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PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:47 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Kent
Help Needed!

My nephew has unfortunately been unsuccessful on appeal to get into grammar school. He is also unlikely to get into any choice of secondary and has been offered New Brompton College. None of his friends are going there.......... Is anyone out there in the same boat? Perhaps the kids could hook up and form some friendships so they are not alone when they head off to the big school......? :cry:


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:55 pm
Posts: 851
Location: Bexley
Blanche - it's not necessarily a bad thing that your nephew doesn't know anybody going to his new school. I think when children start at secondary school, if there are children around they know there is a risk they will gravitate towards them during the first few weeks and not take the opportunity to make new, and perhaps more appropriate, friends at a time when everyone is new and more receptive to meeting new people.

My eldest started at secondary a couple of years ago with 2 boys from his class, neither of whom he had been particularly friendly with but both of whom he seemed to stick quite closely to in the first few weeks. My son didn't really have a lot in common with them and, after a couple of terms he moved away from them.

My second son starts at the same school in September and nobody else from his school is going there. I'm not at all bothered because I think this means he is more likely to seek out like-minded boys instead of sticking to people he knows.

Another point to bear in mind is that some schools organise classes so that children travelling from the same area are in the same class. My eldest met 5 boys at the bus stop on his first day who turned out to be in his class. I thought this was a huge coincidence until I realised that the school had done this deliberately!

There will be lots of boys and girls in the same position as your nephew - all looking to make new friends, or perhaps escape from the people they already know! I know it's daunting, but I'm sure he'll be fine. :)


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 11:21 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:47 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Kent
Hi there.

Thank you for your advice on this; I do tend to agree. When I went to grammar school, there were several people from my primary there. Whilst we initially (literally in the first few weeks) spent time together, we did tend to 'grow apart' thru the terms.

I think it is the thought of it for my nephew, when the reality will actually be ok. All this is falling on his deaf wee ears at the moment though!!, so I think we should leave for a while to sink in and then start to fire the positives at him once he starts to get curious.

In actual fact, the school where he looks to be ending up does seem to have fantastic facilities and methods - but it has become a 'symbol' of what he didn't want. Figure once we get thru that, he should start to warm to the idea.

I will pass your advice onto my sister too; I think it will go further to assure her that she is not doing the wrong thing in accepting things as they are and that it may infact be the best thing for the lad

Tx
Debs :D


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