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 Post subject: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:10 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2015 11:56 am
Posts: 24
Hello all

It's all a bit emotional at home right now and I am after some words of wisdom/comfort.

We were initially trying for Wallington Girls, DD sat first stage test and passed, then it was suggested she sat the Nonsuch second stage as practice for Wallington which she did. She passed Nonsuch but failed Wallington. Based on being out of catchment and her score I thought it highly unlikely she would get a place at Nonsuch but put it down as our first choice anyway just in case but we were all expecting to get our local comp.

Well shocker she got a place at Nonsuch, we were not prepared for this at all, we didn't even go and look at Nonsuch, feel stupid and naïve now!!! I know it is only very early days but DD is upset about leaving all her friends, I am also concerned about the journey as we also have a DS at local primary (Coulsdon).

I feel guilty for not taking her to see it and not really explaining the consequences but appreciate it is a fantastic school and that is what is important.

Help guys please .....


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:23 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 1:53 pm
Posts: 23
Phone Nonsuch and ask if you can visit! When our oldest son was offered WCGS many years ago, we suddenly weren't sure anymore, asked to be put on Wison's waiting list, were offered a place there, got our knickers in a serious twist, and then asked for visits at both schools. Wilson's did not grant one, but WCGS was more than happy to show us round again and in the end that is where we went. Very happily. Just ask. You have nothing to lose.


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:21 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 4:04 pm
Posts: 723
Coulsdonmum wrote:
I know it is only very early days but DD is upset about leaving all her friends,


I know it is very hard for 10/11 year old girls to understand but in my experience friendships rarely last healthily from primary into secondary school. I am sure there are exceptions but moving onto secondary school is such a great time to re-invent yourself and make friends with those people the 11-year-old relates to rather than those the 5-year-old related to.

Dd did move on with 3 friends from primary - none of whom she now sees at school at all, although they still go to an out-of-school activity together. Similarly with her friends who went to other schools - all of them went with at least 1 or 2 peers, none of them are now close to each other in the school. In fact dd has stayed closer friends with girls who went to different schools. Her friends from her new school are great and seem to have a lot more in common with her.

I would try and sell it to her as an opportunity to discover new people (assuming you can deal with the journey!)


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:48 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:19 pm
Posts: 798
Can I echo the above. back in 2009, my son passed two selective out of area exams, one for a school where a few of his friends would be doing and where the travel was prett straightforward if long.

We left it up to him completely and he seleced the one where no one he knew was going and the transport was a bit more complex :roll:

He never looked back, he's made great friends and became independent very quickly. It was an 11 mile journey but he still now happily leaves the house at 7am as he has done for the past 6 years.

Ask to look round the school for a start. I bet she won't be the only 'only' being offered a place.

And well done!


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:49 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
Even if she goes to the same school as friends, the chances are they will get split up. A strong friendship will survive not being at the same school, not so strong friendship barely survive being in different classes.


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:57 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2015 11:56 am
Posts: 24
Thanks all.
Called school they said to email admissions, did but no reply yet. Now concerned about journey, wish I could just stop myself worrying so much.


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:14 am
Posts: 228
Coulsdon mum,I drive through Wallinton and on to Croydon about 7.30 ish most mornings and see several girls in Nonsuch uniform on their way to school.I assume they get the train as I don't see them at bus stops.
One idea would be to aim for a station that's easy to drop off at ( Carshalton Beeches is) and then she could get the train from there changing at Sutton for Cheam. Loads of girls walk from Cheam station.
I wouldn't attempt to drive to school in the mornings as Cheam is a bit of a nightmare at that time for traffic.


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 Post subject: Re: Right decision ?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:15 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:28 pm
Posts: 162
It can be a bit of a mental shock to have to change plans but if the journey's doable think long term. Secondary schools are about new friendships and many schools may deliberately split up primary school groups to avoid cliques forming,
anyway.

I would say if you can get there in less than an hour, take Nonsuch. You will no doubt find others in your area that are going and new friendships will be made (the best friends from primary days will remain).


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