Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

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jaymum
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:45 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by jaymum »

Just had a text from mine saying he can't wait til end of lunchtime as he is standing there with no-one to talk to. He is quite quiet at first. Hope he settles in soon...
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by mystery »

They allowed phones during the day? Hope he is happier soon. Maybe they would all be more sociable without their phones.
doodles
Posts: 8300
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by doodles »

Oh Jaymum, nobody wants a text like that, cyber hugs coming your way.

I am sure that he will settle very soon; I keep telling myself they've only been there a day or two and they will all shake down. As I said DS knew nobody when he started but by the end of the first term (6 weeks or half a term to us oldies) you would think he had know them all half his life.

Have clubs started yet? I presume not; I found that they were a very good way for the boys to get to know each other, a common interest to talk about without having to think of a conversation! When rugby got going (DS's passion) he had so many more faces that he knew.

Chin up.
jaymum
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:45 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by jaymum »

Thanks Doodles. Yes I've told ds that he's only seen the others in his year for a few hours, but I think he was hoping to make loads of best friends immediately! Like your ds, mine knows nobody and feels that everyone else has someone from their old school to talk to, even though I've told him that isn't the case.
I'm sure he'll feel happier soon :?

I'll look forward to when clubs start then...
tonbridgemum
Posts: 421
Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:46 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by tonbridgemum »

Hi Jaymum, its so hard to not have the contact with them that you are used to at primary school. I'm already missing the drop off and pick up and the valuable time chatting on the school run.
My DS is doing ok, definitely putting on a brave face and struggled to get up this morning!
So glad its friday and we can all relax a bit tonight.
His big panic today was finding his form room once he got off the bus - they haven't been issued a map which seems a little harsh! I'm hopeful it will all come back to him when he gets there!
He doesn't know anyone either so its all such a big step making new friends and meeting so many new faces.
It took my older DS whos at another school ages to settle (one reason for a change of school), so i'm mindful that every day may have its challenges but hopefully he'll get into it soon and even enjoy the experience!! :lol:
TIDDLYMUM
Posts: 881
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 10:19 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by TIDDLYMUM »

I am all for letting them settle in, but if anyone feels their son is struggling with the loneliness factor, then a discreet call to form tutor/ head of year won't hurt at all. I am sure schools will try and link them up with others in the same situation.

My son is an only child, and was the only boy from our school who went to his OOC grammar. I was frantic for the few few days, luckily he found a group quite quickly.

Hope it is resolved.
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by mystery »

Yes I hope he finds some people to hang around with soon - not necessarily his ultimate friends of course. I am still very puzzled that children are standing in the playground texting - I find that weird.
scarlett
Posts: 3664
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:22 am

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by scarlett »

I don't think it's weird, Mystery...If everyone else is chatting and you feel a bit of a Billy no mates, then I think I'd get my phone out to look busy. Either that or scuff your new shoes up in the dust. My ds also thinks everyone else knows each other but is going to rugby try outs after school so hopefully that will help. He's very particular but at primary was popular so I'm hoping it will just take time. I do feel a bit churned up so I sympathise, Jaymum. What school is he at? Anyone with a son at MGS? I know that usually produces tumbleweed..just wondering how anyone else is getting on. There still seems to be problems eating although ds1 tells me he has seen him queuing in the canteen ..not sure if that's just to stop me going on about it. His squid card is still registering as a total spend of fifty pence :shock:
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by mystery »

No I was not suggesting that it was a weird thing for anyone to do in that situation, more that I would not expect a school to be allowing the use of a mobile during school hours, including playtimes. It is not necessary and longer term could lead to hoards of kids fiddling with their phones and texting rather than moving around, playing, chatting etc. What policies do most schools have on this?

Also, although it makes your son feel better temporarily, it will not be helping him to mix either. After all, when he sends you the text, much as you would like to, you can't do anything about it. While he is fiddling with his phone he is not looking out for others or being open to others in a similar situation.

I am glad my dd's primary does not allow this. Why should it suddenly change in year 7? Interestingly, my dd for various reasons has had to endure many playtimes and lunchtimes on her own at primary for various complex reasons but it has longer term worked out well as she is confident about going and doing things in places where she does not know anyone.

Horrid as it seems, it should sort itself out longer term but it is worth asking the school what they do about this if it goes on beyond the norm. All my male relatives who attended kent grammars took a while to develop their excellent friendship groups so don't despair yet and tell him to put the phone away incase somebody nicks it!

Also meant to add, my relatives had friends from primary and in the first few weeks would have chatted to them a bit. After weeks, months and years most of these children were no longer friends. The much larger kent grammars ultimately yield much better friendship matches. At the small kent primaries there is little choice. It will happen. It just takes time.
silverysea
Posts: 1105
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: Needing reassurance, can't wait 'til home time...

Post by silverysea »

One of the long list of things that made my DD miserable in her year 7 was the strict policy on mobiles-if a teacher saw or heard one you got a mid-level demerit mark I think leading to a detention.

It wasn't the lack of mobile, it was the threat of punishment for every little thing. She refused to take it for most of the year- so had to walk home alone ( as no one can be seen with her as she was ostracised) with no way to contact home.

I agree with no mobiles in school hours but stopping them having them at all is no good either.

I guess I would contact the form tutor if you feel they aren't settling sooner rather than later.
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