What to do - advice appreciated

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Gringo64
Posts: 85
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:00 am

What to do - advice appreciated

Post by Gringo64 »

Congratulations to people who have had good results and sorry to those who have received bad news.

Our DS sat exams for WCGS, Wilson's and SGS. He has always maintained that he likes Wilson's and SGS, but for some reason, he doesn't like WCGS.

Unfortunately, he has only passed the WCGS exam. (He is one of those boys who gets all the right answers, but works far too slowly, so he didn't complete the exam papers in the time given. We are gutted about this)

The problem is that he is now adamant that he does not want to put WCGS down as his first choice. He prefers our local comprehensive school, which is where many of his friends will be going.

We realise that his chances of getting a place at WCGS are quite slim, given that he failed the other 2 grammars, but my husband and I still feel inclined to put WCGS down as our first choice.
I am thinking he may prefer the comprehensive now, but in the future, he might regret not putting the grammar down as he preference.

Any views or advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated. I am so confused and we need to decide what to do before the end of this week.

Thank you
monstermum
Posts: 342
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:26 pm

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by monstermum »

We were in similar postion when my Year 8 son passed the Kent Test. He wanted to go down the hill to the local comp with a gang of his friends. We as the parents decided that this wasn't the best option for our son and won him a place at the grammar school. Whenever I say to him remember when you wanted to go to ** comp he laughs and says how ridiculous. Now he is almost 13 he is a much more grown up than the 10year old who could only see the immediate future and not the whole picture. I believe it's your first choice as his parents and not his. Good luck with whatever you decide.
suzanne

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by suzanne »

This is one of the last big decisions which you can decide for your son. He will decide GCSE options A-levels etc.

In 20 years time you would not want him to say "Why didn't I go to a grammar school?"

I would try to talk with him and find out the reasons why he is favouring the comp over grammar. Your DS will make new friends at secondary school. Even if he transfers to the comp with his friends his circle of friends will change.

You could always start him off at the Grammar school and if it doesn't work move to the comp later.

March is a long way off and children can change their minds every week.

I think you need to make the decision for him as you have his best long term interests at heart.
Riotan
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 7:56 am

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by Riotan »

I had a son in the last year in a similar position now currently in WCGS and loves it.

Since he did not pass any other he was worried he will not make it, at the same time hated the idea of losing friends.
We went ahead put WCGS as the first choice and he made it.
Your son will make new friends and will like it by half term in the worst scenario!And there is a high probability he will get a place.
ThreeKids
Posts: 199
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:16 pm

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by ThreeKids »

For what it's worth I know 3 boys locally that we're in the same position with their sons in the year my eldest sat the tests. They all decided to let their sons chose. At least two of them now regret that decision, I don't have contact with the third. Now quite why they regret it is a little unclear, because you never really know how things would have panned out if a different decision had been made. One is super bright and quite an outsider at his comprehensive. He has always been a bit of an outsider anyway. I think it is more likely that he might have found kindred spirits at the grammars. The other is bright but a little more spirited and less applied. At the comprehensive he is doing well, but is apt to get in with a more spirited crowd. Of course the comprehensive is quite happy with how he is performing, because he is near the top, but the thought is that he coasting. As I said it is very difficult to tell whether either would have done better at the grammars, but I know the parents regret the decision. The boys may in the longer term, or now. Needless to say of course the friends that they were so keen to go to school with are in different classes and are therefore much less important than they were at the end of year 6.
Gringo64
Posts: 85
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:00 am

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by Gringo64 »

A unanimous verdict!
Thank you so much. Your comments have really helped clarify the situation. We know what to do now.
tiffinboys
Posts: 8022
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:00 pm
Location: Surrey

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by tiffinboys »

They all wanted to become Postman Pat, Fire Fighter, Dustbin man, etc. at some point and then moved on.

You know your child best and can take the decision in his best interest. I am sure he will be grateful for that in times to come.
Please support Tiffin School’s Gym Appeal. Visit school’s website to donate.
lilly987
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:46 pm

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by lilly987 »

Hi all,
it was valuable to read all your posts as I am in a similar position as Gringo64 and I feel a bit lost at the moment. My DD passed NS and we were over the moon, but then realised that her score might not be high enough to get in after all. After having looked at last year's results, I feel the chances to get in are quite slim to be honest. My poor DD is quite frustrated, calls herself a failure etc :(. NS is definitely still our favourite school, but I am wondering whether putting it down as no1 could risk not getting our 2nd choice which is a local, but often oversubscribed, comprehensive. If she doesn't get in at NS (as our no 1), have we missed our chance at the local comprehensive (our no 2) because all those who put that school as no 1, get their place first? How does the allocation process actually work? Does the local authority inform all the schools on our list (without telling them the preference) and all those schools get back to them with either a YES or a NO and we are then offered a place at the school with the highest preference and a YES? I am grateful for any advice.
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by Sally-Anne »

lilly987 wrote:NS is definitely still our favourite school, but I am wondering whether putting it down as no1 could risk not getting our 2nd choice which is a local, but often oversubscribed, comprehensive. If she doesn't get in at NS (as our no 1), have we missed our chance at the local comprehensive (our no 2) because all those who put that school as no 1, get their place first? How does the allocation process actually work? Does the local authority inform all the schools on our list (without telling them the preference) and all those schools get back to them with either a YES or a NO and we are then offered a place at the school with the highest preference and a YES? I am grateful for any advice.
If the LA/School is unable to offer your daughter Nonsuch, that preference vanishes and the comprehensive automatically becomes your new first preference. Provided you meet the admissions criteria, that is the school you will be allocated. Putting Nonsuch first will not harm your chances of the comp in any way at all. You can still apply to be put on the waiting list for Nonsuch, even after you have accepted a lower preference school.
lilly987
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:46 pm

Re: What to do - advice appreciated

Post by lilly987 »

ok, that's good news! Thank you!
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