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 Post subject: Preparation for the 11+
PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:18 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:22 pm
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My son is in year 4 and won't be 9 until July. I have been preparing him for the 11+ since he was in year 3 and in recent months have been waking him up at around 6.45 in the morning to complete his maths questions before School. After school, he completes an English exercise and does some reading.

I have been criticised by both family members as well as educational professionals that I am placing too much pressure and burden on him far too soon. I do admit that he often resents the intensity but he does have the ability and I'm determined to get into a good grammar school. Can anyone please advise me whether I am pushing him too soon, far too early?

I would also add that he also has tuition for 1 hour a week for verbal and non verbal reasoning, which he has been attending for the past year.

Any advice as to how much time I should be devoting to him would be appreciated.

Thanks


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:29 pm 
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All children and families are different and i know that in some areas it is very competative to get your child into grammar - but personally i think you are doing too much too soon. If he was in year 5 i would say carry on if it is working for you both but getting up and working and thne working after school and a tutor in year 4- phew.

There are many threads on here about this sort of topic. So hunt around. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:54 pm 
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:10 pm 
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tiredmum wrote:
All children and families are different and i know that in some areas it is very competative to get your child into grammar - but personally i think you are doing too much too soon. If he was in year 5 i would say carry on if it is working for you both but getting up and working and thne working after school and a tutor in year 4- phew.

There are many threads on here about this sort of topic. So hunt around. :)

I do appreciate the comments. I think my intensity says more about me than my son.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:15 pm 
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Does the tutor set homework too? Does he like the tutor sessions?
Does he get much/any homework from school? Do you reduce his after school work if he does?
Is his school a good primary? Does it have a good track record for grammar?

Anything that involves getting up early would be too much for me and mine but all families are different - many DC's classmates will leave work until the morning :shock:

Personally, I would pull back a bit. Mornings or afternoons - whatever works for you - not both.
Also ensure that what he spends any extra time on is some area he is weaker at or some basic that he does not know well - surprising how many year 4's can't to random times tables questions quickly.

The reading needs to be driven by his interest.

As has been said here before, boys like doing stuff on computer so that may seem less onerous to him.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:47 pm 
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Location: Medway & Kent
Yes Tixylixy you are doing too much. Year 3 children should not be being tutored for 11+. The whole idea of grammar school is that it is a selective process to select the top percentage of ability.

If your child is having to be worked this hard at year 3, to stand a chance then I'm afraid I believe in my opinion you should stop. Let him be a child, do reading at home, help him with his tables...end of. School should be for work at that age, home should be for play, fun, etc.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:26 pm 
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Location: Chelmsford and pleased
I often think that in primary school many children could do more, but I don't think that 11+ coaching needs to begin this early.

Not sure which county you are in, nor how difficult your 11+ is, but the bright do pass with a normal amount of training/familiarisation.

I would always urge on the side of preparation as I know some able children who have not made it through due to a total lack of prep, but I don't think you need a regime like this until shortly before the test. I recommend that tutoring begins 10 months before the test to allow a relaxed and comfortable time for preparation that gradually builds up towards the end.

If your son is bored in primary school then you could try to find an academic or social interest that will stimulate him. Read lots, solve puzzles, play games. The pupils that I have had who have been best prepared have a huge love of reading, writing and/or logic puzzles. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:49 pm 
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Belinda wrote:
You might find the 'Chinese Parenting' post interesting...

Assuming your ds's prior learning has been equal to the norm, if he needs this much coaching to attain a place at an elite school then he'll likely not keep up or enjoy it once there. To most on this site, your regime, the early mornings, will seem very harsh.

An anomaly is you say he has the ability. Why such a regime then?

If he does indeed have the ability then you need to listen to your son more - you say he is resenting the intensity! I would be looking at ways to make learning enjoyable at his age not how much you can 'fit in'. He's young and compliant and wants to please you at 8 years old. There's a danger when he's older that this regime if it continues will in hindsight have been a bad idea. Be careful, be mindful. First think of your son's happiness and well being - physical and mental. Grammar school is not for everyone and not a means to a successful, healthy, happy life.

I wish you and your son well.



Thanks Belinda, I think I just need to learn a little self control and stop applying so much pressure on my son. Part of my problem is that when I have a goal, I allow that dream to become all consuming.

He has been assessed by four different tutor/teachers, who have all confirmed that he is very able and his school teachers have all reiterated this, so perhaps I just need to relax a little.

Thanks again. Your comments have been noted and are appreciated.

Regards


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:52 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
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Location: Buckinghamshire
Hi tixylixy

You might want to look at the "Preparation" link at the top of the Forum to see what is considered reasonable for a child of Y4 age. The information was mainly drawn from the combined posts of many members of the forum, so it should be fairly sound.

Sally-Anne


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:00 pm 
once one gets into a zone then it is very hard to break free, guilt tends to set in when the child is doing anything but study. Watch out for the signs, stressed parent(s) leads to a very stressed DC..


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