Negative comments

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:35 pm

[quote="sj355"][quote]
"I have to say I have never encountered criticism in the real world out there when I say that I send my DS to the grammar he goes to. Only admiration."

I find real variation.I try not to mention it but if asked, the response is either, "oh lucky you", or horror stories of imagined exam stress/ anorexia/ drug taking etc. or they will tell me of the girl in town "who swore and had a short skirt and went to the grammar school!"

It just brings out a defensive reaction in some people. I feel blessed to have both my older ones going there so I just try to be gracious and let the comments go.

katel · Post by **katel** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:36 pm

Am I the only person <katel dons hard hat in case> who thinks that the presence of independent schools in our society is divisive and props up the hideously class ridden system that ensures that 7% of the population controls 84% of the wealth? And that the very fact that the vast majority of the movers and shakers of the country send their children to a very tiny group of schools means they have no particular interest in making sure that the majority of schools are properly funded and resourced?

FirstTimeBuyer · Post by **FirstTimeBuyer** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:42 pm

katel wrote:Am I the only person <katel dons hard hat in case> who thinks that the presence of independent schools in our society is divisive and props up the hideously class ridden system that ensures that 7% of the population controls 84% of the wealth? And that the very fact that the vast majority of the movers and shakers of the country send their children to a very tiny group of schools means they have no particular interest in making sure that the majority of schools are properly funded and resourced?

On this thread....em......yes you are.

sj355 · Post by **sj355** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:46 pm

horror stories of imagined exam stress

Oh, I had two commnets like that but my asnwer was that this individual experience indicated that obviously the pupils facing these difficulties were not up to the rigorous of GS. But I did not perceive this as critcism and surely it is not? However , I have to say I would be very worried if anything about short skirts being worn at the school was mentioned as my DS goes to a boys only school

It just brings out a defensive reaction in some people.

As I said this is the result of scarcity

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:46 pm

Hi Katel,

I think there is a difference between the "ideal and the real".
I am sure that many of the posters who send their children indep ,would really rather not, if ALL state comprehensives educated children to the best of their ability, in a safe and stimulating environment.

That is clearly not the case .It should be but it is not.

All the arguments about closing down indep schools and grammars are unrealistic.No elected government would dare do it.So in the meantime if your local comp has had several stabbings/ or the police constantly called in and you can afford private, then you will.
Yes this does perpetuate some of the problems but it would be a rare parent who chose their children's school on the basis of what was good for society.We look to protect our children and nurture what talent they have and most parents pick a school on the basis of that.

Is it a fair system for everyone ? Clearly not

SunlampVexesEel · Post by **SunlampVexesEel** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:48 pm

suncrest wrote:Am I being overly sensitive?

Yes.

**** Them.

Loopyloulou · Post by **Loopyloulou** » Mon May 11, 2009 3:12 pm

Congratulations suncrest!! Well done! What a clever DS you have!
...and don't worry about what others might think, you're doing the best for your child, and soon you'll be walking in circles where everyone supports you and you'll wonder why you were ever concerned about what those less fortunate might think. People such as your friend are rather petty-minded, and to be pitied for it. Nonetheless, noblesse oblige, so let's not spoil this thread (which started so very well) with too much petty comment.

Good luck Snowdrops! I feel so much for you. Fingers crossed!!

suncrest · Post by **suncrest** » Mon May 11, 2009 3:32 pm

Gosh! I have opened up a can of worms...It's clearly not just one friend I have offended!!

I was going to post the outcome of my meeting with my friend but will not now.

Unfortunately an ideal world does not exist nor an ideal education system in any country in this unideal world. We all want Utopia, but if Utopia as a whole cannot be made to exist we have to make our own mini ones the best we can. And if that sounds purple dinosaur Barney-ish then so be it.

Thanks for your kind words those that gave it - I was just looking for advice.

I have to go now and make my DS some tea as he has just started his SATS exams today

tense · Post by **tense** » Mon May 11, 2009 3:35 pm

Oh Suncrest, I am sorry you have had this experience with your friend. Even though you're not sharing the outcome I hope you have made up.

Maybe she'd had a glass or two of merlot & wasn't being as tactful about her views as she might otherwise have been - she might even have apologised to you!

I'm with Chelmsford Mum - this treatment isn't confined to people who choose private over state. My DD is in Year 7 at a state partially selective school (we don't even have proper grammars in Herts) & I still get the cold shoulder from people who believe I think she's "too good" for the local comp ....

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Mon May 11, 2009 4:14 pm

[quote="suncrest"]Gosh! I have opened up a can of worms...It's clearly not just one friend I have offended!!"

I don't think you have offended anyone else.I, and others, were simply saying that people on both sides of this are unkind about the other and shouldn't be.

Well Done to your son.

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