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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:36 pm 
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........... for making my child's first ever very important test so hard that I now worry how she will approach any future exams within her next school and beyond. This has not helped psychologically at all.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:42 pm 
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Is there a chance that she has passed and the damage will be undone? In the past raw percentages of around 50% have been a "pass".


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:48 pm 
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Hi, thanks for answer. I'm hoping that is the case and if she does pass I can remind her of this time when she thought she had done so badly. But it is hard to see your child upset, and as her mum I feel guilty for putting her through it at the moment. Can't wait for the angst to be over with!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:50 pm 
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Location: Dartford, Kent
It is so difficult - my eldest managed the 11+ and all it entailed really well, but my youngest seems more sensitive and I worry how she'll feel if she fails. I know life is full of disappointments etc, but it does seem a lot to cope with when they're only 10.

mum9999 I feel the same as you at the moment.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 pm
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Location: caversham
mum9999 wrote:
........... for making my child's first ever very important test so hard that I now worry how she will approach any future exams within her next school and beyond. This has not helped psychologically at all.


Sorry to hear you've had an unhappy exam experience. Exam candidates are unreliable at predicting results they mostly focus on the negatives.

Given that the score required for a preferred school place maybe low try to manage expectations both ways.

A lesson I've learnt recently is the outcome is not as important as how you deal with it.

Good luck and best wishes.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:57 pm 
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Don't worry mum999. Children always remember the few questions they found hard and forget all the questions they answered easily.

My eldest came out of the 11+ distraught a few years ago, claiming that on one of the papers she had really struggled to answer the first few questions, got them all wrong, then randomly guessed the remainder in the last minute. I spent the next 6 weeks feeling devastated that she had done so badly. When the results came out she had achieved full marks!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:00 pm 
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mum9999 wrote:
........... for making my child's first ever very important test so hard that I now worry how she will approach any future exams within her next school and beyond. This has not helped psychologically at all.



Please don't worry, son number two took a big confidence kick after last year's,cem, he knew he had not passed before the results came.
He got a place at grammar through appeal and just sat a cem midyis.... I knew in advance but kept quiet. He came out of school, said he had sat a test, it was just like cem, simple but silly quick plus there were some other funny bits added in. He said it was fine and he felt ok about it. He had learnt that tests are not the be all and end all.

We did have to nurse him through the first few months after he sat the test and got his results though, he also kept saying "what's the point in working" :? But I promise, they recover, they bounce back!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:08 pm 
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Thanks all. I've told her it doesn't matter what the outcome is, and that we are very proud of the fact that she had a go. I also told her that if she found out it hard, then everybody else did too and the one's that said it was easy were most probably lying!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:12 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:54 am
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Hi mum999,

Don't be hard on yourself. These kids are quite resilient. They will quickly forget all about it after the exams and move on to the next challenge. The main thing is to keep calm, never give up and carry on working hard for your kids. Life doesn't stop with the grammar school.

Also stress the fact that many other kids go on to do well in their local comps

Motion


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:21 pm
Posts: 212
That's really tough for a 10 year old to deal with.

For most of our kids this will be the hardest thing they have had to do to date and their success or failure may have more to do with how they handle the pressure than their actual ability which seems so harsh.

That's my biggest fear for my daughter when she takes it on Saturday - whether she will be able to handle the nerves and do herself justice!

Its a very tough thing to ask when they are only 10.

The system stinks but its the one we are stuck with and hopefully they will all bounce back and learn something from the experience.

I guess its our job as parents to pick them up, dust them off and remind them how much we love them and how amazing they are whatever the result!


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