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 Post subject: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:10 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:17 pm
Posts: 59
Hi,
I'm new to the forum, but have been using it for information since last year , so thanks very much for that, it's been an absolutely invaluable source of help for me. At the moment feel like I'm pushing my DD (she is Y5) last October made her do the Pre-test for NHGS she did really well..I don't want to burn her out before the real test in Oct .She has been complaining lately not really wanting to do any sort of homework.. we do not have a tutor just do the bond book at home. My point is do I give her a break? Or bribe her? I keep telling her how time flies.


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:13 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 1413
I'm sorry I can't help you with your area, but I just wanted to say hello! There are always discussions on here about how much pressure to apply to children and when! It is a tricky balancing act and everyone just wants the best for their kids. I'm sure someone will be along soon with advice for your particular area and previous experience of their children and their reactions to the 11+ plus prep.

Good luck! :D

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Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:59 am
Posts: 2001
Hi panicmum,

If you feel like you're pushing her and she is in danger of burning out then you should probably take stock and really consider what you want to achieve before October. I don't see any need for panic with ten months to go.


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:29 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2011 11:41 pm
Posts: 181
Dear panicmum...dont panic!

I set up a contract with my DS and we had it on the fridge with clearly marked out days that we would prep and days where he could play/xbox...and it worked. We adjusted to suit us both and holidays etc but i felt that he worked better if he had free days to look forward to and we did not mention study at all!

Agree with Mitasol, you have a fair way to go but your DD is doing extreamly well if she is achieving a pass mark for NHGS at Y5? am i right because do most sit the pre test at Y6?

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail...so plan ahead and you know your chld better than anyone..there will always be good weeks and bad weeks and its lots of focusing on the final goal and yes bribery works! I found myself feeding him maltesers once in a bid to get him to finish a papers in August when it really did get tough......he passed so my methods couldnt have been too wild!

Good luck

Q
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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 16
some advice from my experience;

1. Consult your childs jnr school teacher about their opinion of your childs ability, if they think it's not a good idea trust them (see link to this excellent post by 'Whatnowformarmite' which illustrating the stark realities).

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/11plus/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=23754&start=10

2. Get your child motivated and 'sold' on the idea of Grammar school, pointless if not motivated.
You know when their motivated when they're asking to go into the back room to practice VR papers under exam conditions!

I motivated my child by mentioning the great rugby tours to Australia, the excellent teachers etc..

3. Think about a tutor, we took our child to one for 2hrs every Sat morning during term time. They assess your childs weakness and quickly build them up.

4. Keep things relaxed and tell them "just do your best, if you fail it's not end of the world"

Mitasol got it spot on - "it's more stressful for the parents" it really is!


Good luck and try to keep calm :wink:
FaxFan


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:09 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:22 pm
Posts: 347
Location: West Yorks
I recently took Gogi's advice and set up a contract with my DS and so far it has worked wonders! he has 3 days a week where 11+ is banned! :wink:

If your DS is already at such a high level do you need to push too hard at the moment? How is she finding the bond books? What kind of marks is she getting? Maybe if you are working at too hard a level it may help to drop down, without telling her, to give her a boost for a week? Make her think she is doing better than she is and boost her confidence?

With my DS we do an hour straight x4 a week, at the end of the hour, regardless of what is happening and if he has not finished a paper etc. we stop, then he knows he has boundaries and where his limits are rather than seeming to drag on forever. He is onside and really wants to do the 11+ so that is a help!

During the summer holidays I will adjust it and we will probably ramp it up a little, I will have to see how he is getting on, I don't want to push him too hard and then have DS offside as you are fighting an uphill battle then. My DS is in Y5 and sitting 11+ in Sept, I know exactly what you are going through!

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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:17 pm
Posts: 59
I would like to thank everybody for the swift replies:

Fatbananas
Hi and thanks for your kind words.

Mitasol
Hi, thanks and I'm going to try and relax more.

Faxfan
Hi, thanks for the great advice.

Gogi
Hi yes I think most are Y6 that sit the pre-test, but they were a number of Y5 children (4) from my DD class also sat the pre-test.

FluffyD
Thank you for all your help. She find the bond books easier now her marks for VR bond book did start at 80+% now 90+%. Maths again started at 80+%, but now over 90+%. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:22 pm
Posts: 347
Location: West Yorks
panicmum wrote:
FluffyD
Thank you for all your help. She find the bond books easier now her marks for VR bond book did start at 80+% now 90+%. Maths again started at 80+%, but now over 90+%. :D


Then I would try and relax a little, she is obviously a bright cookie and if you push er too hard it could backfire on you.
Maybe just have a few weeks of only doing prep x2 a week for 1 hr then slowly building it back up as the exams near? Bribe her with sweets as you go? A bowl of maltesters while you are working never hurts!

x

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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2011 11:41 pm
Posts: 181
I had read the post from Whatnowformarmite, and agree its a heart wrenching account of failing the 11+. I completely agree with the points they make and having been in both a pass and a fail situation, my heart still sinks when i remember the disbelief on my DS's face and the deep sadness that i felt that i had failed him! ..huge lessons learnt...

The 11+ is not for the faint hearted!

Goodluck everyone

Q
X


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 Post subject: Re: Too pushy?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:27 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:22 pm
Posts: 347
Location: West Yorks
Gogi wrote:
I had read the post from Whatnowformarmite, and agree its a heart wrenching account of failing the 11+.
The 11+ is not for the faint hearted!


Your not wrong and we are not even near the exams yet!

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