Just can't make decision!!!

[tiredmum]

Did any of your daughter have any friends going to RGS? How long did it take before they had some good friends? She's worried as her close friends are choosing another school.

i am sorry about your dd hurting her ankle

My dd went to RGS with 3 girls from primary. They were all put into different vertical forms and houses. RGS do this with all groups coming from different primarys as they feel it gives all the girls a fresh start and they are then all in the same position of needing to make new friends.

After the induction day dd wasnt sure about the friend situation, she dosnt like forcing that sort of thing. But after a very short time attending the school she had made good friends with several girls - she seems to have 10 to 15 that she talks about loads. Most are from her house but some are in another house and she has met them as they went to primary with a new friend. I have been plesantly surprised at how friendly the girls seem to be.

DD said to me the other day that at primary ( where she was popular) her girl friends were great as she had known them for ages but wern't the same as her - she feels many of her new friend are similar to her and more her type of person - interest wise etc.

hope this helps

[paulap]

Thank you to all of you who have posted very good advice. We did try to go in for the open morning to see RGS in action. Before that, we went to CG where she tripped and fell in the car park! But she managed to walk around for the tour. By the time we got to RGS later on, we got as far as the corridor before she felt she couldn't walk any further. Her ankle hurt too much. So we went home.

Did any of your daughter have any friends going to RGS? How long did it take before they had some good friends? She's worried as her close friends are choosing another school.

There were actually 10 girls who went from DD's Primary to RGS. She has one of them in her form but she isn't really close friends with her (and wasn't at Primary either). She has made quite a few good friends in the first term and at the Musical Evening a few weeks ago we were struck by how friendly they all were to each other (hugging etc).

She does walk to school with one of the girls from her Primary and she does sometimes meet up with her at lunchtimes.

[rubyhettybetty]

Still not really much further on...we returned to both Fort Pitt and Chatham Grammar this week on a 'normal' schoolday - really liked that the head of FP greeted us on arrival then had tea with us at the end, whereas I was surprised that we didn't see any teacher to speak to at Chatham Grammar - given they are the school usually with spaces...we'd had such a good feel of the school at the open evening, but that fell away a fair bit...the classromms were noisy, that could have been because of rag week I suppose, but at FP it was eeerily silent! The girls on the whole looked scruffy as well...I really can't make up my mind. We're unlikely to get FP on distance, so whatever we put for number 2 REALLY has to be the one we are happy with, and they are at opposite ends of the scale I guess - Rochester Gramm or Chatham!!!

Sigh

[tiredmum]

- really liked that the head of FP greeted us on arrival then had tea with us at the end, whereas I was surprised that we didn't see any teacher to speak to at Chatham Grammar - given they are the school usually with spaces...we'd had such a good feel of the school at the open evening, but that fell away a fair bit...the classromms were noisy, that could have been because of rag week I suppose, but at FP it was eeerily silent! The girls on the whole looked scruffy as well...I really can't make up my mind. Sigh

FP's crowning glory is their head thats why she is so visual and approachable. She is often one of the reasons people chose FP. IMO having very silent classrooms is not always a posiive thing - somewhere in between is good. On the working morning at RGS i found that the classrooms were not always quiet there was alot of interaction between he teacher and the children - which i liked.

You must go with which youd dd and you felt happy with

[rubyhettybetty]

People keep telling me too that FP girls are more likely to get into boy trouble and even drugs!!! Is this just tittle tattle??!!!

[tiredmum]

Historically - taking CGGS out of the equation - FP took the more working class bright girls, RGS the "posh" bright girls. Both still suffer from these long ago labels today. Obviously the tittle-tattle you have heard about FP stems alot from the old tags put upon the schools. And only yesterday a poster was saying her DH was concerned that their dd would nto fit in with the "private educated" girls from RGS. So mud sticks so to speak.

However as the years have progressed the divide between the two has closed somewhat. dd1 at FP has met many different types of girls - some posh as well as those not so. dd2 is enjoying meeting very individual girls at RGS, a few came from the private sector and or money but the majority of her new friends are just normal bright girls from normal families.

Dont get me wrong dd1 has told me about the FP girls who smoke, drink, cant be without a boyfriend. But equally she has talked about those that are only interested in their studies and getting A and A*'s. I am sure in a few years dd2 will have these stories to tell from RGS too.

The schools ARE very different and thats why i think your dd needs to say where she feels she could fit best.

[rubyhettybetty]

Trouble is, she doesn't seem to have much of an opinion

Grr

[Benoit]

Trouble is, she doesn't seem to have much of an opinion

Grr

That makes it easier for you to decide! Not really. Only jesting. I have had the same problem. RGS, FP and then RMGS came out of nowhere as I was so impressed with their open evening and music department etc. No concrete opinion either from daughter or wife!

It doesn't sound much but I found something as simple as actually listing the pros and cons and then choosing which had the most important pros or less cons etc. Your daughter will have her own that can be added to the list. That way, she doesn't need to choose the school but she'll really help you do it.

I have attended all the open evenings,done the taster days, open mornings and walked around school after school and listened to similar pitches from the HTs etc, at the end you need to decide what is right. I really agree with some of the previous posters who pointed out that some schools do a better 'show' than others. In fact, most of the good advice and opinion has come from here (thanks everyone!). Even Julia Bell at FP admitted this was the case and to watch out the effect some will wrongly have on your decision. RGS was an example of this. I found the open day quite poor. CGSG too. A lot of this comes down to the personality and confidence of the guide. They have a huge impact on your tour and quite wrongly, a big impact on your impression. It is wholly unfair to put that on nervous year 7/8 girls but it is just one of those things. FP for me was a fantastic open morning, when I listed why, it had a lot to do with the well spoken, confident lady (year 13) that you hope your daughter will aspire to. Conversely, with CGSG, our guide (bless her) looked rather scruffy and, at a glance, looked like she may have fell out of a moving car. She did her best but the experience was 'difficult' at best, despite her good intentions. Because of this we failed to walk away with a lot of the positives. Listing them really helped.

Then we prioritised pros. Like the textiles at FP. Fantastic! Best out of the lot. Is my daughter going to be a fashion designer or seamstress? Probably not. How regular is that particular lesson? Twice a fortnight. Is it really make or break with that? No.......and so on!

Thankfully, at the RGS open morning, it turned out a bit better so we could, hopefully, base a decision with all schools on an even footing.

I apologise if I documented the obvious or sounded patronising but I only did all this today and it really helped. I am about to pick the choices now online and know I'll have no regrets (I think!!).

I'm also working on the theory that, in any case, from day 1 your child will get on with whatever you choose and the decision would have lost importance by then.

[tiredmum]

I apologise if I documented the obvious or sounded patronising .

No not at all its nice to see you back on the forum and telling us your thoughts.

but I only did all this today and it really helped. I am about to pick the choices now online and know I'll have no regrets (I think!!). .

Are you going to share this with us?

I'm also working on the theory that, in any case, from day 1 your child will get on with whatever you choose and the decision would have lost importance by then.

agreed but it s good to find the school that fits your child the best

[lorrainey]

Hello Lorrainey,

I think you were with me and my daughter going around RGS. My daughter is the only one from her class putting RGS as a choice. She goes to a small independent (not posh!) school in Kent with only 5 other girls in her class who are putting Kent schools first. She felt very comfortable there and said she felt it was the right school for her. So she has no friends at all going to RGS. If she gets in (and she really wants to) she will be looking to make new friends. Hopefully your daughter may be the first of them!![/quote]


Hi Anxiousyear

What a small world! It's great that you have made your decision and that your daughter loved it as well. We went again today - last minute decision. She now would like to go to RGS. She was impressed with the music and singing, drama, product design (she loves making things Dragon's Den style) and the wall displays, including the 'superstars' and birthday displays. She has also found out one of her classmates is going to RGS, but with your daughter too, that would be an additional friend.

However, I was slightly concerned that the classrooms looked a bit cramped with the no of girls in there and found myself having to frequently count the no. of heads. Only about 30 but looked like so many more perhaps due to the small rooms.
FP didn't look as cramped perhaps as it's an older Victorian style building with bigger rooms.

Will have to discuss this with DH tomorrow as it's DD's bday and we've all got the day off, including the children - inset day. Hurray!!! Only a few days left to decide...