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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 1:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:31 pm
Posts: 54
What it was like when my DS was sitting the entrance exams last year. The things I would hear whilst waiting for my DS to enter and exit the exam was shocking. Lost count of the amount of times I overheard people saying that local kids weren't bright enough. My DS's state school was also criticised whilst my husband stood nearby. Coincidental you may think but my youngest was wearing the uniform at the time. All in all quite shameful and ignorant behaviour. For one of the entrance exams the boys were encouraged to bring a book with them to read during the break. It was so telling to see a number of boys holding brand new Shakespeare books :roll:

What I'll never forget though, was the way a boy and his family were looked at just because they didn't appear to be from a priviledged background so clearly regarded as no competition - shameful! I really hope he got a place.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
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Location: East Kent
I agree, like your experience it is the vocal minority who give others a bad name as there is a danger of tarring everyone with the same brush.

Can I politely remind everyone of the forum rules..

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=148


specifically Forum Etiquette

1. Be polite. Even though you are looking at a computer screen and cannot see other members, they are real people who have feelings.

2. “Think first, post second.” A post may not always read the same to others as it does to you. Review your post before submitting it and consider how it will be received by others. If your post is misinterpreted and causes offence, explain and apologise.


Thank you

Yoyo
Moderator



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:12 pm 
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I am so glad that someone has said this, I really couldn't agree more. Where have all the normal parents gone?


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:13 pm 
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cakemummy I am sorry that this has been your experience however I never experienced the behaviour that you describe when my DD was sitting the entrance tests. I merely overheard anxious parents discussing with other anxious parents what schools their children were applying for and what tests they were sitting.

Unfortunately this is an emotional topic for many people and everybody sees the topic from their own personal point of view with no regard for the feelings of others (and that applies to both local and non-local people).

In my view it is always best to ignore any comments of these sort and give them the lack of regard which they deserve. Why care what anybody says who (a) doesn't know you and (b) is not someone who's opinion you value.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:15 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:03 pm
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It's summer; it's been a long half-term, awful weather, more 11+ competition in some areas than ever before and impending exams in September, which also anticipates a stressful 6 week summer break. We all need a holiday. :|

_________________
Seize the day ... before it seizes you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:28 pm 
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Scoopy19 - You are missing the point, nobody should feel they have the right to cast their opinions on others. I would never behave that way towards anyone but that's just me.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:00 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
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Sorry cakemummy, I have had a long day. I have just sat down with my cup of tea and thought I would log on to the forum. Are you saying that you feel this forum represents the judgemental people you met at your DC's entrance exams? Sorry if I have misunderstood you but as I say it has been a long day, most of it spent with a headache. :(

I have to say I have found this forum extremely supportive over the years. I have asked many questions and have always found forum members so kind and helpful with their answers, suggestions and advice. One lovely forum member, she knows who she is, sent me some A level practice questions which she downloaded onto a USB and sent to me through the post. I thought that was a very kind and generous things to do, by a person I have never met. I don't always agree with everyone's opinions and I am certain people don't always agree with mine. However, I always find the many varied threads interesting and informative. Every now and then the odd comments arises that may appear to be a bit judgemental but it is always challenged by someone on here.

I am sorry about your experience. I agree with Scoopy19. I tend to ignore people who behave in such a way. It would be a shame to tar everyone with the same brush, as I am sure the majority of the people who attended the entrance exams with their children did not hold the same views. People tend to hang on to the bad and overlook all the other good people who are usually in the majority.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Fran17 wrote:
Sorry cakemummy, I have had a long day. I have just sat down with my cup of tea and thought I would log on to the forum. Are you saying that you feel this forum represents the judgemental people you met at your DC's entrance exams? Sorry if I have misunderstood you but as I say it has been a long day, most of it spent with a headache. :(

I have to say I have found this forum extremely supportive over the years. I have asked many questions and have always found forum members so kind and helpful with their answers, suggestions and advice. One lovely forum member, she knows who she is, sent me some A level practice questions which she downloaded onto a USB and sent to me through the post. I thought that was a very kind and generous things to do, by a person I have never met. I don't always agree with everyone's opinions and I am certain people don't always agree with mine. However, I always find the many varied threads interesting and informative. Every now and then the odd comments arises that may appear to be a bit judgemental but it is always challenged by someone on here.

I am sorry about your experience. I agree with Scoopy19. I tend to ignore people who behave in such a way. It would be a shame to tar everyone with the same brush, as I am sure the majority of the people who attended the entrance exams with their children did not hold the same views. People tend to hang on to the bad and overlook all the other good people who are usually in the majority.



Fran, I think the Tiffin threads have been getting a bit heated. I have certainly seen a few comments that have made me :shock: , but as you say, most people aren't like that, and I have always found everyone very supportive on here.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:44 pm 
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Thank you for filling me in Scary. I haven't read those particular threads so I'm sorry if I am butting in. It's a great shame that people feel they can behave in such a way. Cakemummy, try not to let unkind, ill informed, judgemental comments get to you. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand why people would, or even could, behave in such a way when you yourself wouldn't contemplate doing so. I hope you have a good summer and look forward to your son doing well at his new school in September. The only way to silence these people is to maintain your dignity and prove them wrong. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:52 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:04 am
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cakemummy wrote:
Scoopy19 - You are missing the point, nobody should feel they have the right to cast their opinions on others. I would never behave that way towards anyone but that's just me.


I am not missing the point at all. Of course nobody has the right to cast their opinions on others but that is human nature I am afraid. Have you never judged somebody or somebody elses actions, rightly or wrongly (and I'm not referring to just on this topic)? The difference is that you probably don't voice your judgemental thoughts in public (I certainly don't).

I don't like the behaviour you describe and like you, it is not something I either condone or would engage in but there is nothing I or you can do about it so the best thing to do, as Fran17 has said, is to ignore ignorant and ill-informed comments from people you don't value. Because the only person who is affected by thinking about these negative comments is you and why do that to yourself?

As a generality I think this is an extremely supportive forum and whilst the Tiffin thread has got a bit heated at times and some of my humour has gone awry (I really need to work on my technique), I do think it has largely been conducted in an emotional and understanding way.

God luck to your DS for his September start.


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