if it didn't get to you sometimes. I am sorry that I don't have wise words of 11 plus preparation. In truth I am so concerned that I am making a pigs ear of it with dd that if I pass 'what I do..' on to anyone else I will feel totally responsible. When I had a minor 11plus wobble the other day and apologised my lovely ds said 'don't worry mum-at least no one else knows that you are bonkers'. Kind words indeed

Stay strong Penguin !
Tigger
xx


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:33 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 1413
:lol: :lol: Tigger2! Opera, instruments and a picture of the Pope? Think I'm going to bake a big chocolate cake when we go on our round of tours. Who can resist chocolate cake, tell me that? :wink:

Whether they pass or don't pass there are two other benefits from the whole process (I tell myself ...): firstly, that the extra input in maths, english, spelling, vocab etc etc. is not a waste of time for wherever they go next; and secondly, the DC are learning that anything worth striving for is worth working for and that in itself is a very valuable lesson.

Will someone please cut and paste this stuff back to me when I am totally loony and :shock: :shock: in 2015? :D

_________________
Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:51 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
I'll still be on here then probably in a different section ( unless I've been sectioned of course ! ) so I shall remind you FB. Maybe I shall just call you Bananas in 2015 :D


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