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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:00 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:32 am
Posts: 13
Hi i was just wondering if any one else has the same dilema as myself. i have two daughters one currently in years 6 and on in year 5. my year six has made it into a grammar school yippee! my year five is not of the same material.! more ino singing dance and drama etc. although i thought i might push her/support her!! into taking the eleven plus i/we decided to accept this difference and let her go the the local acadamy where all her friends will be and cater more to her interest without so much emphasis on academic side! I wonder if i am doing the right thing or should i have tried harder with her! still i think both girls will benefit from having their own space as have always only been one year apart! Just wondered how other parents deal with this problem...different schools or the same!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:54 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:52 am
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Hi there

we have non-identical twin daughters and in September they are going to different schools. One is going to a grammar, the other a good comprehensive.

they are a little apprehensive but also welcoming the chance to be themselves and develop some skills of their own where, as of now, they rely on each other to carry them in certain situations.

logistically it isn't the best scenario but things do have a way of turning out for the best.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:37 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:23 pm
Posts: 435
My daughters are also one academic year apart. DD1 failed to get into the local GS and so we have chosen to send her to an independent school rather than the local secondary modern which has just come out of special measures. The secondary modern is the only other state school available to us, as appeals to neighbouring better performing schools fail. Therefore going through the 11+ with DD2 in Sept we are faced with the same choice. Ideally she will pass the 11+ and go to the GS. I would prefer this to them both going independent (cost obviously being one factor :? ) as I do feel it is important for them to develop their own personalities in a good school. however, if she doesn't pass the GS 11+ then she will take the independent exam, and they will have to put up with being at the same school. They have, after all managed perfectly well during primary school. So for me, it's desirable but not essential that they go to separate schools.
Bouga


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:58 am
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Well I have a boy and a girl who have been at different schools (one at grammar and one at prep school) for the last 3 years. The schools were both 12 miles from home, but in opposite directions so it was a logistical nightmare. From September they will both be in the same town at least but at single sex schools.

We do get occasional clashes of events - concerts, parent's evenings etc - which can be a bit of a headache, but on the whole I like them being in different schools. I think sometimes people have expectations of a younger sibling based on their experience of the older sibling so it's great for them to be able to develop independently of their brother or sister.

If you can cope with different schools logistically then I feel it is better for each child to attend the school that best suits them.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:39 am 
I think that you are definitely doing the right thing in sending each child to the school to which they are best suited. How miserable to be pushed towards a school where you may well be unhappy just because it meets your elder sibling's needs.

If you had tried for the grammar with your younger child she would quite probably (on the basis of what you have said) have either failed to get in or got a place and struggled along. Either way she would have felt a failure compared to her more academic sister. Surely it is better to encourage and celebrate her own talents, in whatever field they may lie, than try and push her down a different path?

For what it is worth, I do not necessarily expect any of my daughters to end up at the same secondary school.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 8:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:32 am
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wow. thanks for the replies.Its always good to get other peoples opinions. Thanks kent99 i think you have echoed my thoughts in that i truly want to meet kids needs rather than what is just easier or the more conveinient option. I guess only time will tell on how both girls approach secondary school, friends etc as long as they are healthy and happy anything else is a bonus these days!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:09 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:18 pm
Posts: 490
Location: kent
Yes just go for the right school for the right child. Transport issues should be much easier for secondary school children as they should hopefully be able to get themselves there one way or another.

If you had a girl and a boy, rather than two girls, it is 99% likely in Kent that you would not even have had the option of sending them to the same school as, certainly in our area of Kent, there are so few mixed schools either selective or non-selective.

Good luck!


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